Oh Big Brother. You cruel, cruel mistress. Last night was a classic Big Brother emotional roller coaster. There were highs, there were lows, and there were laughs. Oh so many laughs. Watching Joshuah sob by himself was almost worth the price of admission. Watching Joshuah make Sheilah sob too was even better. However, while there was plenty of wonderful drama and fighting and tears, it simply couldn't mask the profound sense of frustration I felt throughout the episode — an emotion that only grew stronger in me as we approached the one hour mark. This show isn't good for my mental health, people. I'm pulling out my hair, aging five years faster than I should be. And for what? Another awful person to win the whole thing? After last year's Dick Donato fiasco, I don't think I can take another sucky winner, but if this keeps up, that might just be what I'm in for...
And now, photos.
"Nothing can go wrong with this plan, bro. Nothing at all."
"Yew know wut? Yew don't owe me thanks for my pep talk, but ya kinda dew."
"And yew know wut else? If yew don't turn down the heat, I might die in here. Die, I tell yew. DIE!!!"
"Yew know wut, Josh? I believe in yew."
"FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING WHORE CUNT SLUT BITCH!!!!"
"The whole house is against me. And I don't know why. All I've tried to do since I've gotten here is ceaselessly play the victim, and for some reason they just don't like that. I'M ON AN ISLAND!!!"
"Sheila, I don't know how many times I have to tell you to zip it. I've already said it SEVEN TIMES!!!"
"Wait guys. Matty's sending me a psychic message he says... NEVER TRUST A GUY WITH A PINK MOHAWK."
"Bro, do you think Jen's mad that I still don't miss her?"
"Hey Sheila. I just want to talk to you about something in a calm and collected way."
"YOU FUCKING BITCH!!! YOU LIED TO ME!!!!"
"JUST LIKE THE TIME MOM TOOK ME TO THE CANDY STORE AND SAID SHE WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME, BUT THEN SHE DID ANYWAY, AND I HAD TO LIVE WITH MR. PETERSON AND MY INVISIBLE FRIEND ROLANDO!!! YOU LEFT ME AT THE CANDY STORE, SHEILA!!! YOU LEFT ME!!!"
"Yew know wut? Yew don't owe yourself a therapy session, but ya kinda dew."
"You don't understand! I don't have an alliance! I only have two other people!!!"
"I'M ON AN ISLAND!!!"
"Yew know wut, CBS? Yew don't owe me an island getaway, but ya kinda dew."
"I can't believe Sheila lied to me. It's almost as if we're on some strange game show where people lie to each other to win money... ON AN ISLAND."
"She's the one who lied to me after I broke my word multiple times!!!"
"Yew know wut? If he comes out here to talk, I would die. I'd die inside. DIE!!!!"
"I... I just don't understand. Back on week two of the show, I told Julie Chen that I hated everyone in the house, and for some reason, they're all out to get me now. It's like they picked up on my disdain. And all I ever did was thinly veil my contempt. Why is this happening to me? Why?? Send me some supplies because I'M ON AN ISLAND!!!"
"I just wanted to play nice -- when I wasn't breaking my word or talking shit about people behind their backs. Is that so much to ask?"
"Hey guys, here's the game plan. Let's be IDIOTS."
"Yew know wut? I'm a big trivia fan. I play trivia. I watch trivia. I rent trivia movies. So yew don't owe me some trivia right now, but ya kinda dew."
"I gotta win this for my FURRRIENDDSSS!!!! MY BEEEBIEEES!! BOOPBEEPBEEEPBBOOOP."
"All these numbers... The possibilities are endless."
"Yew know wut? Yew don't owe me some shade, but ya kinda dew."
"And yew know wut else? If I get this wrong, I would die inside. Die. DIE!!!!"
"Suckers."
"Oh, that's right. I'm supposed to be crazy. Ummm... what could I do? Ah! I can dance. Here's my crazy dance! I'm crazy!!!! (and on an island)
"I'm such a FUCKING CUNT WHORE SLUT!"
"Josh? Beepboop beeee?"
"My beeebieees. Beeboop (sniffle) boppppbeeee (sniffle sniffle) beepbeepbeep booop."
"Yew know wut? Yew don't owe me to turn around so I can hug you from the front, but ya kinda dew."
"Yew know wut, Sharon? I just ate a whole bunch of bran, owkay? So yew know wut? Yew don't owe me the toilet, but ya kinda dew!"
"I'm the only one here with a veto around his neck. I'M ON A VETO ISLAND!!!"
"...fuckin' cunt whore asshole bitch slut..."
"So as the winner of the Golden Power of Veto, I will now give a patronizing and insincere speech. There may be an island theme."
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""Hey Sheila. I just want to talk to you about something in a calm and collected way."-ROFL! Oh James, please put some pants on! I'm definitely not a James fan, but I'm glad he went off on Sheila.
James was actually kind of funny last night. My fave part was when he & Nat were talking about Adam, and Adam barged in the room and got all confrontational and James told him to go back and read the bible...
Ew I hate James even more...it's all tears (not the pathetic kind like Matty cried) and whining about no Chelsia when he helped vote her out "Titanic going down with me aboard" but then as soon as he wins the veto, those jackass dances are broken out again.
And his speech was so smug and condescending. I didn't think I could hate him more than I did before last night, but I do. With the CRAZY voices and rubbery limbs and stupid dances, I realized he is the homeless man's Jim Carrey.
Could Sheila BE any more indiscreet?
Do you know why James won POV? Because Ryan has no balls. I actually think Jen took them with her when she left. Ryan is the second biggest skater in this bunch. Sharon being the first.
James is delusional. Yes. James is a whiny ass baby. Yes. James is two faced. Yes. So what?! I loved that James won and screwed up the God Squad's Manifest Destiny. I watch BB for moments like that.
I also loved BB showing Sharon in tears while Josh is making deals. Nice juxtaposition. (I like that word. And I so rarely get an opportunity to use it.)
hb
James kicked it. He kicked it. Shelia had to be called out. She had to be. HAD TO BE. If she kept doing what she was doing I would have died. If everyone kept letting her be two-faced I would have died!
Died inside!
DIED!!
Thank yew!! THANK YEW James!!
Even though Shelia needed to be called out, I still really dislike James. Gosh he was annoying last night.
hb -- I too loved that juxtaposition. That was fun editing. You could tell the producers were having a ball with that.
as for sheila, i've grown to love her and her craziness. she probably should not have said what she said to james because it served no purpose to her, even if she did feel bad for him at that moment in a motherly way. i still suspect that he took it out of context, but then again, it is hard to imagine any other context with some of the things she said. nevertheless, i'm not sure this was the most flagrant phoniness in the house. I'm not sure that it deserved a foaming-at-the-mouth tirade. certainly, getting backdoored is a more a yell-worthy offense. but i guess all his emotions were pent up and whatnot and this was the last straw.
This is the first episode I've liked James. He's growing on me a little. Can't stand Sheila. She deserved what she got. And poor Sharon, why, why, why is she so blind to Josh's ugly side?
Still rooting for Adam and Ryan final two!!!!
The best laugh I've had all week, yew don't owe me a laugh, but ya kinda dew....
Go James!!!!
Josh really is terrible. I wanted James to go home this week, but if Josh goes, that would be cool too. If he doesn't go, well, then that's a shame.
Why is Josh really terrible? I think Sharon is SUCH a bore-fest! ("Yew know wut, Sharon? Yew don't owe me to be funny, but ya kinda dew!" ).
At least Josh is entertaining. Oh well, I'm pretty sure he's going home tonight. B-Side, will that make you happy enough to do that Real Housewives of NYC Photocap? :)
If James wins HOH tonight, I going to just die. Die, I tell yew. DIE!!!
Why is Josh really terrible? I think Sharon is SUCH a bore-fest! ("Yew know wut, Sharon? Yew don't owe me to be funny, but ya kinda dew!" ).
At least Josh is entertaining. Oh well, I'm pretty sure he's going home tonight. B-Side, will that make you happy enough to do that Real Housewives of NYC Photocap? :)
If James wins HOH tonight, I going to just die. Die, I tell yew. DIE!!!
I don't know if you watch the live feeds or not, but Josh has a lot of anger inside of him. He used to go off on all the women in the house for doing things that he too was guilty of (gossiping, etc.). He's calmed down recently because I think he realized it probably was not a great strategy.
I also don't like how he thinks he's so hilarious. He really isn't.
as for Housewives, I haven't seen it yet, and most likely, I won't get to it until tomorrow. Look for a photocap later in the week...
I agree that Josh definitely has serious anger issues, but I guess that's why I also find him entertaining. Believe me, I think it's pathetic the way he's verbally attacked the women on the show(on the live feeds- esp Amanda and Natalie), especially since he's too much of a coward to attack the guys. But let's face it, Sharon is a total wet rag and I'd rather watch the nail polish dry off of Natalie's drawings than listen to Sharon squeal to her beeeebies.
I would never award Josh the $500K to win this, but would I rather have him stay in the house than Sharon this week? Absolutely :)
Re: Josh. Here is an incomplete list of my grievances against him:
1) He talked on national tv about how good it felt to put cocaine, um, where the sun don't shine.
2) He teased Amanda about her father committing suicide
3) He prayed to God for better abs
4) He unleashed horrible tirades on the women in the house for no apparent reason.
He has chilled out a lot recently, but not enough to make me forget 1-4.
I love it when BB edits the shows and leaves a little sum sum out. Like the fact that when Josh was making his deals to save his ass he totally outed his super secret alliance with Ryan (which totally pissed Ryan off). Or that Natalie (after making a deal to save Josh) ran to the other cooters and outed that alliance in order to save Sharon. Maybe AG will put some of that into tonights -- we'll see.
I also loved it when Josh kept saying that if it was his time to go he would do it with class and style - not like Trouble. So what he do? Flips out and goes Chels on Shelia. Oh yea - I can smell the class from here.
hb
Great page!
Funniest damn thing I've seen about BB9 the whole season. Well done! I want more.
Awesome Job!! Right on the money. I'd love to see more of your photo albums! They rock..Thank you for all of your hard work & for sharing.
Wah! I'm on an island all by myself..Wah! He thinks the show is all about him and I can't stand the way he acts. He knows they are all afraid of him and it's so gone to his head. Yuck! Go balla! Let's put the Pink Gumby Freak in his grave once and for all so we don't have to look at those rediculous clothes and gumby limbs, with big pink lips anymore...I'm praying it's morpho-matic so Natalie can desicrate his POV winning streak and keep Janie the all time POV Champ of BB.
Seriously some of the funniest stuff I've seen in a while..Keeo em coming..