Feeling desperate? Suffer from blindness? Deafness? Lacking any senses in particular? Well, if you have a few extra bucks, this might be just what you need to spice up your life: a date with American Idol's Constantine Maroulis, the living incarnation of baklava (and just as sticky!). It's an opportunity too wonderful/smarmy to pass up! Just imagine yourself at dinner, staring into those beady little eyes of his, two dreamy bags puffing out underneath like magnificent pillows of gorgeousness. He runs his hand through his greasy, unwashed hair and then caresses your face, leaving an oily smear of grandeur along your cheek. While you reach for your napkin, you notice his shirt is unbuttoned to the navel, revealing a hirsute series of flab rolls piled atop each other like a werewolf version of the Michelin Man. It's damn near impossible to look away from this hairy ode to jiggles, but then there's that smile. That beautiful, mousy smile. Who needs an upper lip when you've got a chin that resembles a perfectly sculpted anus? He has the total package.
And all you have to do is pay over $2,000 for the experience. Yes, this dream date is being auctioned off as part of the charity fundraiser (emphasis on charity), Rock Against Diabetes. The winner will get to accompany Constantine to the event, which will be hosted by -- you guessed it -- Dick Donato (a.k.a. Evel Dick of Big Brother 8). Constantine and Dick on the same date? And you out $2,000? Sounds like the best night ever!
If for some reason this sounds appetizing to you, then a) you may be suffering from a brain tumor, and b) feel free to get more information here. My suggestion: donate to the cause, forgo the douchebag has-beens.
• Date with Constantine Maroulis currently being auctioned for $2,000 [Reality Blurred]
EW! He is SOOO gross. I would pay twice that just to keep him AWAY from me.
I wish people would stop encouragng him. Then maybe he would fade into oblivion.
Funny...I see him walking down the street all the time in NYC for free...
I wonder if they tried getting Brett Michaels. After all, he did talk about his diabetes, or as he says it "diabetis," about 9,000 times in Rock of Love Season 1.
I wonder if they tried getting Brett Michaels. After all, he did talk about his diabetes, or as he says it "diabetis," about 9,000 times in Rock of Love Season 1.
OMG - what the hell happened to him? Its not like he was cute before but now it looks like someone beat him hard with the ugly stick. Did he gain like 50 lbs. too? And the hair - there just arent words for how quick I would change teams if he was the only man left in the world.
In related news, shares of rohypnol up ten points.
ew - i dont have anything to say besides just ew ew ew...followed by a violent shudder of disgust.
What do I get for 2 grand? Will he bend me over the sink and stick the tip in?
I might pay $2,000 if he re-enacted his infamous karate kick on the red carpet...you know, the one where he fell on his ass. On a more serious note, keep in mind that there's two types of diabetes...Type 1 and 2. Type 1 is where your pancreas shuts down and you are completely dependent on shots of insulin to survive. Type 2 is usually caused by being overweight and can be controlled with a diet. If anyone knows a Type 1 diabetic it's heartbreaking.
That picture is so disturbing, yet I can't look away.
my dog is a diabetic and dependent on insulin, but if I'm coughing up two grand- Connie and Dick better find two other faux rockers to engage in some DVDA with me.
It's pretty common for Diabetics to be impotent too. Just sayin'...