As I was toiling around the Internet the other day, I came across this severe photo of Cindy McCain (are there any other type?) and a thought occurred to me: if everyone had a pocket-sized version of this pic, we could have a utopian society. Think about it. Any moment you're contemplating cheating, slacking off, or being disrespectful, one look at this photo will completely change your mind. Sounds crazy, but it's true. Cindy's face is so harsh and judgmental, it's almost as if she's asking you — and only you — "OH REALLY?" How can one transgress in the presence of such matronly disdain?
Examples after the jump.
I know this concept is a bit strange to most of you; so here are some examples of what I'm talking about. Take, for instance, me on a typical day. Watch the way Cindy keeps me on the straight and narrow:
"Man, I'm just going to sit back and spend my day watching TV. That's right, nothing but mindless entertainment for hours on end."
"EXCUSE ME?"
"No! No! I mean... I'm gonna go be an active member of society!!!"
"That's what I thought you said..."
"Oh yes. But before I do that, I'm gonna have this candy bar. Mmmm... candy. That's all I'm gonna eat from now on."
"Candy?"
"No. I mean, I'm not going to eat candy. Because it's terrible. And should be banished. I'm so sorry. I'll only eat healthy, well-balanced meals! I SWEAR!"
"We'll see about that."
"Guess who's gettin' wasted this afternoon? BOOYA!!!"
"Oh really?"
"I'LL NEVER DRINK AGAIN, CINDY MCCAIN! Just please... please forgive me!"
"That's to be earned."
"You know what would be fun? Robbing a bank. Yeah, I'm gonna rob a bank. And then kill some puppies."
"Don't fuck with me."
"What? Robbing banks? That's outrageous! Obviously I would never suggest... that... ever... Is it hot in here?"
So as you can see, the mere thought of Cindy McCain is enough to scare the shit out of anyone even toying with the idea of doing something bad. She's not to be messed with, people.
Oh, B-Side, you slay me! You have quite the acting chops.
She is quite scary.
On a slightly different subject - I couldn't help but notice the Trader Joe's bags. Might you be getting ready to attempt a new recipe? Please say it's so and please say you'd document the process. Thank you.
LOL That was brilliant!
and here I thought it might be her "come hither" look
2 Old 4 This -
I tend to think the looks are one and the same.
shudder
Poor John McCain
i love pictures of the stove.
do you think Cindy cooks?
hb
Loves it! Good think Cindy McCain didn't see your glass sitting NEXT TO the coaster on the coffee table. I think she might have saved a special look of consternation for that lapse.
All of this is pretty incongruous with her history as a pill head, huh?
Poor John McCain??!?!?? Have you seen what HE looks like??
By the way, we Arizonans were all issued those pictures of Cindy when McCain became a Senator. Those of us on the straight and narrow Arizona CAN'T WAIT for the rest of you to get with the program!
That last picture of you is almost freaky B! How DID you make your face do that?
Cindy McCain does not approve of this blog.
Darling, Are you unaware that Cindy is a long-term pill popper? She has an entire gated community as her permanent residence on Pill Hill, situated in the Valley of the Dolls.
Cannot wait for McCain to self-immolate when the press goes after his Stepford wife.
Thanks for the laugh this morning, B.
Is that a spongy-back-scrubber thingy on top your fridge?
Loooooved this post. Was J-Wahl taking the pictures? That would make it all the better. Well that, and us old followers of Tvgasm like to think the two of you only have one friend...each other (and maybe Kathy Conrad).
Also, I couldn't help but notice the amount of comments on your apartment. Is a B-side apartment tour post in order? And if so, will you say lame things like "this is where the magic happens"?
Wow, by J-Wahl I meant J-Unit...LB2 on the mind. Maybe it's because it's the 4th and people will be barbecuing this weekend?
That was hilarious. Cindy was probably quite the dish 20 years ago, although she definitely has that "Angela from 'The Office'" vibe about her, no question.
How unkind! Do you realize that Cindy McCain had a stroke only a couple of years ago and endured a long rehabilitation? Empathy is in order here, not derision.
I bet her cookies have bran or fiber in them, too. She does have a stern look about her.
What is all over your fridge?
b-side did you graduate from the Bruce Campbell school of acting?