Here's the photocap from last night. I had to abbreviate it though because I'm at an airport and about to board! Enjoy what I have so far!!
"I came into this house to do two things: win $500,000 and womanize as many people as possible, preferably while wearing this V-Neck."
"This vine is gettin' all up in my undahwears."
"I could really go for some wa-tah. It would restoah my powah."
"This better be over quickly. You never know when a sparrow might come flying by."
"My name's April, and I know how to handle desaturated colors. Now, Ollie, DO ME in the key slot."
"SCREW YOU, VINES!!!"
"Is that a bird down there? It is! It's a falcon! IT'S A FALCON!!! Oh wait, it's just a leaf."
"If I stay up here much longah, I'm gonna have to piss in my undahwears."
"I'll show all yous my stomach, but none of yous are gonna see my undahwears. None of yous!"
"I fuckin' hate that vine. I never should have fuckin' given it my fuckin' word. Fuuuuuuck you, VINE!"
"I want all yous to know that whoevah threw that ballon at my face is gonna get it in the kissah! Ain't none of yous safe!"
"The only reason I threw the balloon at Michelle is because it called me a womanizer. AND a bartender!"
"I'm gonna womanize this vine."
Keesha: "I'm so fuckin' SICK of this fuckin' competition!"
Michelle: "If aw-LEE doesn't win, I'm gonna crap my undahwears"
Renny: "You gals bettah not push me off this bench. It's INAPPROPRIATE!"
"Sorry Dan. I'm not making any deals until you promise to keep all crows, robins, and penguins away from the backyard."
"I told Ollie I would single-handedly strangle every parakeet in a three-mile radius."
"That's not a robot pigeon, is it? Oh, never mind. It's a camera."
Keesha: "I fuckin' hate this hoodie. I never should have given it my word."
Michelle: "Win the powah, aw-Lee. Win the powah!"
Renny: "Ollie win? YOU BETTA NOT!"
"And I want to save April too. It's not too late for that, right?"
"Hey Renny, check it out. I'm from the old country. I'm a babushka. Get it? Get it? Eh..."
"The only fuckin' thing I trust in this house is this fuckin' Triscuit. I'm taking it to the end."
"Dan gave yous what?? Did you crap your undahwears???"
"I don't like Dan's plan. It makes me just want to take all his shirts and rip them into v-necks!"
"UGH. Even the THOUGHT of all those Democrats together in Denver is making my head hurt."
"I gotta hand it to Dan, his offer was crazy. Like, Portuguese crazy. What a wicked pissah."
"MARY! ST. JOSEPH!! Answer mah question, Dan! It's like your brain is locked. IT'S LOCKED!!!"
"You know what? I thought I was in a fuckin' alliance with these fuckin' Triscuits, but then I saw fuckin' APRIL staring at them in her picture. So fuuuuuck you, Triscuits! I've fuckin' always hated you!!"
"I would never wear a shirt that says 'Taken.' But that's because I'm a WOMANIZER."
"Dan, I want you to be honest with me: is my v-neck a tad too small?"
"HOOOoonkk if you like my crotch."
"I don't know about all yous, but I think Jerry's crotch is wicked sexy. I bettah not you-know-what in my undahwears."
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First of all, there better be a flog coming up. :)
This competition was great. Seeing them slammed into the wall was priceless.
Don't tease us with a flog B-side. IT'S INAPPROPRIATE!
HOOOONK!
Brilliant! I can't tell you how much I enjoy your work.
My wife yelled from downstairs "what the hell are you laughing at!?!?"
Awesome job! ty
I have just found your recaps this year, and enjoy them very much, funniest thing I have read in a long time. The problem I have is, sometimes when I am doing something else, I think of some of your recaps and I start to giggle like an idiot, and I come dangerously close to crapping my undahwears.
Funny stuff, kudos!
I do the same thing Gina. LOL Bside, you keep me laughing all week long. Thanks!
Hi ... good effort; but honestly not all that funny.
B Side a little obsessed with underwear or what? Or is that all he can think of when he sees Michelle?
I thought it was high-larious! "Do me in the key slot" is an instant classic. Is it me or is this season turning into "the Dan Show"? To his credit, he went from being almost sacrificed at the altar of Brian to the key player week after week. But must he be sooooo annoying in his confessionals?
found yourstuff by accident. great top pic of that closeup of them on the vine. was that taken off tv? good job if it was!
This is so hilarious! You are so funny B-Side... I look forward to these every week!! Keep up the great work :o)
100% props to the Babushka reference.