This past weekend, the Food Network aired a brand new Semi Homemade Halloween special featuring our intrepid hostess Sandra Lee dressed in a variety of regal costumes as some sort of ode to the most memorable queens of history. As you can imagine, the results were eye-opening. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a busty Marie Antoinette preparing a pumpkin trifle.
Don’t get too excited though. Sandy only had a half an hour of airtime, which meant that when it came to queens, there was no love for the likes of Elizabeth II, Liliuokalani, and of course, Bruce Vilanch (heeyyyoooh!!!). Still, there were plenty of ridiculous costumes, and I’m only too happy to share them with you here.
Pics from the special after the jump…
First up: Anne Boleyn!
“IIII am going cook up something that’s gonna make you want to drop that beggel and cream cheese!”
The obligatory Boleyn-cleavage shot.
Just the way it used to be: Anne Boleyn tending to a deep fryer.
Sound the horns: Guinevere has arrived! And she’s making beef skewers!!
Guinevere also goes by her professional name, Chesty McCamelot.
Looks like somebody finally learned how to pronounce “focaccia!” (HINT: it’s not “fow-kasha.”)
“Let them eat cake… that I bought at the store and added crappy frosting to. Ta-da!!!”
Little known fact: before losing her head, Marie Antoinette was known for her love of canned pumpkin pie filling.
Is that… Tilda Swinton??
No, it’s just Sandra Lee preparing to show us a very Elizabethan tablescape.
Those metallic pumpkins mounted on candlesticks just seem to cry out “Early Modern England.”
Ooooh. A name tag with a piece of doily attached. Just like Windsor Castle!
Thanks, Sandra Lee. You never disappoint…
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I guess all the queens had big boobs.
Wow, I read this just after I read this:
http://storelocator.barnesandnoble.com/storedetail.do?store=2303
You should go!
I really love the Food Network blogs. That channel is comedy GOLD.
I wonder, who’s Robert Dudley? Whoever he is, Im sure he’s excited to see Sandra’s cleavage…err…I mean cake.
Robert Dudley was a favorite of Queen Elizabeth I. He was her Master of horse, the first Earl of Leicester and probably boinking her between the sheets. But then again maybe not as Elizabeth was known as “the Virgin Queen”.
thanks zevonia….I think it’s even more hillarious that Sandra invited Elizabeth’s ye olde possible booty call to her dinner LOL
The *Is that Tilda Swinton?* comment, well for me, that is the best joke of the year. I laughed so hard.
Oh my God! Yes, please do more Sandra Lee! I’ve stopped watching her show ages ago, but it’s nice to see that she’s still as batshit crazy as ever. I wonder how the camera guys hold the camera steady while they’re laughing they’re asses off. I mean really, that’s the only reason her show is still on right? Comedic value?
…the hell?? Who told her that this was a good idea? I am embarassed for her but jealous of her cleavage.
Oh, she’s horrible. She looked like a complete fucking clown in those schmattas.
lol
i miss the food network!