TOP CHEF PHOTOCAP: Crafty Cooking

The aspiring chefs of Top Chef were at it again last night, and this time, they had the daunting task of cooking in Tom Colicchio’s very own restaurant, Craft. Needless to say, there was plenty of choking, and not just the performance-based kind. Padma had to eject two different items of food from her mouth — first a bone from a poorly executed hot dog in the Quick Fire challenge and then later some all-too-sweet meringue, courtesy of Ariane (pronounced Aryan, like the mythical race). Poor Padma had it rough, but it was worth it to see her contorted face each time. She was so overdramatic, you’d think she’d just been shot in the stomach.
As for that Quick Fire challenge which had the contestants making their own variations on the classic hot dog, I need a bit of clarification on some things. First of all, did that woman with the hot dog cart actually make her dog from scratch? Or did she merely boil one that her company orders from a supplier? Because if the latter’s the case (as I suspect it is), then the chefs were totally held to a double standard, especially whats-her-face, who the judges harped on for using a store bought hot dog.
Secondly, exactly what constitutes a hot dog? What’s the line between sausage and dog? Some of those creations, while delicious, seemed more like wurst than weiner. Then again, maybe there is no distinction. This is why I’m asking questions. I need answers.
Lastly, why didn’t Stefan Richter get in touch with his German background (born in Finland, raised in Deutchland) and present a variation on currywurst, a deservedly popular street food in Berlin. For those not in the know, currywurst is essentially sliced sausage with a curried ketchup sauce on the side. Sounds simple, but it’s oh so good. Why it hasn’t caught on in the rest of the world is beyond me.
Nevertheless, onto the photocap…

“I’m made of clay!”

“Wow. Even I didn’t know I was on this show!”

“YOU WILL EAT MY HALIBUT, YA!”

“Queeeen, if I don’t nail this dessert, all my queens at home will be like ‘Queen, how you not nail that dessert? What sort of queen are you?’ And I’ll have to say, ‘Queen, please. My dessert was fit for a queen, and if queen can’t queen that, then queen off!’”

“You know what? I like you. NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY KITCHEN.”

“I don’t know who misplaced these deep fryer baskets, but I can tell you one thing: THERE’S GONNA BE A LOT OF FINGER POINTING!”

“Ehhhh, I dunno. I think my meringue martini is good, but you taste something so many times, it’s hard to say. If they don’t like it, they don’t like it. What am I gonna do? Lose sleep over it? Fuggetaboutit. It’s a cherry surprise!”

“Donatella, don’t feel any pressure to finish your plate. You can just give it to Gail. She’ll never let any food go to waste, bless her heart.”

“Wasn’t that lemon meringue martini the worst thing you’d ever tasted? Gail, I really respect your fortitude to eat three of them.”

Padma: “I’m sorry, we’ll just be another minute. My good friend Gail Simmons went out to get a bear claw.”

“Donatella, don’t look now, but Gail’s got some jelly on her chin. Isn’t it adorable?”

“Why is it so dark over here? I’m sure there’s gonna be PLENTY OF FINGER POINTING!”