BROMANCE PHOTOCAP: Takin' What Brody's Givin'

“You like that, Chris? You like it?”
“MORE! MORE!”

Bromance continues to be a surprisingly hilarious and entertaining hour — a perfect way to kick off Monday night television (at least on the West coast where it airs at 6 PM on Directv, followed by The City and then Gossip Girl. Like omg, best progression evah!). Anyway, this week’s episode was pretty much more of the same: silly activities teeming with unbridled homoeroticism. Making things more interesting, however, were the sheer number of tears shed as these guys opened up to Brody, each other, and America. Jered cried when he revealed that he missed his family and friends (it was sweet, but I’m not sure it qualified as soul-baring, as Brody said), Femi cried when asked why he was always the center of conflict, Chris P. cried when he flubbed a one-on-one meeting with the Brodester, and Gary cried when he felt bad for calling Femi fake. Hey, it’s perfectly normal for guys to have emotions and petty squabbles, but it doesn’t mean it’s not funny — especially on this show.
Anyway, after getting wasted at a vodka bar and puking all over a van, a yacht, and a little paper bag, Chris P. was sent off in a little Bro-boat, never to be heard from again. Too bad. He actually seemed like one of the better candidates, but apparently his nerves (and low tolerance) got the best of him. Onwards and upwards, men!

Gary’s excitement was short lived, however, when he found out that the buckets were not, as previously hoped, filled with Brody’s man fluids.

Femi: “Yo, I’m quick with this shit… like a dolphin. A dolphin that builds rafts.”

“Um, Brody, we accidentally boned each other. Does that mean we’re disqualified?”

“I guess what I’m trying to say to you, Brody, is that I love you more than maahhshmallows.”

“I am not fake, Gary. I’m real. Like a gazelle.”

“Now you, you’d I’d like to fuck.”

“I wonder if Brody will object to me going down on him RIGHT NOW.”

Awkwardness ensues when Jered goes for the mouth, but Brody only gives him the cheek.

“Listen, Gary, you hurt me, okay? I may have a thick shell like a turtle, but I’m really vulnerable like a bunny.”

“I’m gonna give Brody this bag of puke, and then he’ll see how much I love him. Oh Lord, please let him see…”

Brody: “Hey fellas, all I know is that there’s a whole lot of you sittin’ around, but my dick’s not being sucked. Ya dig?”

Brody: “Bros, part of being a true Bro is knowing how to woo the ladies, knowing how to be yourself, and knowing how to place an artful floral arrangement on an elimination table.”

“You know, even though Brody kicked me off his yacht, which he won from his VERY GOOD FRIEND, the Sultan of Brunei, I’m still fairly confident that when he comes to Kentucky next, we’re gonna hang out. And FUCK.”