So who else finished last night's episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County with a whole new set of wrinkles due to sixty straight minutes of cringing? Man, I thought last week was bad with the dinner from hell ("CUT!"), but this latest trip to the Del Mar race track brought awkwardness to awful new heights. Vicki and Tamra were absolutely horrendous — to the point where they actually made me like Lynne. I mean, I never really had a problem with Lynne — except that she tries to hard to be the "cool mom" (and is kind of amazingly tacky. And has awful fake boobs. But it's Orange County. That's just the way it is). Nevertheless, I actually liked Lynne a lot this episode because she was absolutely justified in her reactions to the "Mean Girls" — a.k.a. Tamra and Vicki. Those two women have to get over it. Vicki is just a nutcase; so in a way, I brush it off. Tamra, however, still seems locked in a major high school mentality. Her attempts to downplay her jealousy of Gretchen by calling the younger blonde a copycat were laughable — almost as laughable as her claim to Laurie that she's only catty when she's with the other housewives. This, of course, was followed by several catty comments about Jeana, Gretchen, and Vicki.
Nevertheless, watching Vicki and Tamra separate themselves from the group (and then wind up stewing in anger as the rest of the party had more fun) was fairly priceless. I liked their euphemistic description of Lynne as "low-key," as if that were somehow a bad thing. Of course, we all know that when they say "low-key," they really mean "outsider, not us, brunette, annoying, stupid, too loud, too quiet, alcoholic, drug-addicted BITCH." Anyway, Lynne fended off the haters pretty well, as did Gretchen, who managed to pull off the greatest passive-aggressive gesture of the episode: hoarding all the pink hats and then not wearing them. Oh, that pissed off Tamra. I have to admit, when Gretchen first stepped out of the limo at Del Mar in a beige hat, even I did a double take — we watched ten minutes of seemingly never-ending hot pink hat drama only to have it result in THIS? But then I saw the genius of it all, and watching Tamra in her fourth-choice hat gnash her teeth in rage was worth it all.
Man oh man. There was so much in this episode. I haven't even scratched the surface. I may have to watch it again. In the meantime, here's the photocap...
(Unfortunately, Bravo did not post many photos this week, and the ones they did post kind of sucked. Oh well. Send an angry email to Andy Cohen)
"These people are so entirely low class. Now excuse me while I jump on a boat and party at Lake Havasu."
"Well, aren't you so small and adorable!"
"Oh look. There's an ex-husband of mine. And an ex-boyfriend. And another ex-boyfriend. We're all great friends."
"Hahahaha! You know what else is funny, Tamra? Your fuckin' forty-one year-old sun damaged chest! Suck it, sister."
"Simon, this is an extremely important issue for me. Am I or am I not the hottest one here???"
"Hey Kara, check out the liberal hanging from the ceiling. Made ya look! Made ya look!"
"Oh no. My hat blew off. Could you get that for me, sweetie? And more importantly, do I still look seventeen?"
"This is my daughter's prom dress."
Vicki: "I'm rooting for the horse that works the hardest."
Gretchen: "I'm rooting for the horse that's the biggest flirt."
Lynne: "I'm rooting for the horse that looks the youngest."
Tamra: "I'm rooting for the horse that looks the hottest."
Jeana: "Well let me tell you: they're all gonna be turned into glue anyway."
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Great captions as usual!
Vickie needs to get on some meds, stat! And why does Donn stay with her--she SO rude to him.
I'm surprised they didn't have Gretchen showing off her new ring to the ladies... Oh wait, they can show that next week when Gretchen is hanging all over Tamara's son!!!!! Oh snap!
Lynne is starting to show in that 2nd to last pic. How exciting for her and her husband!
I always imagine that Vicki is Googleing herself on her laptop in the limo. Tap Tap Tap
I can't wait for next week to see if Gretchen and Tamra's son sucked face. Nugget.
The best part for me was Jenna talking about how happy horses love Del Mar. Ha.
hb
These women continue to top themselves with each episode.
I don't know who I like less, Tamara or Vicki. They are both equally hateful and tacky.
I agree, B-Side- I actually liked Gretchen last night. I appreciated her candor. It made me have some empathy for her.
I still can't get over the way Tamara and Vicki behaved. I hoped they watched that and were horrified. I bet, come the reunion, they have all kinds of excuses for their bad behavior.
Ooops, I didn't mean I liked Gretchen. I meant Lynne. Gretchen is almost as hideous as the other two. What is she doing on this show when her fiance' is dying? She disgusts me.
hb said "nugget."
I hate them all, but I can tolerate Gretchen and Lynne. I think Lynn's kids are going to wind up with massive eating disorders, though. I may have to rethink my opinion of Gretchen if she hooks up with Nugget's dad, but if she is doing it just to screw with Tamra, I might forgive her.
Jennifer90210-
That fucking CRACKED ME UP! Nugget's dad! Good one!
Jennifer30309 I had to comment on your comment "NUGGET'S DAD" too hilarious and I never post just love to read!!! BSIDE from now on you must reference Ryan as "NUGGET'S DAD"! And give props to Jennifer30309!!!
Genius Jennifer30309!!!!!
Your photo cap is so funny!
Vickie and Tamara are horrible people. Tamara looks like a duck now with all the procedures she has been having. Who does she think she is? We saw her friends from home last week. Common! She acts like she is royalty. I'm so sick of Vickie and her stupid lap top. It was really loud making that click sound. She is nuts.
I hate that they made me like Lynne too. I mean Lynne's not that bad, but her fake-ness and her need to be the size of her daughters is ridiculous. Act like a real mom for Rob's sake!
I love how Gretchen just gives it right back to them. How funny was it when the table they were ignoring was having more fun and they were pissed! Ha!
I really hope Gretchen doesn't make out with Nugget's Dad. Gross!
I think Jenna is over Vickie as well.
Vicki and Nugget's Grandma are the worst.
I hope Gretchen gave Tamara one of those pink hats for Christmas with a totally passive agressive note:
This hat really is best for YOUR complexion. Better late than never!
Thanks for the big ups, but really I just took HB's comment and ran with it. Let that be a lesson to you all: WWHBD?
I'm glad I'm not the only one who can't stand Vicki & Tamra. Seriously, Tamra is sooo jealous of Gretchen that I am embarrassed for her! Did she SERIOUSLY say in the limo that Gretchen was copycatting her b/c she wanted a pink bike? Get over yourself Tamra...you are NOT the hottest housewife in any county! And what exactly was Simon wearing to Del Mar? A pinstripe suit, red handkerchief and a horrible hat? It's not Halloween...
I love Gretchen...at least she makes the best of a situation and has fun. I don't think she'll hook up with Nugget's daddy, but I hope she does enough to piss off Tamra!
I also hope Jeanna is realizing what a nut job Vicki is and stays on the Gretchen/Lynne side. I feel like Lynne handled the situation really well, but I seriously doubt she will be back next season.
Oh, and I love how Lauri makes a guest appearance and says how Frankie is Jeanna's only friend...Lauri hates drama but has no problem gossiping? Mkay! Get a little more platic surgery there honey.