'American Idol' Has Its Top Thirty-Six! And The Results May Shock You...

I was by and large happy with the people who got to move on; although, the final battle between the two chubby blue collar dudes was less than enthralling. Does anyone really care about the welder? Or the roughneck? Sure, they've got good voices, but their lack of personality or star power is astounding. Plus, after all that discussion on which one to send home, they both got through! Great. Double the snoozing.

If we were gonna have a two-for-one deal, I would have much preferred poor Jamar to be joining his BFF Danny Gokey. I was shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, when he didn't get in. I just assumed he was moving forward. I was already preparing to launch a "Jamar is my favorite" campaign. But what did the judges do? They pulled the rug out from right underneath me. And him. And AMERICA. Seriously, I really didn't understand their rationale. Jamar was so self-possessed, confident, and likable. He was everything that so many of the male contestants usually never are. Plus he could sing! And yet the judges felt he didn't stand out? Whatchu talkin' about Willis? I can only hope that he returns next season.

Surely, I'd take Jamar over someone like Jorge Nunez-Mendez, who I've quietly loathed for some time now. Here's the thing with him: yes, he has a voice, but I hate his style of singing. I know he comes from the Marc Anthony school of impassioned vibrato and balladry, and I know that style is the norm for certain genres, but that being said, I still despise it. [I now pause to groan and roll my eyes] Plus, to make matters worse, Jorge is prone to wearing long, billowy scarves, a trait which can be almost as offensive as a bad haircut (see Adam Lambert).

The good news, however, is that almost all of my faves got through to the next round: the aforementioned Danny Gokey as well as Anoop Dawg, Anne Marie Boskovitch, Matt Giraud, and, that's right, Nick/Normund and Tatiana del Toro! Oh, I had such fears that those two oddballs would be shunned from the process, but lo and behold, they made it through! It takes some of the sting out of Jamar's elimination. (Plus, I know it will utterly ruffle the feathers of Entertainment Weekly's recapper, Michael Slekak).

Yes, massive oversights be damned, this is shaping up to be a great cast. There's only one problem: the producers have reverted back to the old semifinals format. No longer do we whittle down the cast each week. Instead, we build it up. The thirty six singers will take the stage in groups of twelve, and from each group, America will select three people to move forward. Then, at the end of three weeks, we'll have a Wild Card competition where the judges will select a trio of overlooked singers. I gotta say that I'm not totally sold on this format. What I liked about the old way was that we got to spend more time with the singers, which meant we became more invested in them. People like Bo Bice and Jason Castro were born in the semifinals, but alas, it appears those times are over.

I do concede that if you've got a lame crop like the past two seasons, the slow march to the winner's circle can feel epically long when you're stuck with the same duds week after week. Still, this year's contenders seem to have real potential, and it's a shame that certain personalities will barely get a chance to shine in the semifinals. Oh well. I suppose I shouldn't bash it until at least one week's worth of singers have gone through. With only three spots to fill, I'm thinking Tatiana's ride may be coming to an end very, very soon.

But for now, we'll just have to hope for the best. I have serious doubts about Tatiana's abilities to reach the top twelve, but man, if she does, we're gonna have a fun season. I fear that too many people loathe her though, which is truly a shame. American doesn't realize the comic gem they have sitting on their lap. I know everyone's concerned that she's going to be the second coming of Sanjaya, but the difference is that Sanjaya sucked through and through. He wasn't particularly funny, he couldn't sing, and he became cocky and self-aware, thus ruining whatever ironic amusement anyone could derive from him. Tatiana, however, can actually sing, and she's got plenty of personality to spare. Granted, it's all very annoying personality, but personality nonetheless. I'm sure everyone could hear her squealing throughout the Judges Mansion.

And let's speak about that Judges Mansion for a second. I wasn't necessarily opposed to it, but I kind of miss the Elevator of Shame. That nifty device offered more excitement than any of those oddly-lit promenades through the gardens and tacky hallways of this estate. Rather than drawn in by the drama, I found myself occasionally distracted by the mansion's stupid details — like all those creepy portraits lingering off to the side.

Speaking of distractions, the show's screwy timeline was a complete annoyance. Continuity is clearly not the show's forte. First I couldn't help feeling like the order of events we saw was completely different from the reality. We started off with Anoop Dawg, and yet time and time again, we'd see him sitting nervously in the crowd, leading me to believe that in actuality, he learned his fate sometime in the middle of the day. And as for those two guys at the end — I suspect that their showdown occurred sometime earlier in the evening. After all, if there was only one spot left — and that can't be changed — the judges really wouldn't have been able to take both men. Of course, there's the possibility that there were two slots left, in which case the judges knew all along what they wanted to do. I had a few other points on this subject, but I've realized I'm getting obsessed with minutia, and really, who the hell cares about sneaky production tricks. I'm ready to get this show on the road. Bring on group #1!!!

What did you think about the final cuts? And how do you feel about late news that lyrically-challenged Joanna Pacitti has been bumped from the competition already? I was kind of curious to see if she'd crumble under the pressure or finally live up to her potential. Oh well.