Last time on The Parsley Chronicles, I took drastic measures to save my ailing parsley plant by engaging in some painful, yet necessary pruning. The hope was to clear away the dead, bad vegetation and leave room for the few remaining bright spots to grow boundlessly. As a result, I was left with a near empty cup of soil, but all hope was not lost. I still had the Obama Sprout — a resilient, green sprout that seemed poised to restore life to its destitute environment.
Yes, it appeared as though a new era of verdant prosperity might be upon us soon, but as the days went by, I discovered that perhaps not even the Obama Sprout can take on the deadly forces of nature inside that God forsaken Ikea planter cup…
Here’s the Obama Sprout on Saturday night. It still seems relatively healthy, but I’m alarmed by the slight discoloration in the leaves.
I’ve been down this road before, and I don’t know if I have the strength to endure the loss of even the Obama Sprout.
The good news is that the Obama Sprout has, well, sprouted! That’s right, there’s a third leaf growing now. Maybe the slight discoloration is nothing at all!
The next day, however, things take a turn for the worst. One of the Obama Sprout leaves turns beige and curls inward.
Maybe that’s a thing with parsley. For every new leaf that grows, an old one must die! Makes perfect sense!
As you can see, there’s been little to no activity in the rest of the cup. Whatever tiny sprouts had been present earlier in the week were now completely gone.
Two days later, the Obama Sprout’s second leaf was starting to curl up a little too.
This can’t be happening…
Yesterday, the cup looked all but done.
Both formerly strong, proud leaves have crinkled up into pale ghosts of their former selves. Only one sprout remains.
The fate of the entire cup lies in this sprout’s hands, er, leaves.
Today.
The drooping nature of the Obama Sprout does not bode well.
So here we are. We finally made it to week twelve, and there’s nothing left in the cup except a few erect stalks (with no leaves) and an ailing sprout. The end is nigh, people. But I’m not pulling the plug until I know this plant is totally dead. For now, it’s kind of like a video game — you know, you’re at the final boss, you’ve got one heart left, and you know you’re doomed but you think maybe, just maybe, you might be able to beat him. Hey, sometimes it happens.
Will the parsley survive the week? Stay tuned…
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Don’t despair! That one sprout is strong, believe me. It’s just curling toward the sun, right??
Those leaves on the Obama Sprout are like the Baby Teeth of plants – they’re just temporary. Now your parsley has it’s adult teeth (or leaves, I guess)… That’s why this leaf actually looks like parsley.
I’m pulling for you, Obama Sprout! You hang in there, little guy!!
la diva latina bust out her bugle, please sing along
Fading light dims the sight
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright
From afar drawing nigh,
Falls the night.
Day is done, gone the sun
From the hills, from the lake, from the sky
All is well, safely rest;
God is nigh.
Then goodnight, peaceful night;
Till the light of the dawn shineth bright.
God is near, do not fear,
Friend, goodnight.
poor sprout, struggling to survive in a sea of mud.
have you considered in vitro fertilization?
i hear it’s all the rage.
hb
I think you’re over-watering, dude. Let Obama sprout dry its feet. It’s the only hope.
I was thinking maybe too much sun? I’m sorry that the plant isn’t doing as well as you hoped. How’s that for an Obama segue??
Your Obama sprout is “Biden” it’s time…
chick110 made me laugh.
Parsley cannot live on hope alone.
You’re hilarious. I have to say I tracked down your blog after loving your stuff on TVgasm (still sad that you left). Your blog’s great, but the thing that has me convinced it’s amazing was the Parsley Chronicles. Yes, it wasn’t the tv recaps (which are great) or the culinary adventures (which are almost as good as Top Chef). It was the posts about a parsley plant. Only you could make it exciting.
I’m with Rebecca. That soil looks awfully wet.
Zoobabe made me laugh.
Do you have drainage holes in the bottom of that thing?
I’m far too invested in the well-being of this plant.
B-side, I think you got some bad seeds. It’s not you – it’s the Parsley. It may be hard to walk to the trash can and dump these dried up little excuses for Parsley, but I think now is the time to let go….