My friends, my friends. This is a sad day indeed. Today marks the official end of The Parsley Chronicles. That’s right: my beloved parsley — the plant that could never be — finally ceased showing any signs of life today. The Obama Sprout, once a beacon of hope and prosperity, shriveled up and died, leaving no future for this once promising cup of life. Back in November when I started this experiment, I naturally assumed I’d be sitting here twelve weeks later with a lush bounty of herbal goodness on my window sill, but alas, it appears such grandiose dreams are only for the misguided and homeless.
Now I’m left with just a quiet cup of soil — the ghosts of parsley sprouts lingering inside. It’s been an exciting journey for sure. There were those questionable first few weeks when it seemed like perhaps my seeds would never bear fruit. Then there was the exciting month of December when a verdant fomentation took hold of the cup. And, of course, there was the sudden White Plague that gripped the plant in the new year — a mysterious ailment that turned all the leaves pale and withered them down to the dirt from whence they came. I’ll never know what went wrong with my little guys, but I refuse to take any responsibility in their demise. I was good farmer, I tell you. If anything, the blame lies squarely with Ikea for providing substandard specimens. Need proof? The same exact thing happened to my friend Jash’s Ikea basil. Part of me thinks I should get my money back from the Swedish home furnishing giant. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. And I’ll lead a crusade on behalf of all the other well-intentioned customers who found themselves with dysfunctional seeds. My life’s mission has now become so clear. Yes, I’m going to be the Erin Brockovitch of minor horticultural woes.
In the meantime, let’s take a look at the final days of the parsley. Some tearjerking photos after the jump, as well as a tribute video that you all ought to see.
In an effort to save the Obama Sprout from certain death, I pruned its dead leaves, but alas, the drooping continued.
Aside from a few resilient stalks, prospects for life in the parsley cup were rapidly diminishing…
A funereal storm front appropriately swept into town, almost on cue.
It was time to face the inevitable…
The parsley had run its course.
No amount of doting could bring it back.
It was a good run.
But ultimately, this parsley was a colossal FAIL.
Smell ya later!
So this brings an end to The Parsley Chronicles, but fear not. Based on the strong feedback I received from the readers, I’m confident the series will be back for season two. In the meantime, please enjoy this retrospective:
SATURDAY IN LOS ANGELES: Hiking, Food, and Ellen Pompeo
ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Jalapeño Cocktail Hour
Inception, As Told By The Real Housewives
REAL HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Once Again, The Reunion As Told By Shot Glasses
ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Eat Your Feelings Edition
ADVENTURES IN FOLKSY AUTUMNAL ACTIVITIES: Bloggers of the Corn Edition
Scenes From E3 2010 (Or, Embarrassing Pictures of Me Dancing)
REAL HOUSEWIVES REUNION PHOTOCAP: Yup, They’re Still Crazy!
Journey To The Corpse Flower
"EAT MY BLOG" Charity Bake Sale Descends On Hollywood This Weekend
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LynnB (9)
La Güerita (7)
rhnjnomore (7)
honeybunny (6)
Nikki (5)
Anni (4)
jennifer30309 (4)
Kelly (4)
MissMakin (4)
B-Side, I think you need to put a call out to see if ANYone has had one of these all-in-one pot things go right. I’ve had several failures and thought it was just me (last summer I’d hoped to get a full salad garden from a Smith & Hawken kit I bought at Target). Your chronicle makes me feel better about my own brown thumbs, if nothing else.
God, you are just a freak!
B-Side, my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Is the family accepting flowers (herbs?), or do you prefer that we make donations in the name of the deceased?
OMG! My heart goes out to you in this time of sorrow. How I’ll miss the parsely saga.
By the way, Whole foods sells huge bunches of parsley at a resonable price.
I can’t believe you made a video!! HAHAHAHA YOU ARE SO WEIRD!!!!!!!!!
- Sammie
From the time I saw the title of this post, my heart wept. I needed a tissue by the end of the video. I can’t believe this season ended so soon but I eagerly await the new season.
At least your GSN rubber ball was there until the end.
RIP Parsley!
Love the video. Brilliant. And I think I’m going to have to head up to Ikea this weekend and try growing some herbs just to see if I can…
I am so sad. I have a kit to grow flowers from Florence that I received as a Christmas gift and I am petrified of starting them after the sad chronicles.
every time she sang the words….”didn’t we almost have it all”. i could not stop myself from breaking down into peals of laughter. good stuff.
i so feel the need to submit this to digg.
Why is there a couple of ladders on the rooftop next to your building?
Plants can be cruel. They have no idea the emotional roller coaster they put us through. Too much water – not enough water. Too much sun – not enough sun. ACK. My plant love tank is empty.
hb
if only your Obama sprout would have had a Michelle sprout to be fruitful and multiply with, maybe things would have turned out differently. I blame your plant’s demise on that bitch Sarah Palin. She enjoys killing things.
sorry for your loss B.
I’m wiping away tears as I type. Farewell, brave parsley, farewell.
I sent this link to my sister, in hopes that she not get too emotionally invested with her own herb garden.
On the other hand, my nurse and I cried laughing at the video.
For what it’s worth, it looks like you over-watered it.