'Housewife' Kelly Killoren Bensimone Arrested — And Not For Being Criminally Boring

It appears as though another lovelorn couple has fallen off the horse at the metaphorical Hamptons Classic. Kelly Killoren Bensimone, a.k.a. THE SOCIALIZER a.k.a. the boring new cast member of The Real Housewives of New York City has been arrested for punching her ex-fiancé, Nick Stefanov, in the face in what we can only imagine was the most personality-free beating of all time. Nevertheless, we don’t know much about the incident except that Stefanov allegedly complained that the injuries he sustained were worse than anything Rihanna had endured. Sounds like a dubious claim at most, but perhaps he’s trying to land a spot on Oprah’s upcoming domestic violence super bonanza airing this week. As for Kelly, she’s denied the allegations, and for all we know, even if she had battered her man, it was probably just her attempt to give him a young-old face to match her own. So really, it was out of love.
• BEAU: I GOT A ‘WIFE’ BEATING [New York Post]