CHENBOT READY TO MULTIPLY: Julie Chen Is Preggers!

Phase 2 of Julie Chen’s global domination has now been set into motion. Our favorite mechanical hostess has proven that robots can indeed reproduce, thus signaling the death knell for all human civilization. But while Skynet prepares to model an entire predatory series of machines after The Chenbot, we can take this time to congratulate Julie on her pregnancy, which she revealed on this morning’s Early Show. I can only wonder how this will affect her work on Big Brother. Will she proudly reveal her bump in a series of slinky, bright orange maternity pantsuits? Or will she attempt to hide it with a variety of pillows, baggy jackets, and shopping bags à la Kelly Rutherford on Gossip Girl. And what role, pray tell, will her raging hormones play? I can already imagine her chucking porcelain mugs at her assistant, snapping, “This isn’t what I asked for! Stripey, where the HELL is my Ecto Cooler!?!?!!” (her assistant is named Stripey, lest you forget, because he always wore a striped shirt each time I attended a live taping.)
I also have concern about how the pregnancy might affect Julie’s ability to do her patented lean-forward, shake-hands move at the end of every Big Brother interview. Since her due date is October 4th, by the time we hit the later weeks of the BB season, she’ll be quite pear-shaped. The lean-forward, shake-hands move will be rather difficult for her. I predict copious amounts of grunting, groaning and the occasional utterance of “My sciatica!” Can’t wait!
Thanks to all the readers who gave me a heads up on this story…
US Magazine:Early Show’s Julie Chen Expecting First Child