Gay Pool Party Saga Takes An Intriguing, Oiled-Up Turn

There’s been scandal brewing in IndianJones’s apartment building. First a letter went up from the manager Tatyana complaining about a bunch of irascible gay youths in the pool after hours. Then a second letter went up from Tatyana, saying that the first letter was a fake and that her name should not be used in vain. So which cold and calculating person could possibly be setting up Tatyana for the fall? Meet Suspect A: an oiled-up lass in a candy cane (!) bikini that IndianJones spotted by the pool from his window. Sure, she looks all innocent and melanoma-ready, but I’m starting to think she could be at the heart of this scandal. Take a look at the evidence:
1) She’s got the motive! Clearly this woman likes her pool time. The last thing she needs is a bunch of loud gay guys ruining her peace. Besides, what if they spread their AIDS in the water? Not cool.
2) She and Tatyana are clearly enemies. It’s basic girl principle: heavyset older women simply cannot be friends with younger attractive women. Tatyana most likely resents this girl for her youth and figure. The girl resents Tatyana for charging her rent and giving her nasty looks.
It’s all so obvious: scare the gays off, claim the pool for herself, and let Tatyana take the blame. A perfect crime.
Or, of course, there’s the other explanation: she’s just a girl by the pool who has nothing to do with anything. I choose not to believe that. Either way, IndianJones got his jollies today, and that’s all that really matters.