These reunions just keep getting better. The Real Housewives of New York City descended on Wall Street last night for part one of their vociferous, catty showdown, and to say that tempers flared would be an understatement. Moderator Andy Cohen proved to be more inept than usual as he demonstrated a near inability to control the likes of Ramona, LuAnn, Jill, and all the other high strung ladies in attendance. He seemed visibly miffed at one point when Ramona pulled his cue cards out of his hands, and later he was totally flummoxed in his attempts to silence the action before the crew was the break for lunch. In short, it was a disaster for him, but a godsend to us because let’s face it Ã¢â‚¬â€Ã‚Â any Watch What Happens special where Andy is relegated to the sidelines is fine by me (and let’s give him three cheers for finally mastering the art of buttoning up his shirt).
As for the rest of the show, there’s not much I feel like I can add. Everything really spoke for itself. Ramona proved to be as crazy as usual, Jill continued to be a master instigator/maternal figure, and Kelly was just as fake and strange as ever. I suppose if I had to pick a favorite moment (of which there were many), I’d call it a tie between Ramona defending her paper-thin lie about shunning Silex’s party in favor of food (“I don’t eat in Brooklyn, OKAY?”) or LuAnn breaking the tension after Kelly’s breakdown by saying, “Well, he’s certainly NOT a gentleman!” But truth be told, you could pretty much advance the tape to any random timeframe and wind up on a gem of a line. Great, great fun. And we still have more on Thursday! YAY!
Ramona: “She said I was older than the telephone. Who was I to know she wasn’t being literal? Because let me tell you, Jill, I am most certainly not older than the telephone, and I have the records to prove it.”
“Ramona, the fact that you would say these things within a fifty-block radius of the Cancer Society is appalling to me. I mean, not near the Cancer Society! NEVER NEAR THE CANCER SOCIETY!!!”
“Get that goddamn camera out of my face before I destroy it with my Countess Dagger.”
LuAnn: “I’d like to take this moment to profess my deep love for Mallomars.”
“Feel like coming back to my sex aquarium? Tonight I’m gonna dress up Simon like a baleen whale and do him in the blow hole.”
Kelly: “I don’t understand why you’d cry over a boy, Bethenny. You’re awesome! Granted, you’re still down THERE, and I’m still up here, but for your station in life, you’re great!”
Jill: “I’m telling you, Bawwwbby’s penis is THIS big!”
Bethenny: “I wonder if that lighting guy up there will date me…”
LuAnn: “So you see, she’s an Ethiopian Princess, yes, but she has no book deal. I mean, Class with the Princess? I don’t think so, my love.”
Ramona: “SO WHAT? I LIKE DANNY GOKEY? THAT’S WRONG NOW?”
Bethenny and Jill: “You don’t even know who he IS!!!!!”
Ramona: “I’ve heard his music many times, and listen, I grew up in a terrible household, and my father would never let me listen to Danny Gokey; so now I listen to him, and I feel very independent.”
Jill: “Gokey wasn’t even ALIVE when you were a child?”
“So you DO think I’m older than the telephone!”
What did you think about the reunion? And how psyched are you for tomorrow night’s sequel??