BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Someone Needs To Shake Up This High School


It’s sad that the only way I can seem to do photocaps these days is if I wait for the one time a week when CBS posts pics from the HOH’s digital camera. Alas, that’s the best we can get; so I guess I’ll make the most of it. Actually, there are some amusing trends when it comes to these HOH pics. When Jessie is in power, most of the pictures tend to be of him flexing his muscles or hoisting people over his head. There are, of course, pictures of other people, but they too tend to be making silly poses and/or showing off their guns, which leads me to believe that Jessie must be prompting them from behind the camera. I guess there’s nothing wrong with that, but I can imagine that Jessie must think its a riot every time he commands a fellow houseguest to flex their glutes (Russell, it would seem, requires no prompting though).
Anyway, pictures be damned, there’s a lot to discuss in Big Brother these days. It seems as though the Athletes really are running the show, but that’s really only because their opponents don’t appear to have any ability to shake up the game with some old fashioned scheming. The single biggest error that contestants or alliances make is that they become complacent and simply assume a certain outcome will follow. There’s really no better example than the joint brain trust of Jeff, Jordan, Michele, and Casey, who simply assumed that Ronnie would go up as a replacement nominee during the Veto ceremony. Sure, Jessie may have alluded to that, but in Big Brother, no one’s word can be taken at face value. The key is to ensure that the outcome works your way. Had it been me, I would have started several rumors about Ronnie targeting Jessie — enough to make him paranoid and place the rotund videogamer on the chopping block. Casey, who sniffed out that something was afoot and then later discovered that he may be a target, should have instantly brewed up trouble. Instead, he just made a lot of noise in his fake ‘hood accent — ultimately accomplishing nothing.
That’s sort of the problem with this season, it turns out. After a fiery first week and an interesting second one, I’m starting to fear that these people might not be shrewd enough or crazy enough to deliver the sort of sustained highs and good times we saw last season. True, the show is young, but there is a lacking quality that has emerged. I actually pin it on casting. There’s a major lack of crazy mommies (Libra), middle-aged ladies (Sheila), and old coots (Renny, Jerry). Variety in ages makes a huge difference, and while marketing may suggest that a younger cast is better, I think we all know that having a generational mix is the way to go. Still, the game is young, and good cast or bad, we all know it’s gonna start ramping up soon.
In the meantime, pictures…

“Being the active eighteen-year-old that I am, it’s important that I get plenty of sleep so that I can embrace my teenage years with full energy!”


Jeff: “I’m going to slurp the technotronic off of you!”
Jordan: “This is quarter past a crazy!”

Michele: “Just another lovely day in the pool.”
Jeff: “Spelled P-O-O-L-E. What? I’m not a good speller!”
Jordan: “What IS a clock anyway?”

Russell: “Oh look. My abs spontaneously all constricted when you took that photo.”

Jessie: “Oh look. My abs spontaneously all constricted when you took that photo.”

“Wooohoo! Time to party! P-A-A-R-V-T-I-N-Y!!! What? I’m not a good speller.”


“Gggnaaahhh!!! Tell my mother… I’m… not… a… good… speller!!!”

“Oh hi. I’m just here posin’. I’m like a poser. Hey, that’s a good nickname. I think I’ll call myself that. Shotgun Poser Russell the Love Muscle!”

Lydia: “Oh, I hope Jessie DOES ME in the Paul Frank tattoo!”

Natalie: “Wow. Lying in bed with a boy. I’m giddy, just as one might expect from an eighteen year old girl who has had limited interaction with the opposite sex — on account of her youth, WHICH I HAVE.”

Lydia: “Doesn’t my humpback look sexy on a horizontal plane?”

“We certainly showed Braden who’s the racist around here!”

“I love you, unicorn. We always have such great talks. I think it’s because you respect me so much.”

“WHAT? America hates us??? But we’re so deliberate with our personalities!!!!”

“We’re awful!”

Jessie: “Look over there!”
Kevin: “What is it?”
Lydia: “I don’t see anything.”
Jessie: “It’s a door.”
Kevin: “And?”
Jessie: “That’s it.”
Kevin: “Oh.”
Lydia: “DO ME.”

Kevin: “My goal this summer was to take one photo that would haunt me forever. Mission accomplished.”

Ronnie: “I wonder how I can be awful this week.”
Jessie: “I wonder what tin foil is made of.”

“Whoever drew all these awful doodles on my body when I was sleeping is gonna get it. Oh wait. They’re my tattoos. Never mind!”

“Get out of my face! I’m trying to sleep, and if you keep waking me up, I’m gonna punch you in the face, much as a petulant teenager such as myself would do. I’m just so impulsive and lacking in maturity, on account of my youth.”

11 replies on “BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Someone Needs To Shake Up This High School”

  1. I was wondering where you went!! I look forward to these more than the show this year lol.
    What a boring season so far….

  2. Are these people awful or what? Does Jesse actually think that America loves him because of his big muscles and personality? Ugh, I can’t stand him! Your photocaps are much more entertaining than the show this year. CBS ruined it for me when they brought Jesse back. I hope it gets better soon and they lose the cliques thing pronto.

  3. Jessie has lopsided abs. Every time I see Lydia, I can’t stop thinking how much semen she must have in her.

  4. These people. This game. This house.
    are boring.
    I’m a BB addict and I didn’t even get the feeds this year, and the show, I probably watch 10 minutes of each one. What a suck-egg cast.
    I was so glad when Jessie was not on my television. Except it didn’t take. Grodner sucks for thinking that he was a good choice. They should have had Brian, Cowboy and Chirpie, I mean Jessica just be on the show this year and had a couple of double evictions.
    I hate how they don’t know how to have fun or at least argue and upend the whole house, properly. I guess everyone is following Jessie’s lead, and he’s so fun, interesting and intellectual. NOT!!!!
    It’s so stupid that everyone just sits around. Where are the secret alliances, the multi promises, the 5 finger plans. Ugh, whatever.
    Glad you’re back B! You were missed.

  5. Let me tell ya, I have been reading you for a very, very long time. Before you were a blogebrity even. Nothing and I mean NOTHING has mad me laugh as hard as this:
    Ronnie: “I wonder how I can be awful this week.”
    Jessie: “I wonder what tin foil is made of.”
    Adore you B-side!

  6. Ewww Jessie’s abs are sick!
    I like everyone on the show.
    Except Natalie.
    I guess I’m too sweet.. :/
    Idunno but hey, I kinda wanted to do Braden.

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