The Best of IndianJones

The Los Angeles crew lost a vital member of its community today. And by vital, I mean “stocky, even-keeled, and generally assholish.” Yes, I’m talking about the beloved IndianJones, who is currently driving northward to the icy climes of San Francisco where he has taken a job with Internet giant Yahoo! (exclamation theirs, not mine). These will be trying times for our group (formerly called the Lametourage until very recently when we decided that The VC, or Vicious Circle, best describes our badinage and dynamic). Point is, without IndianJones, we lose that certain je ne sais quoi (ironic since he hates the French). Who’s gonna be the first one to tell us that a girl is fat? Who’s gonna come over and turn off the oven timer FOR NO GOOD REASON WHEN SOMETHING IS BAKING? And who’s gonna babble incessantly about the multi-faceted glories of Tom Brady? No one, I tell you. No one.
And so it was with a heavy heart that The VC said its goodbyes to IndianJones last night. Burgers, kir royales, and macaroons were had (followed by awkward hugging — IndianJones doesn’t like personal contact). However, just because IndianJones is gone doesn’t mean he’s forgotten. In honor of his two influential years here in Los Angeles, I’ve gone back through my archives and dug out the best IndianJones photos I could find (and let me tell you, compared to my iPhoto library, these are just the tip of the iceberg).
Enjoy, if you would, this tribute to the man, the myth, the Masshole.


IndianJones’s first visual appearance on the blog appeared on New Years ’08. Here he is jumping right into the middle of the shot as I tried to take a pic of the banner behind him. Claaaaaasssic IndianJones.


IndianJones ringing in 2008 by bustin’ a move.


A tribute to the Cat in the Hat? No, just IndianJones in a dunce cap.


One of many pictures of IndianJones cheering vociferously for Tawm Brady and the Patriots Nation (who later lost that year to the Giants, in case anyone forgot).


Another IndianJones staple: CRUMBS. He gets them everywhere.


A high point in IndianJones’s life (second only to seeing Tom Brady on an airplane once. True story). The two of us went to The Soup. Note the way IndianJones happily nuzzles up to Joel McHale’s shoulder.


Here’s IndianJones awkwardly smiling with a dude at a Mexican restaurant. He felt very uncomfortable, but we forced them together for this special moment. We also made IndianJones tip the guy too. It was awesome.


IndianJones tanning at the beach. Actually, he’s engaging in his favorite activity: napping.


IndianJones dressed as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle for Halloween. It all stemmed from that awful green vest he’s sporting. He actually wears that out of his apartment from time to time. Embarrassing.


Not a picture of IndianJones, but certainly one inspired by him. When I first made mention that I saw a bunch of birds eating bagels on the rooftop next door, IndianJones excitedly wrote to me, “PICTURE!” And so the legend of Joyce the seagull was born.


Not only was IndianJones a solid comic foil in our group, but he frequently provided interesting content – such as this photo of a note posted in his elevator. We still don’t know who those gay “jack asses” are, but we’re glad IndianJones brought this to our attention.


IndianJones engaging in one of his trademark moves: the eye roll.


And who can forget the great cornbread disaster of 2009? My Blondie Crumble came close to rivaling it, but ultimately, it’s the deliberate attempt at artistic creativity with the jalapeños that really puts this dish in a class of its own.


IndianJones captivated by the Patriots.


IndianJones and I pretending to cheer for something (but in fact it was nothing).


An explosion of joy directed at Tom Brady.


And lastly, IndianJones mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted from the roller coaster ride of the Patriots — and perhaps Los Angeles too.

Of course, I’m not the only one who will be missing IndianJones. I asked jash and Sly if they had anything to say about him too. Sly responded with “no.” Jash responded with, well, he didn’t respond. At least not by press time (will update if he does contribute any glowing words).
Update: Sly has provided this addendum: “dude, clearly i meant ‘no, my sense of loss is too great for words.'”
Update 2: From jash: “I don’t have much to say– he will be missed because he was the only other person in the vc who regularly employed fact-based decision making and his arguments were generally bound by rational thought–this combined with his business training made him a tremendous value-add to the upward emotional-based revenue stream dynamics of the vc. Plus he was sort of an asshole which made me come off marginally nicer than I am. Alas.”
So that’s it. Good luck up in San Fran, IndianJones. Your cheapness and shallow tastes will not be soon forgotten.

23 replies on “The Best of IndianJones”

  1. Sorry to see your friend go. He’s become a friend to your readers. Always tough to see friends move away.
    Best wishes for success in S.F. to Indian Jones!

  2. B, are you worried that IndianJones and J-Unit will re-form the Lametourage in San Francisco without you? If J-Unit took Water Bottle with him in the move, that could really spell trouble. And not the kind with a modern lop-sided haircut.

  3. RIP Indian Jones. Joyce the seagull will miss you.
    By the way, it is almost 90 degrees up in the Bay Area right now…not frigid in the least 😉

  4. I’ll miss you as well Indian Jones. Your pixellated face piqued my curiousity for many months. Even if you do love that douchenozzle Tom Brady.
    Enjoy San Fran!

  5. Thanks everyone!
    I’ll miss LA and the lametourage, though fear not, I will still be commenting on the blog.

  6. Meh. SF is better anyway. I’ll make frequent trips from Boston to document more baking fails and general douchebaggery.

  7. After reading this blog since its inception, how come I never noticed before that its not IndianaJones? I feel so dumb

  8. “An explosion of joy directed at Tom Brady.” And it looks like it is shooting out of his belly button.
    Safe travels. I know that LA will miss your hotness.

  9. LOL – I’ve been reading this almost from the beginning (old tvgasm fan, but I don’t post usually), and I, too, always read Indiana Jones! Doh!

  10. Why is his face pixilated? Does he have a bench warrant? Or is he hiding from his baby’s mama? He still looks fuckable.

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