In case you haven’t noticed, there have been no updates on this site for the past week. That’s because I had to go back to New York for a family thing. Now I’m en route back to Los Angeles, and what better way to return to blogging than by turning to last night’s episode of The City. It was a Kelly Cutrone masterclass — full of angry rants about pens, boys, and hotel bills. While last week’s Fackelmayer frenzy was highly enjoyable stuff, nothing compares to Lady Cutrone when she’s seething like a cornered snake.
Kelly had good reason to be annoyed this episode. Not only did Roxy forget to bring a pen to the meeting, but she also rang up a $200 room service bill. Her biggest offense, however, was arguing with Whitney backstage at a fashion show. Major no-no. Even worse was that Whit Whit got stuck sharing the blame for the unprofessional spat. It makes sense; after all, it does take two to tango. But we all know Roxy is the problem here. Bitch will get hers soon enough. And when the HELL is she landing her own apartment?
Meanwhile, in Elle world, Olivia once again messed up, and yet again, Erin bore the brunt of Joe Zee’s smiley, singsongy wrath when he accused her of not teaching Olivia the ropes. Truth is both girls are at fault: Olivia is spoiled, Erin vindictive. Not a healthy work environment. But great TV! Damn, I love this show.
After the jump, a photocap!
“So I only have one rule: don’t ring up a room service bill on MY tab.”
“Okay, so… ring up a bill on your tab. Got it!”
“And so help me God if I find one of you without a pen. Your ass will be mine. Literally, I will chop it off and serve it to my book club as an hors d’oeuvre. And yes, I’m in a book club. It’s for power bitches. And the undead. Luckily, I happen to be both.”
Joe: “Hey Olivia. LOVE what you’re wearing!”
“It’s very cute. VERY!”
“I know the designer personally. He calls me all the time.”
“GREAT! Well, the reason I called you in–“
“The designer sometimes sends me e-cards too. But I don’t care for them.”
“The last one he sent had a dancing penguin. I found it abrasive.”
“Oh, okay, well–“
“But it’s truly a testament to me knowing him, which I do.”
“And who is he?”
“I don’t really know.”
“So… about that last incident. I’d like to chalk that up to being a learning experience. I should also note, however, that I’m a very slow learner. Some say I’m incapable of retaining any information at all. But that’s okay, right?”
Whitney: “I guess what I’m trying to say is that you’re kind of standing in my personal space.”
“Loosen up, Whit! 9 inches is the new 1.5 feet!”
“Roxy, this is my friend Nick. He likes to dance alone to Ace of Base.”
Nick: “You’re amazing. And I base that solely on your willingness to talk to me.”
“I miss Freddy. I wish he would fuckelmayer me.”
Whitney: “I really love this job, but mostly because I LOVE folding chairs, and look, they’re all around us!! DCT! That means ‘Dream come true.'”
“Roxy, you clearly left me. It’s all on tape. There were cameras.”
“Wait, this is a reality show? But won’t this conflict with my Brothers and Sisters obligations??”
“I don’t know what you two idiots are fighting about, but unless it has to do with slaughtering goats and drinking their blood, I don’t want to hear it!”
Kelly: “After this show, I’m going to abduct a model and eat her flesh.”
“So Olivia, tell me how you screwed up this week. LOVE your dress!”
“Well, I didn’t go to any of the fashion shows and exerted as little energy as possible. I think you’ll find I performed beyond expectations.”
“This is totally unacceptable. LOVE the ring though!”
“Oh that? It’s just a trifle my very dear friend Henry Ringmaker made for me. He’s very dear to me.”
“For the record, I don’t think you’re ring is cute.”
“Well maybe you should hire someone who does. I’m not putting on these rings to not be appreciated.”
“I don’t want any of this bickering. You’re stronger as a team. And as such, here are your roles: Olivia, you act incompetent. Erin, you take the blame. Great!”
What did you think about this week’s episode?