This week, oft surgically enhanced reality star Heidi Montag revealed that she’s completely addicted to plastic surgery, going so far as to get ten different procedures in one day late last year. The pictures are shocking to many, as the new, soulless creature staring back at us seems hardly like the Heidi we know and love. It’s jarring, yes, but I cannot fault Heidi for going through with the alterations. That’s because I know her pain all too well. Much like Ms. Montag, I too am highly addicted to plastic surgery, and recently I went under the knife for some touch-ups as well. The results might be surprising to you, but I couldn’t be happier. At long last, I feel like I’m almost perfect, and maybe with a few more nips and tucks over the next five or thirty years, I can finally achieve that body I’ve always craved. It feels good; nay, it feels American.
Pictures of my transformation (swan alert!!) after the jump…
Check it out, y’all!
At last, I can go to sleep knowing that I sort of have a little more confidence, but not really because that gaping hole of insecurities will never be closed or healed, no matter how many more surgeries I have. Life is good. Life… is good.
SATURDAY IN LOS ANGELES: Hiking, Food, and Ellen Pompeo
ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Jalapeño Cocktail Hour
Inception, As Told By The Real Housewives
REAL HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Once Again, The Reunion As Told By Shot Glasses
ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Eat Your Feelings Edition
ADVENTURES IN FOLKSY AUTUMNAL ACTIVITIES: Bloggers of the Corn Edition
Scenes From E3 2010 (Or, Embarrassing Pictures of Me Dancing)
REAL HOUSEWIVES REUNION PHOTOCAP: Yup, They’re Still Crazy!
Journey To The Corpse Flower
"EAT MY BLOG" Charity Bake Sale Descends On Hollywood This Weekend
bonbon (13)
LynnB (9)
La Güerita (7)
rhnjnomore (7)
honeybunny (6)
Nikki (5)
Anni (4)
jennifer30309 (4)
Kelly (4)
MissMakin (4)
Stop it! You’re killing me!!!
her boobs are so ridiculous for her frame. Makes me appreciate the Jersey Shore girls, who while they are sensitive about their weight, are not interested in being the thinnest bitches on the planet.
I really think you still need to work on your elbows, they are holding you back.
Maybe it’s the cynic in me, but I think she only had the plastic surgery just to call People magazine to tell them she was addicted to it. She looked better before she had it done, now she looks ridiculous.
B, it looks like you rubbed your nipples off. I cant stop staring.
The ‘After’ you looks like John Mayer.
hb
Heidi’s boobs are ridiculous.
I agree with HB-after does look like John Mayer.
She doesn’t even look like the same person anymore. When she has kids she will regret all of this because they won’t even look like ‘her’…
She’s just going to join all of the other celebrities that no longer look like themselves, i.e., Phyllis Diller, Kenny Rogers, Joan Rivers, etc. Hopefully she won’t go full Wacko Jacko, but with her, you never know.
While I was waiting for my comment to appear, I also stared at your breasts area. It looks strangely like a powerpuff girl or Hoots the Owl…
hb, he does look like John Meyer. A sad sad John Meyer.
I am officialy done with the idiots that are Spencer and Heidi. Lauren must be laughing her ass off.
effing fantastic b side!
The People cover is Heidi’s first without mention of The Hills or LC. Scarey.
I’m glad you didn’t really do it B. The “after” eyes look like one of those sad animal pictures. And not only did you remove your nipples, but if you had pecs under there, you rubbed those out too!
you also seemed to have reduced your “package”. Tsk, tsk.
you also seemed to have reduced your “package”.
Maybe that was part of the John Mayer look-a-like package.
RWD- you’ve seen John Mayer’s package? Do tell.
Well hello, Donny Osmond.
personally, I think she just went from being a unique beauty to a generic beauty. Still pretty, but…. virtually featureless, so to speak.
It was great! you were more gorgeous. Does it feels good?
plastic surgery humor http://plasticsergeant.com/humor
asians like to have rhinoplasty because they want taller and thinner noses.`’-