24 RECAP: Girls Gone Wild!

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24 has been on a roll. After last week’s heart-pounding episode, FOX delivered us yet another gripping installment that left me wanting to grab a megaphone and yell over Los Angeles “HOLY CRAP DID YOU SEE THAT??” I must admit that I was curious to see how the producers could come up with a second top-notch ep in a row, but when I received an email from IndianJones at 10 PM simply saying “oh. em. gee,” I knew I’d be in for a treat.


Basically, last night’s episode came down to a whole bunch of ladies acting like crazy maniacs. No complaints from me. For some reason, 24 seems to operate best when its female characters are going off the deep-end. Sherry Palmer, anyone? (Or must I cite Renee Walker yet again? Because I will. I most certainly will). Anyway, we had some bona fide cray cray action going on, more so than what was indicated by the Directv episode description, which merely stated that “Dana and Chloe make significant moves.” Significant moves? SIGNIFICANT MOVES??
DANA BLOODY MURDERED SOMEONE AND SHOVED HIS BODY INTO A WALL PANEL!
Yes, just when I thought Renee Walker had cornered the market on homicidal rage, here come Dana Walsh up and strangling to death that parole officer, which admittedly was a welcome move, but perhaps a bit too severe. After all, couldn’t she just deny, deny deny? The evidence was all gone. The officer would have nothing on her. Was murder truly the best course of action? And wouldn’t that lead to further questions and inquiries? And weren’t her fingerprints and DNA all over the dead body? This was the most incredulous turn of events ever. Why would Dana do such a thing?
Well, I’ll tell you why. She’s a mother effin’ MOLE! MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY!
As in, when she goes to a Mexican restaurant, she orders the chicken MOLÉ with extra MOLÉ on the side! As in, her favorite Simpsons character is Hans MOLEman. As in, if she had to choose any rodent to be her favorite, it would be a MOLE!!!
I think you get the point.
(This, I believe, was the source of IndianJones’s “oh. em. gee.”)
Anyway, turns out Dana is working with the terrorists, which is why it was so damn important for her to dispose of Kevin and his parole officer. It wasn’t just about unearthing her past. It was about blowing her cover. Ahhhhhhh…. now it all makes sense. I gotta hand it to the producers for totally blindsiding me with this one. It’s not that I hadn’t ever contemplated Dana being a mole — I think any 24 fan always questions the motives of ANY new character. I think what was so shocking was the way this development was revealed to us. There we were, watching Dana stuffing the parole officer’s chubby body into a wall (literally, INTO a wall) when the screen split into four or five panels, thus alerting us that our final twist was just a heartbeat away. We returned to Dana, and I immediately began running the scenarios through my mind: the security camera was on! Someone was gonna walk in! The parole officer was really alive and was about to shoot her in the back!
However, it was none of those things. Instead, Dana called up Samir (the non-Tarin terrorist) and gave him an update on CTU surveillance capabilities. The combination of this phone call being totally random mixed with the fact that Dana had previously been so incredibly tangential to anything going on left my jaw a-dropped. THAT BITCH!
Ah, but I love a good mole story. Last season, we had that guy (Billy Walsh from Entourage) with his flighty girlfriend (who he totally shanked, asshole). That was a fun development, but once his duplicity was revealed to the audience, the producers got rid of him pretty quickly. I’m hoping that this time, Dana will go undetected for many more episodes. Drawing it out could lead to some great, great excitement. I’m giddy just to see what’ll happen. Who would have thunk it? Dana Walsh — parading around like a good guy when she’s really bad. It’s like she’s a CYLON or something.
Meanwhile, Dana wasn’t the only one acting nutty. Chloe returned to her prickly roots when she took on the NSA with her plans to magically get the CTU computers up and running again. You see, for those who may have forgotten, an EMP went off in the CTU driveway, sending a electro-magnetic pulse that fried all the electrical equipment (except, somehow, the emergency lights) in the building. This meant that all cell phones, computers, and microwaves in the CTU employee lounge were totally fried (thus allowing the terrorists to sneak into Manhattan undetected). Well, the NSA showed up (rather quickly, considering it was around four in the morning) and began tinkering away in an effort to get CTU back online. The only problem was that this process was slated to take a very long time, and our old boy Jack was out in the field with Cole, possibly in trouble! This perturbed Chloe greatly; so she came up with an alternate but dangerous plan to tap into the “trunk line” (huh?) which would miraculously return most systems to normal. How? I don’t know. This was one of those just-nod-your-head-and-go-along-with-it moments.
Well, the asshole leading the NSA team was not about to have Chloe try her little plan. Apparently the risk of electrocution was too great. I didn’t really understand this. Was Chloe about to gnaw on a power line or something? Either way, her devotion to Jack was too strong. Chloe suddenly aimed a gun at the NSA guy and kicked him out of the server room, ultimately locking herself in there alone to take care of bidness. As has been observed in previous seasons, Chloe + firearms = awesome.
Surely I thought this would result in some sort of tense scenario with Chloe racing to plug into the trunk line, all while avoiding electrocution and hoping Hastings et al. wouldn’t be able to unlock the door. But no. About two minutes later, the CTU technicians managed to bust into the server room, and bring the entire operation to a halt. There were some tense words, but luckily, Chloe managed to get Hastings to sign off on her cockamamie idea, and she soon got back to work. Now things were gonna get really tense, right? I could see it now: Chloe carefully concentrating, connecting wires and avoiding the scary electrocution that had been hyped up all episode.
Eh, not so much.
Instead, there was a small sparking, but aside from that, all systems were a go! Okay, who needs drama anyway? The good news was that had Chloe’s plan failed, she did have a backup option. Earlier in the ep, she had called up Renee Walker to alert her that Jack was in trouble somewhere in Brooklyn, specifically near Williamsburg. I couldn’t imagine what sort of chaos Jack had encountered there. A mob of angry hipsters rioting against a shortage of skinny jeans? Nah. Rioting would take too much energy. Maybe Jack just got stuck in a dense line of people waiting to see Ariel Pink or the Dirty Projectors.
Actually, if I had to choose between encountering Williamsburg hipsters or gun-toting terrorists, I’d go with the latter option. Sure, they’re more deadly, but not nearly as insufferable. And as it turns out, Jack was indeed tangling with some snipers on the waterfront. Thanks to another brilliant hunch, Jack had steered his SUV right into the Samir and Tarin’s loading dock, and soon the Federal agents were under attack. Amazingly, however, Jack’s unflinching ability to shoot anyone dead from any position failed him immensely. He and Cole (and that babyfaced guy and some other douche agent) wound up shooting back and forth with the baddies for forty-five minutes to no effect. At one point, Jack dismantled part of his armored SUV, and the four agents attempted to cross a wide open space to reach a landline (with which they could call CTU and let them know what was going on — their cell phones were jammed). However, that one douche agent screwed everything up by making a dash for it, thus getting shot in the process. This meant that Jack, Cole, and Owen (babyfaced guy) had to run behind some shipping crates and reassess their plan. Things continued to go downhill from there though. Poor little Owen couldn’t bear to see his comrade dying on the ground. He just needed to save him. He needed to! Ah, to be young and idiotic.
Sure enough, Owen scampered out into harm’s way to grab the guy’s body, and guess what? The twerp got shot in the neck. GREAT. Now Jack and Cole had to dart out into the open and bring back BOTH bodies, all while dodging bullets (which they did) and shooting at the bad guys (who they missed, again). Well, the douche agent soon died, and as for Owen? Well, his time had finally come as well. Don’t shed any tears though. We all thought this kid would be dead five episodes ago. He lasted way longer than any other random field agent (perhaps with the exception of Daniel Dae Kim’s officer from the early seasons).
Well, now being totally undermanned, Jack and Cole made a bold plan. Jack would run out and draw fire while Cole would sprint to the land line and call CTU. There was some hemming and hawing, but Cole finally agreed. With his usual “fuck my life” joie de vivre, Jack then charged out into the open, firing at anyone he could find. The bad guys made easy work of him though, shooting him several times in the torso. Jack fell to the ground, and then we went into sniper mode, watching from the gun’s POV as the target moved directly to Jack’s head. One pull of the trigger, and he’d be a goner.
And then suddenly… bang bang! It was Renee! With two shots of her handgun, she disposed of the first sniper, and then another shot or two later, she offed the second guy. Phew! I love how Jack scuffles with these guys for forty-five minutes, and then Renee takes them down in a total of three seconds. Anyway, Renee came to Jack’s aid, and we learned that he wasn’t really hurt (bulletproof vest). All’s well that ends well! Oh, except Samir and Tarin escaped with the nuclear rods on a boat headed towards the city. Oops! Oh well. You win some, you lose some.
What did you think about the episode? Thoughts on Dana’s duplicity?

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3 thoughts on “24 RECAP: Girls Gone Wild!

  1. I had the unfortunate revelation from a friend on Facebook that Dana strangled Bill before I decided to fire up my DVR. But fortunately for me, he somehow restrained himself from saying anything about Dana’s phone call. SO, after the strangling, and the person on the other end of her phone call was revealed, my mouth LITERALLY dropped open. I was SHOCKED. And I LOVED it. 24 got me again!!

  2. Ladies Night on 24! This episode was amazing, and reminded me of how good 24 used to be back in the good ole days of Sherry Palmer, Mandy, and Martha Logan. The day Chloe tasered the guy in the bar was magical.
    I never suspected Dana as a mole, but in retrospect it explains why she was so short sighted about dealing with the ex. And, it never made sense that someone with her criminal history could get a job at CTU.
    Time for Cole to reactivate his match.com account.

  3. I won’t go all Crazy Bitch and demand a recap. But after this week’s 24 we MUST DISCUSS. I am reeling.

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