As usual, The City rocks. How else to improve an already impeccable cast of aspiring fashionistas and seasoned vets? Throw in a Brit for good measure. This week’s episode saw the arrival of Louise Roe, the British fashion reporter of whom we got a small taste last week. Not only is she busting in on Olivia’s territory, but her previous romantic entanglements with Whitney’s sort of ex, Freddie Fackelmayer, suggests that there might be more drama to come from this beguiling beauty (who looks not unlike a love child of Elle MacPherson and Kelly Bensimon — not a bad mix).
To be honest, I really had no opinion of Louise until she announced that she had just stepped off a plane from Los Angeles and as a result was simply “SHATTERED.” I think I may have thrown my arms up in the air Platoon-style and thanked the reality TV gods for sending yet another gift to The City. Sadly, Anne Slowey did not make a return appearance (boooo), but at least we got a cameo from the main bitch in charge at Elle, Robbie Myers, whose sweet, twinkling voice seems to betray an ice cold core of scariness. Watching her chirp orders to her flush-faced assistant Seth was nothing short of thrilling, only because we knew each and every word might soon be followed by a passive-aggressive command that would rattle any normal person to the bone.
The big news this episode was that it was FUCKING FASHION WEEK, and in case you weren’t sure, both Kelly and Whitney announced this within the first thirty-seconds of the show. Poor Whit-Whit didn’t have any collections to show (flashbacks to Anne Slowey eviscerating the Whitney Eve collection), but she made sure to drop by the Charlotte Ronson show with gal pal Sam from Bergdorf. Everything seemed to be fine and dandy until they spotted the aforementioned Louise. We quickly learned that the ravishing Brit had once unfurled her Union Jack for Freddie Fackelmayer (if you know what I mean), and I honestly couldn’t tell who was more jealous — Whitney or Sam. Methinks Sam was most perturbed because if we all remember, it was she who had the secret crush on the Waspy Wunderkind of last season. Whitney seemed more bemused by the situation, and when all three girls convened backstage for some awkward but genial banter, it appeared as though it was all a non-issue. For now.
Of course, all of Whitney’s story this week was something of a non-issue. After she attended the fashion show, she met up with some execs at Maybeline, who invited Whit-Whit down to Miami to show her collection there. Kelly then informed her that she wouldn’t be heading down to Florida to oversee the activities because, well, let’s be honest — she has more pressing things to do in NYC. Instead, Kelly put Roxy in charge of Whitney’s show, allegedly because Roxy did such a good job during FUCKING FASHION WEEK. However, jaded viewers like me know that the only reason Kelly is sending Roxy down south is to create some epic-sized disaster at the producers’ urgings. That’s okay though. It will all be worth it if it culminates with Kelly going ballistic on Roxy’s ass.
Meanwhile, at Elle, Erin’s plans to slowly marginalize Olivia out of a job seemed to be going ahead at full-throttle, thanks in part to Olivia herself and her continued fumbling. Our intrepid accessories editor claimed she could get a backstage interview with Marc Jacobs no problem, but when the time came, Olivia wasn’t able to parlay her personal friendship with the designer into anything for the magazine. This annoyed Joe and Erin, but even more frustrating to them was learning that she had overslept and wouldn’t be able to make it to the Badgley Mischka show. Conveniently, Louise Roe was hanging around; so Erin and Joe gave her a test run for Elle.com and had her interview the famous designers. No surprise here: Louise did an expert job, and Olivia, who had just arrived, was forced to watch her potential replacement hit a grand slam. In response, Olivia did her patented tight-pursed lips and skittish eyes thing — sort of like a bashful heroine from a Jane Austen movie.
After the shows, Erin happily sought out Robbie Myers and expressed a desire to bring Louise on full-time. Robbie flashed her charming but deadly smile and stated that she’d make “a call.” And so the episode ended with Olivia’s job looking more in peril than ever before. But why do I get the feeling she has something up her sleeve? This is Olivia, after all. She always gets her way. If I were Erin, I wouldn’t be sitting too pretty. Same goes for Louise…
“Hola. How is everyone? Good? Good. Glad to hear that. Guess what? IT’S FUCKING FASHION WEEK!”
“I have to run a fashion show? I think I just crapped in my pants a little.”
“So if you don’t have a seat in the first three rows of a fashion show, you’re a nobody? IIIII don’t agree with THAT!”
“Sorry, Whit. That’s what you call social stratification in the POWER BITCH WORLD.”
“I don’t agree with that.”
“I don’t care WHAT you believe. IT’S FUCKING FASHION WEEK!”
“Do you like my outfit? It looks like someone just peed all over my clothes. I call it ‘Urine Chic.'”
“Seriously, Joe, let me punch Olivia in the face right now.”
Whitney: “I like clapping. It’s fun.”
“Don’t mind me. I’m trying out my new Rachel Zoe Halloween costume.”
Joe Zee: “I’m bored.”
Olivia: “I’m more bored.”
“I guess we’re both bored.”
“Well, that was highly unprofessional.”
“Oh Joe… You’re funny…”
“What are you saying?”
“Olivia, if you have something to say, say it.”
“No, I, I get it. I get it Joe. OOOOOHHHHHHH JOOOOE….”
“Hey, is it okay if I totally ruin this fashion show? Just checkin’.”
Erin: “That’s the girl I was talking about: Louise Roe.”
Joe: “She’s CAAAYUTE!!! LOVE HER!!!”
“Oh, and look, there’s Matt Dillon!”
“Oh, he looks CAYUUUUTE too! LOVE HIM!!!”
“And omg, look at that chair!”
“That chair is CAYUUUUTE!!!! LOVE IT!!!”
“And is that a dead rat in the corner?”
“CAYUUUUUTEE!!! LOVE DEAD RATS!!!”
Kelly: “Okay Roxy, so listen up. The show has a flow, okay? 3-2-1 bam, 3-2-1 bam, okay? And you know why we do that? Because it’s FUCKING FASHION WEEK!!”
“I wasn’t able to get backstage, buuuuuut I did find this yak I was able to skin and make into a coat.”
Joe: “You know, Olivia oversleeping is not CAYUUTE. But I gotta admit, when it comes to sleep, LOVE IT!!!”
“‘ALLO guv’nah! Hope I’m looking fresh-faced. I just got back from holiday, and I’m positively SHATTERED!”
“So, Badgley Mischka, which one of you is the crumpet and which is the scone?”
Joe: “So why were you so late this morning?”
“I find that question to be highly unprofessional.”
“Enough with the bullshit, Olivia. Give me an answer.”
“Fine. If you must know, I got delayed because my DVD of Veggietales got stuck in the player. I found that to be highly unprofessional of the DVD player.”
“Um, so Roxy, good job on the show. I fuckin’ hate your incompetent ass, but good job. I want you to run Whitney’s show down in Miami, and hopefully after that, I’ll have enough reason to fire you.”
“For the last time, I am NOT Jill Clayburgh.”
What did you think about the episode? What were your favorite parts?