We’re only on the third episode of Big Brother 12, but already I’m starting to form some strong opinions about the cast. For instance, I can already tell you who I hate. Aside from Andrew, who is beyond annoying, I’m finding that Hayden is kind of the worst. Not only does he scream unnecessarily in the Diary Room, but his disheveled hair and perpetually dirty face bug the crap out of me. Plus, he has a cocky swagger, resulting most likely from his secret alliance known idiotically as The Brigade. I pretty much hate the Brigade and everyone in it; although, to be fair, I like Matt, and Lane seems okay for now. So basically I hate Hayden and Enzo. I want to love Enzo, what with his ridiculous Jersey-isms, but he’s just a touch too cocky for my tastes. And I really can’t get behind his self-anointed nickname, The Meow Meow. He thinks he’s running the game, but clearly the rug will be yanked out from under him, and when that happens, we’ll be in for some good times.
Also not winning any points with me is Monet, who is so dreadfully boring, I’m shocked she even wound up in the cast in the first place. She also seems a bit stuck up, but not in the fun Britney way. You see Britney is a total bitch and snot, but I think I kind of am loving her. She’s perpetually pissed, but we sense that she’s quietly plotting her revenge, and when that happens, it will be glorious. We’ll see if her shtick runs thin though.
Meanwhile, against all odds, I’ve found myself rooting for Brendon and Rachel. Brendon just seems nice, and he sort of has those puppy-dog eyes that makes you feel sad for even thinking a negative thought about him (although, again, we’ll see how long that lasts — especially if he keeps up with his awkwardly friendly attempts at intimidation and those clunker jokes of his). Rachel, meanwhile, has not revealed herself to be the second coming of Janelle, but she hasn’t really done anything awful, except unleash that horrid laugh of hers after nearly every sentence she utters. True, she’s fairly inane, but she’s also a total underdog, fighting against The Brigade’s nefarious plans, which brings up a good point: do I like her because she’s likable? Or do I like her simply because I hate The Brigade?
Luckily, Brendon saved himself from going home by winning the Power of Veto. It was a competition that had the players bashing piÃ±atas full of rancid mayonnaise in an effort to find letters that would eventually be used to spell the longest word possible. Ironic that spelling was the big challenge on a night when one cast member uttered the word “perfect-er.” Nevertheless, Brendon easily dominated with a thirteen letter word (“understanding”), which meant that The Brigade had to enact a backup plan. Who to go up in the PhD swim coach’s place?
The target soon fell on Annie, thanks to her friendliness with Brendon and Rachel, the house’s two bÃªte noires. I have to admit that Annie has proven herself to be much smarter than her CBS profile indicated; although, she wasn’t smart enough to get herself out of the hot seat. When she found out she was a contender to go up on the block, she confronted Hayden ineffectively about it, which was silly because all she really had to do was start a rumor that some other person was coming after him.
Ultimately though, Annie went up on the block, causing her to mutter something accusatory against Britney, who she thought was to blame for her besmirched reputation (this despite Britney being the one to actually give Annie the heads up that she was a target). As the show ended, it seemed as though both women were now locked and loaded for some cat fight action, which has me hoping that Annie sticks around, if only to see the sparks fly between the women.
I guess we’ll see what happens tonight…
“I’m a little offended that I haven’t been given an opportunity to speak about Judaism in ten minutes. You guys are being real Nazis about it. Ah-ha!!! STILL GOT IT!”
“Dear Jesus, please protect us from the flying mayonnaise that is coming in our direction. Also, grant us the ability to not be embarrassed about the fact that we’re acting like our homes were just destroyed by tornadoes when in fact all we’re doing is avoiding the aforementioned mayo.”
“Question: are words in kitten-speak acceptable? This could be critical for the Meow Meow.”
Matt: “Bring on the mayo!”
Ragan: “I was really hoping for glitter.”
“Hi. I’m Monet. This is my word. And yes, I’m still boring.”
Britney: “I can’t believe we have to sit here and get mayonnaise all over us.”
Lane: “Me neither. Heck, I don’t even know what mayonnaise is.”
Britney: “You spelled such a big word!”
Brendon: “Just goes to show: the dictionary doesn’t want to make an enemy out of me!”
Britney: “I thought you were a goner, for sure, Brendon.”
Annie: “Are you still speaking, you fucking little bitch whore slut?”
Rachel: “Get it? CHEMISTRY! Because I’m a chemist! And I have CHEMISTRY with Brendon!”
Enzo: “Yeah, big deal. You know what I have chemistry with? A scratching post. It don’t make me special. Meow meow.”
“Looks like I won the Veto. Just goes to show that whoever forged this Veto medallion SHOULDN’T MAKE AN ENEMY OUT OF ME!”
“Damn, I’m so excited that I just ejaculated all over my legs!”
“You know what I love? SCREAMING IN THE DIARY ROOM.”
“Here’s my word: Understanding.”
Rachel: “OH MY GOD! I’m understanding too! We have such CHEMISTRY, which incidentally was my word, on account of us having such CHEMISTRY!!!!!!”
“In this game, anything is POSSIBLE. You know, like me shaving or washing my face. But don’t count on it.”
“I’m sick of people thinking I’m the saboteur. And you know what I’m going to do to dissuade them? I’m going to INTENTIONALLY misspell my word. Nothing like THROWING A CHALLENGE to clear my sabotage reputation!”
“Check it out. My torso is me, but my legs are SOMEONE ELSE’S!!!”
“Rub my boobs for luck! Just know that I’ll arrest you after.”
“Um, could someone help me out of this chair? I seem to have sat in a tablespoon of honey.”
What did you think about the episode? Who do you think has the secret relationship?