THE HILLS FINALE PHOTOCAP: Goodbye, Sweet Hills

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I already posted a recap of The Hills finale, but MTV hadn’t posted pics yet from the episode. Now they’re up, which means that I can put a close to The Hills with one last photocap for old time’s sake.

After the jump, the end of an era. Sniff sniff…

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“I think it’s really time I figured out what to do with my life. I mean, who am I? What do I want to do? And who the HELL is Stacie the bartender anyway??”

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“Good luck getting your lives in order, bitches. I already got a man. And he’s not a douchebag. Smell ya later!”

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“This is the laaahfe. Plllaaaying golf and talking about rellllaaaaytionships.”

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Steph: “I really like this guy. I mean, he only showers once a week, and that’s really only during months that can double as girl names, but aside from that, he’s really cool.”
“Stephanie, please realize that I’m only tolerating your patter for the next twenty minutes. Once this show wraps, we’re done.”

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“I don’t know what to do with myself. I think I’m gonna go to Europe.”
Stacie: “The continent?”
“Huh? No. The club. It just opened on Sunset.”

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“Wow. Picnic tables are awesome. I love picnics. And I love thinking about picnics. And I love when people say the word ‘picnic’… My God I need a drink.”

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Steph: “Wow. When I kiss you, I feel like I’m making out with a young, stubbly Christy Turlington.”

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“Why are you leaving? I don’t llllaaahke that.”

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“I need to get some direction in my life.”

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“Is this because I have a new girlfriend?”

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“No. It’s because I’m in my mid-twenties, and I want to start a career.”

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“Career. Is that your code word for ‘I love Brody?'”

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“NO. I’m not going to Europe because of YOU.”

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“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was making you want to go to Europe.”

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“Didn’t you hear me? YOU’RE NOT THE REASON I’M GOING TO EUROPE.”

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“So I’m the reason you’re going to Europe. I get it. Thanks for laying on the guilt.”

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“UGH. Brody. Just shut up.”

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“Do you want me to shut up because I have a new girlfriend?”

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“It’s not always about you.”

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“What do you mean?”

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“You’re not the catalyst for every action.”

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“What does this have to do with cats and lists?”

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“No. Catalyst. Never mind.”

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“Can I have a hug?”

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“NO.”

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“Are you not hugging me because I have a new girlfriend.”

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“NO.”

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“So…. can I have a hug?”

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“Stop it, Brody.”

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“What, you’re not going to talk to me now?”

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“I’m thinking about it.”

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“Is this because I have a new girlfriend?”

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“UGGGGH. I’m leaving. Whatever Brody.”

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“Hug?”

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“Now that I’ve moved to a new house, I can finally think about what I want to do with my life. Ooooh! I know! Softcore straight-to-DVD movies!!”

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“Wow, Brody. I didn’t think you were coming to this party?”

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“How could I miss it? Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you readjust my head? It’s been stuck this way for like three hours.”

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“Um, did I just move all my crap here and NOT get a ring?”

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“Well, I’m off to Europe.”

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“I love that country.”

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“It’s a continent.”

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“Look at you, all smart.”

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“Ugh, WHATEVER BRODY. I need to catch my fake plane.”

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“Don’t leave. I want you to stay. Think of all the douchey things we could do together. I could pretend like I’m a street racer, you can pretend to be my girl. And then you could hug me.”

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“None of that is appealing to me.”

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“Look. I know the reason you’re going to Europe is because of me.”

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“It’s not because of you.”

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“But just hear me out. If you go to Europe…”

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“Okay?”

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“Then who will hug me??”

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“I don’t know. Whoever your bitch girlfriend is.”

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“But I want hugs from YOU.”

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“Brody, you’re being annoying.”

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“I laaaahke hugs.”

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“Clearly.”

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“Don’t go.”

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“I have to.”

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“Wait. One last thing.”

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“WHAT, Brody?”

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“Knock knock.”

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“Who’s there?”

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“Ken.”

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“Ken who?”

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“Ken I have a hug?”

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“Goodbye, Brody.”

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“Baaah.”


“I can’t believe it’s over!”

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“You know what you did, MTV! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!!”


“You cancelled us, MTV. You’re a sucky network. YOU’RE A SUCKY NETWORK! I want to forgive you, and I want to forget you.”

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“You’ll always be known as the network that cancelled The Hills.”

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“MTV, you don’t even know what’s wrong and what’s right anymore. IT’S SO SAD. So… see ya!”


“That’s a wrap, folks.”

That’s it. What were your favorite Hills memories?

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19 thoughts on “THE HILLS FINALE PHOTOCAP: Goodbye, Sweet Hills

  1. B, I can’t believe it’s over. Just like that. DUNZO — as Kristin liked to say during the LB days.

    Fave Hills memory? Chillin’ with the dude who coined the word Speidi at XIV and running into Brody, Frankie, and Sleazy T.

  2. It’s like it was sad, then I forgot I was sad, then I was sad all over again.

    I’m going to miss Ashes.

    Favorite Hills moments:

    1. Lo telling it like it is, especially when it came to JB and his ridiculousness.
    2. When Heidi and Spencer stopped making appearances.
    3. Lauren getting mad at Jen Bunney for sleeping with Brody, but not batting an eye before going back to being Brody’s bestie.
    4. Forgive you and forget you.
    5. Elodie’s passive aggressiveness.
    6. Lisa Love, the Teen Vogue way, and the closet
    7. That crazy “lucky candle” lady
    8. Lauren passing up Paris for a coke head asshole who beat her. Well played.
    9. When Stephen would randomly come back on the show and tease us with potential high school crush love rekindling.
    10. Spencer telling Stephanie she was making herself cry thinking about what she did.

    Tip of the hat to you, Ben. I would have given up long ago if it weren’t for you. We should all pick some specific drink (here in middle America there’s a place that actually serves a martini called a Laguna Beach), and toast to you this weekend.

  3. Hmmm… favorite moment of the hills. after (re)watching most of the entire 6 seasons the past weekend one should really jump out as the defining moment (at least for me). I mean there were a lot of great moments. and i’d have to narrow it down to whitney and lauren working together at teen vogue with lisa love and blaine. possibly even the first ‘young hollywood party’ at the roosevelt hotel, when heidi sneaks in with her dumb lunk of a boyfriend and everyone’s so cute and innocent and they can’t even imagine that violating their employer’s dictate that ‘no one sit here’ would result in getting reprimanded, or even fired. their hopes floating in the air like the teen vogue balloons in the pool. runner up would have to be lauren sighing ‘awww… dream boy/dream job’ to whitney’s surprise job offer at dvf, resting her chin on her clamshelled hands.

    i’d be remiss if i didn’t also mention that i too, held a secret hope that Alex H. (née Roz) would make a surprise appearance during the finale, perhaps ready to join kristin on a quick jaunt to europe. but only after pulling down her sunglasses, eyeing staci as she sauntered off, and proclaiming her hair, makeup and clothes to be ‘so lower mission viejo’.

    will miss these recaps and this show. although, at least for now, big brother is on, and somebody (annie? i don’t really know) just did an actual spittake, and that’s pretty awesome too. at least until they reveal who the saboteur is, and ‘america’ starts influencing the vote.

  4. I loved when Kristin said she was going to Europe and Stacie asked if she knew anyone “out there.”

    • Haha! Me too! I got so caught up in giving my favorite moments, I didn’t really even give respect to the recap itself.

  5. Fave Hills moments:

    1. Whitney and Lauren giggling when Lisa Love told them they’d be casting male models but immediately straightened up after she gave them the sharpest look of disdain.

    2. Lauren telling everyone at the Teen Vogue dinner there were so many flowers and being ignored, only to have Lisa Love validate her opinion.

    3. Jen Bunney with her pathetic puppy dog apology to Lauren. Lauren totally gave her the smackdown.

  6. I am laughing so hard I am crying..or maybe I am crying because there will be no more hills recaps…B-side You are the best!

  7. B-Side,
    Your Laguna and Hills recaps are what endeared me to TVGASM and I am still a big fan of you (and TVGASM) all these years later. How about one more email from that crazy chick begging/berating you for REAL Hills recaps? They were hilarious! Thanks B-Side…on to bigger and better!

  8. This was the perfect ending to the Hills recaps. I would like to thank you B-Side for giving me many moments of enjoyment at work going back from the TVGasm days. If I wasn’t so into Laguna Beach to begin w/I would have never found Gasm or you and followed you here, with the fantasic Housewives recap.

    Favorite Hills moments-1.Lo naming Justin Bobby
    2.Kristen coming on the show and instantly fighting with the girls

    Favorite B-Side moment-When Spedi we’re on their “break” and Heidi and Steph went to a club that Spencer showed up at. Spencer statred doing shots w/some other ladies and Heidi just kept repeating herself. “They’re doing shots, they’re doing shots.” I think your response was “Someone kick Heidi, she’s malfunctioning again!” I still laugh when I think of this!!!

  9. I was always fascinated how each and every birthday was a national holiday and everyone had to drop everything (jobs, other plans, etc.) to devote themselves to the birthday person. I love a good birthday party as much as the next person but these people were a wee-bit obsessed!

    Awesome final photocap — love that you closed with Ashes.

  10. LOL, that knock-knock joke had me cracking up. Hard. Haha!!

    One of my favorite Hills memories was when Jordan, Jason and Brian all got hammered before they went out, and Brian (I think) completely wiped out on the steps when they were leaving.

    Also – Heidi’s manic frolicking at her first Hills birthday party, with her crooked tiara adding to the general spaziness.

    Heidi’s FIDM entry interview… and subsequent schedule entries at Bolthouse: 9 am – Work, 6 pm – home; 9 am – work, 6 pm – home; and so on, LOL.

  11. Hard to pick a favorite but there were certainly a lot of great moments I had totally forgotten about until the epic marathon last weekend, like

    -Heidi’s disastrous interview with some admissions woman at FIDM
    -Lauren burning the coutoure (sp?) dress with the curling iron in Paris
    -Whitney falling down the stairs in the Oscar dress (also Andre Leon Tally totally dismissing Lisa Love while discussing dress options for Whit)
    -Spencer’s first trip to CO and the ensuing dinner where he maniacally imitated LC and referred to Heidi as an angel in the creepiest manner possible
    -the first engagement ring Spencer bought Heidi! It was from sort of Claire’s-like boutique
    -ALL of Lauren’s verbal smackdowns

    I also became a fan of your recaps on TVgasm. Can’t remember how I came across this blog, but I think it may have been through a link in the TVgasm comments as others have said, but even without the Hills it’ll still be one of my favorites!

  12. You outdid yourself, B-Side. The Kristin/Brody conversations were the best. “Do you want me to shut up because I have a new girlfriend?”

    So funny, I never wanted it to end.

  13. Hi there, You’ve done an excellent job. I will definitely digg it and individually recommend to my friends. I am sure they’ll be benefited from this site.

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