BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Diamond Veto Causes Mild Excitement

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Leading up to last night’s episode of Big Brother, there was plenty of drama: Rachel returned to the house, Rachel galvanized the house, and Rachel left the house. In the middle of all that, Ragan won the veto and managed to save himself, but at the risk of his NOT-ally Matt, who wound up on the block in his place. This was a brutal blow for Team Ragmatt, but we, the viewers, knew that all was not lost. After all, Matt had the Diamond Power of Veto, and clearly he’d be using it to save himself and to choose his replacement — most likely Kathy, who’s been the default nominee option since day one, it seems.

This was all obvious; so I was a bit perplexed as to why people were freaking out about how insaaaaaane last night’s eviction episode was supposed to be. Clearly Matt would save himself; clearly Kathy would go up; and clearly Kathy would go home. Sure enough, that’s exactly what happened. There was no drama. There was no uproar. Just a switcheroo for the safest choice — kind of a theme for this spineless cast.

Truth be told, when it came to blindsides, this wasn’t the biggest blindside of all time. I’d reserve that honor for Jeff, who exercised the Coup D’Etat last season and ousted Jesse from the house. It was a brilliant and exciting move, one fraught with anticipation going in, and full of drama going out. Matt’s use of the Diamond Power of Veto was fun, but nothing special. Just another ho-hum eviction.

I should note that I do like the Diamond Power of Veto more than the Coup D’Etat because while it takes power out of the HOH’s hands, it doesn’t totally nullify a week of work. The gimmick would be better, however, if it were called the WHITE DIAMOND Power of Veto, if only for the Elizabeth Taylor tie-in. As such, I’d request that the White Diamond Veto holder would have to say “Not so fast. These have always brought me luck” before using it. But that’s just me.

Luckily, with Kathy gone, we’re inching closer to a dramatic season. The house will surely unite around ousting Brendon, and once he’s gone, then there should be something slightly interesting to watch as The Brigade must step closer to cannibalizing its own. Very slowly, like an amoeba reproducing, the house has divided into two separate but friendly camps. Lines haven’t really been drawn in the sand. More like lightly etched. Hopefully once Brendon is gone, we’ll get some real tension — and hey, a backstabbing might be fun too. Is it possible we’ve come this far into the season and not seen one solid act of treachery yet?

Nevertheless, Britney is in charge this week; so the only real question is who will be her pawn against Brendon. Certainly not her buddy Lane, who has gone far too long saying “hisself” without being corrected (it’s like the Texas answer to “irregardless” and “supposively”). I’d like to see Enzo take some heat. Meow Meow needs to start testing out his nine lives.

Anyway, here’s the photocap:

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“It’s an evening blindsides unlike ever before. Some might say it’s the biggest blindside in the history of blindside. Prepare yourself for the biggest blindside ev–“

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BLINDSIDE!

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“I am absolutely thrilled to use my Diamond Power of Veto because then at last, I will no longer be beholden to its biggest stipulation: that I must keep my hoodie zipped at all times.”

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“Nom nom nom.”
Britney: “You eat like a Neanderthal.”
“Neander-nom-nom-nom-TAL!”

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“Matt, without you in this house, I don’t know what I’ll do. You are the one person I can trust. I know you have my back, and I have yours. BUT WE’RE NOT IN AN ALLIANCE!!!!”

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“Spare some change?”

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“Meow Meow hates choosing between his kitty friends. Isn’t there some catnip I can play with or somethin’?”

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“I’m really scared the Saboteur is going to out my secret alliance; so that’s why I’m showing you this note that outs my secret alliance, WHICH I DON’T HAVE.”

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“Don’t drop me, Lane. I would rather sit in a room with Brendon for ten days straight while being prodded with needles and chopsticks than fall off your back.”

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Lane: “I gotta get strong. Never know when you’ll encounter a giant turtle. When that days comes, I’m gonna settle things mano e mano. Or mano e turtle-o, as it were.”

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“Oooh, is this the preview for the new Housewives of Atlanta? I do NOT like Nene’s hair.”

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“And they brought that skank Kim back? That’s one party I WILL be tardy for!”

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“ZING!!”

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“I don’t like rutabaga.”

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“OOOH, but I LOVE Swiss Chard!”

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“What the? ‘This coupon is redeemable for one free bag of Meow Mix?’ Count me in!”

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“Don’t mind me, Julie. I’m just having my own personal tribute to the Dukes of Hazzard today.”

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“Hey Julie, could you hurry this up a little? I have to pee real bad.”

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“The one thing I miss from home is Muscle Milk!”
Julie: “I meant, what’s the one sentimental thing you miss from home?”
“Muscle Milk!”
“No, I mean, do you have a special blanket or a photo or a pillow?”
“Well… I have a good luck teddy bear!”
“Perfect! And what’s he called?”
“Muscle Milk!”

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“Julie, this Diamond Power of Veto better not be a joke because if it is, I’m going to literally fly to Africa, find a gun, rob a warlord of his blood diamonds, build a diamond veto medallion of my own, and then use it to STAB MYSELF IN THE HEAD.”

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“Ragan, when you are done looking like a Muppet, please cast your vote to evict.”

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“Julie, does it bother you that I’m naked right now?”

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Brendon: “Guys, I gotta admit — this has been the best two minutes of the summer.”

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Ragan: “On my knees and howling. Just another Friday night in West Hollywood for me!!!”
Britney: “Oh my God. If you make that joke one more time, I am literally going to drive to West Hollywood myself, light it on fire, and then douse the flames with my own bloody, which will be flowing quite liberally on account of me having SLIT MY THROAT FROM AGONY.”

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Chenbot:// If(no answer){ query: “Enzo, I need an answer.”};

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Chenbot:// error 500: server timeout.
Activate SternVoice v2.14a5 ?> “ENZO, I NEED AN ANSWER NOW.”

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WARNING: Fatal Error. An Error Has Been Encountered That Has Prevented Chenbot from Continuing. Chenbot has unexpectedly quit.

What did you think about this episode? What do you want to happen next?

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20 thoughts on “BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Diamond Veto Causes Mild Excitement

  1. I think the reason we were expecting more out of this episode had less to do with who Matt would put up, but rather if Brendon would flip out and start hugging people to death.

    Also, I think technically this was more of a blindside because nobody knew this power was out there. Last season, the house guests knew that somebody had the wizard power….and Jessie expected to be evicted, which is why he was wearing one of his Pec-tacular t-shirts underneath.

  2. At least diamond power of veto is easy to say. Unlike last season’s hoop de doo or whatever they kept calling the coup d’etat. All these people are too young (except for Cathy) to have listened to the Circle Jerks. THEY pronounced it right in their song.

    And FC, please don’t bring up the awfulness that was Jessie… Gag.

  3. Freaking Matt felt he had the power to bitch at Brendon, and that was the downfall of the big “DPOV” maybe if the diamond part of the DPOV hadn’t come apart and fallen off, and the awkwardness him of pulling the busted POV it out of his pocket, and sorta ruined the ‘event’

  4. omg that chenbot thing was so funny. I predicted everything as well….Kathy going home…still no drama. And Matt all ready knows the Brigade is after him so that won’t even be exciting…oh well 😐

  5. That Lane with hisself. I cringe every time he says that. Shows the strength of his Texas Tech degree. But in his defense, he *was* a jock…. and he does put on quite a show in the shower!

    • Really? You’re going to rip on Lane and Texas when the epitome of ignorant, Mr. Meow Meow, is in the house mispronouncing EVERY word out of his mouth? And don’t get me started on Dumbzo’s food smacking! He is illiterate AND revolting!

      • Samantha, don’t ya rememba? I’m from Paterson, girlfriend, so you betta be careful about what you say about the meow meow. I might just chase yous down some night and piss all ova your hair and try and get dat smell out. Of course, I could always pull your xstentions out and maybe that would rid you of da smell. Don’t you be messin wid dis Joisey guy. Ya heah!

  6. Could be interesting if Matt gets in Britney’s ear and tells her to nominate Enzo & Hayden. That way he could get rid of one of the Brigade and not be blamed. But I’m sure it will be Brendon all the way because these guys suck.

  7. “OOOH, but I LOVE Swiss Chard!”

    It seems your Adventures in Domesticity are infiltrating your Big Brother recaps with hilarious results. These recaps crack me up everytime.

  8. Busted out laughing with your captions for Britney’s Dukes of Hazard tribute, Kathy’s nudity and Ragan’s muppet face, among many others. You are hilarious — I hope this blog takes off for you!

  9. I think Enzo and Hayden’s paranoia over Lane and Matt’s side alliances will now really start to play. I think they will form a new alliance with Brendon. They pretty much have dropped Matt and have no trust in him.

    Ragan is also starting to get very annoying.

    This cast has been too nice. Even the fights are uncomfortable to watch cuz you can tell they’re holding back.

  10. Ugh, this season sucks. Thanks for breathing some life into it. The “Big Brother Says” would have been ridiculously stupid if I wouldn’t have been laughing at how much Brendon was totally loving the group hug. Big Brother should hire you to sit in a little box in the corner of the screen and ridicule these people. Better yet, you AND the Zingbot.

  11. Regan jumping like a lil girl after matt stay at the house wonder if he will still jump wen they find out that he’s been lying to all
    and, didn’t he trash reachel 4 been “in love” with a guy she just met 4 weeks ago, he is doing the same with matt…

    Regan sucks pussy….

  12. I love it: Ragan when you are done being a muppett…LOL
    I want to like Ragan, I really really do… but he is making it impossible. If he would only stop with the histrionics already! Pu-Lease!
    Has anyone figured out what is so beautifully written along his arm? Such nice cursive writing…I wonder if it’s a quote from Freud or Harvey Milk or James Baldwin or Plato or Jim Hensen….just wonderin’.

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