BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Finally A Girl Fight!

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It took about a month, but we finally had our first episode of Big Brother that featured extensive screaming and fighting, courtesy of the dearly departed Andrew, who conveniently informed the house that Hayden and Kristen were carrying on a secret showmance right under their noses. In the wake of this development, all sorts of shit went down, a chunk of which we actually saw on the live broadcast. Kristen and Hayden immediately went into denial mode; although, no one really believed them. I suppose their cause wasn’t helped by Hayden’s voice, which lilted like a choirboy whenever he lied.

Kristen meanwhile went on a psychotic rampage, unleashing that horrid Philadelphia accent of hers. She utterly denied having any sort of a showmance with Hayden, but the damage was done. When she later targeted Rachel during the HOH competition and subsequently lost to her, the fight was on. Rachel was sick and tired of having been targeted for being in a showmance when Kristen herself had been in one too. She unleashed her anger in the cattiest of ways, ridiculing and belittling her new enemy. As per usual, I fluctuated second by second between loving and hating Rachel, but in the end, I was happy to see her lash out at Kristen, who continued to deny any sort of sexual relationship with Hayden.

Sadly, this wasn’t one of those fights that managed to suck in the rest of the house. The cast members this year are too rational, and as a result, they just stood there and watched, privately laughing to themselves as these two bitches went at it. On the one hand, I totally empathized with them, but on the other hand, this is not what we sign up for on Big Brother. The rules are simple: two people start fighting about something petty, and then more and more people weigh in until it’s World War III, and we have no idea what the original fight was about in the first place. Is that so much to ask for?

Anyway, the brouhaha eventually settled down, but the tension between Rachel and Kristen continued to thicken. At one point Rachel attempted to apologize, but Kristen abruptly denied her, which was a curious move considering Rachel was HOH, and Kristen was… nothing. Later, Hayden had to practically beg Kristen to go play nice with Rachel, which she did, and for a moment there it sounded like Rachel was seriously considering not nominating her, but we knew this was misdirection. There was no way Rachel could sit in a bubble bath with Britney (the new queen of kissing ass — we like her again) and talk that much shit about Kristen without nominating her.

Aside from the big fight, there wasn’t too much more happening in the show. There was a silly challenge involving a sneak preview of The Other Guys, which came replete with a personalized and funny video from Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg (certainly a step up from the Jeremy Piven crap last season). Of all the luxury competitions we’ve seen, the obstacle course the players had to trot through was one of the goofiest, and yet, by the time it was all over, even I was chuckling along quietly. (Of particular note was Ragan’s gingerly approach to such things as moving platforms and a seesaw contraption).

As for the rest of the episode, it mostly focused on The Brigade trying to stay intact and secret as well as Matt bemoaning the fact that it’s just so impossible to get Rachel and Brendon out of power (cough, you had the chance last week, cough). This season is still suffering from the lack of a great villain and a great protagonist, but at least it’s showing some signs of life.

Here are pics:

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“We do NOT have a showmance! He’s my brother!!! I ALWAYS give him handies!!!”

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“Oh my GOD! How do we get these people out of the house??? It’s like we’ve tried everything!! Except, of course, nominating them when I was HoH.”

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“WHAT’RE YOU TACKIN ABOUT? So I gave my brother a blow job. BIG DEAL!”

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“Go back to Philly, bitch! No girl with a fashion degree is getting between me and MY MAN!”

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“You think I care that my teeth disappear when I yell? Because I’ll tell ya: I DO NAT CARE!!! NAT AT ALL!!!”

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“YER A HO-BAG! And I am NAT going to WAKK out of this house! You can TAKK the TAKK but you can’t WAKK the WAKK!!!”

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“You do NAT intimidate me! NAT AT ALL!!!”

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“Hahaha, I love all this communicating. It’s my passion, after all.”

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Brendon: “Hey, if anyone’s interested in a hug, my arms are wide open. Anyone? I know I’d like one. Kathy, what do you think?”

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Brendon: “You know, we can do a group hug too. C’mon. Join me and Rachel!”

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“HEY Y’ALL! Just stop it. Stop it! We need to get along here, okay? We’re friends, and it’s important to remember one thing: I had cancer.”

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Brendon: “Wow. That fighting was intense. I think I might need–”
Rachel: “Don’t say it, Brendon.”
“What?”
“You’re gonna say that you want a hug, right?”
“No…”
“Then what were you going to ask for?”
“Um… a hug?”

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“I am NAT going home! NAT GANNA HAPPAN!”

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“Now GET OUT OF HERE before I STAB YOU IN THE EYEBALL!”

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Brendon: “omg omg omg. I didn’t know this competition would end with a triple hug!!!”

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Enzo: “Oh yeeeaah. You like that Hayden? You feel the Meow Meow?”
“Yeah dude. That feels real nice. You’re like a balding version of Kristen.”

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Brendon: “Hey guys? I’m coming in for a hug. Is that cool? Guys?”

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Enzo: “All yous are on top of me.”
Hayden: “Never let it end.”

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Enzo: “Time to get intimate. Meow meow.”

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Rachel: “Ew, did you SEE the way those guys piled on top of each other today? No homoerotic threesome in a fake cop car is getting between me and MY MAN!”

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Britney: “UGH, you are so much worse than Monet.”

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“Hey guys. It’s time for the nomination ceremony. Also, I’ll be taking your drink order and bringing you out some fresh bread shortly.”

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“I’d just like to announce that I’ve joined a cult and will be shortly departing this world as my spaceship is arriving tonight via meteor shower. And please don’t try to stop me. Ain’t no one getting between me and MY CULT!”

What did you think about the episode? Team Kristen or Team Rachel?

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27 thoughts on “BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Finally A Girl Fight!

  1. Can we be on Team Switzerland? I really don’t like either girl. Although I dislike Rachel a little more than Kristen. But when Rachel laughs, I go back on Team Kristen. Then Kristen shows her crazy eyes, and I switch back yet again. I guess that makes me Team Britney because there’s no way I’m on Team Kathy. Too much mascara involved… Just a little more eye makeup and she could be Tammy Faye, who died of (you guessed it!) CANCER!! ;)

  2. I didn’t understand Kristin when she said that there was a reason she wouldn’t leave, and wait til they find out. She scares me with the eyes, and the high pants, and the accent. But then, Rachel scares me with the accent and the laugh and the loud talking.
    I loved when Britney said that the argument taking place in a big boxing ring, wasn’t lost on her. She is funny, a bitch, but funny.

  3. Thank you for pointing out Kristen’s terrible accent! I wrote on your last post that I live in Philly but I still can’t get used to the accent…its like nails on a chalkboard to me

  4. Thank you for pointing out Kristen’s terrible accent! I commented on your last post that I live in Philly but I still can’t get used to the accent…its like nails on a chalkboard to me!

  5. Hahah priceless once again. Never will I be a Team Rachel, her face, voice, extensions, fake boobs, and hideous clothes make me want to shoot myself … Go Britney, she may be a bitch but she is funny as all get out. Actually, I don’t think she’s a bitch at all, how can anyone deal with Rachael for more than 5 seconds?

  6. I can’t stand Rachel, she gets on my nerves so bad, unfortunately, I think she is in it for the long haul, she may not win the whole shebang but she’s not going anywhere too soon.

  7. Contrary to what she originally felt, I think having Monet out of the house was actually the best thing for Britney. She seems to be able to focus now without having another bitch stirring her crazies.

    I’m starting to get annoyed by Kathy. There’s something about her that I don’t find sincere.

    Lane saying Hayden and Kristin (jokingly) must be kissing cousins nearly had me falling off my chair laughing. How big is this house? I can’t believe the Brigade never suspected it. The Brigade alliance hasn’t exactly been a collection of great minds.

  8. Rachel is such a train wreck when they aren’t playing a competition (from her laugh to her love of Brenda) but then she turns into this demon machine who plays her ass off.

    Kristen is useless — from messing up her real life relationship for a slack jawed moron to throwing competitions to fighting with the very person who has the power to put you up.

    I am on Team Britney now that Monet is gone. The girl cracks me up and on the feeds she is even more entertaining. The only thing she lacks is the killer instinct. If she could handle a little face to face confrontation she would be in my top 10 BB hgs.

    hb

  9. “That this fight between Kristen and Rachel is happening in a boxing ring is not lost on me.”,
    I love Britney.

  10. I’m so happy you pointed out how excited Brendan was when they all piled up on top of each other at the end of that challenge.

    These are seriously the best. Ain’t no one getting between me and MY PHOTOCAPS!

  11. I don’t know, I’m not a fan of either of them. Britney rocks though! I love her DRs.

  12. I gotta stick with Team Rachel. She’s a fighter with one weakness…not a glass jaw but a glass heart when it comes to Brendon.
    Her mode of dress, hair color and all the trimmings may be seen as too showy or slutty to some, but it is a way of life in Vegas and, believe it or not, in some Vegas circles she would be considered prudish. (“I want Brendon to quit dropping the F-bomb”…and…”I don’t say the word ” ‘bitch. ‘ “).
    I agree with those who think Brit is funny…she is sharp, funny and cute. I would like to see Rachel and Britt go all the way.
    Kathy is beyond repulsive.

  13. Fortunately (for my productivity), I don’t watch BB, but the girl in the very first picture looks like a B I went to HS with. And I wouldn’t mind seeing her hang herself…. Too far?

    Anyway, if there’s a team AGAINST her, can I be an unofficial member who is a member in spirit and when we get together to drink cheap boxed wine?

  14. Team Britney all the way! It’s just sad that the BB PTB have decided to focus on Rachel and Brendon, hoping they will drive ratings like Jeff/Jordan did last season. Give Britney more air time, AG!!! We are almost all Team Britney here. As for Rach and Kristen, if I had to choose one of them I would feel like I was going to hell in a handbasket! Oh–**love** the photocaps and hope you do know how much some of us look forward to them. (my faves are Kathy and the cancer card) Been there and would NOT play that card. :(

  15. I really wish the people in DR would tell Rachel to stop SHOUTING at us. Her voice is bad enough when she’s just talking, but the DR sessions are too much to bear. I think I’ve written off ever going back to Vegas due to the fear that I might accidentally run into her somewhere. Oh, and I’m still convinced she’s the first transgender HG on BB. She had to have been born Raymond and later became Rachel.

  16. Britney is awesome. Rachel is unbearable. What is with that ugly, shiny, slinky, half-dress/ half-shirt thing she wears?? That thing is so fug- and it makes her look like a stripper.
    Brenda (not sure who coined that, but good one!) is physically very attractive, but what a wuss. His personality kills his good looks. He is such a chick! I just can’t stand the guy! And watching their showmance is completely nauseating. The producers don’t seem to understand that we really are turned off by them. They are absurd. Hope they get nixed soon.

  17. I’ve started to grow fond of the Meow Meow – hairplugs and all…….he makes me purrrr. Okay, not really. But those girls make me want to hack up a hairball of my own. If I had to pick one, I think I would go with Britney – at least she’s entertaining without being gross.

    *hack hack*

  18. Screw these two – Britney is the best person in this house. Sure, she’s catty, but she’s SO damn funny! When she was talking about kissing Rachel’s ass and said “Bubble up” – genius…

  19. Can someone please explain to me why Kathy smokes (like a chimney) if she is a cancer survivor? What’s up with that??

    • She was weeping and crying last week when she was on the block to everyone in the house about her cancer and wanting to provide for her son “in case”. And all the time she was puffing away. (as Britney would say) The irony was not lost.

      hb

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