REAL HOUSEWIVES REUNION PHOTOCAP: Crazy Vs. Stupid, Or Just Another Day In Jersey

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At long last, Bravo aired the first “supersized” part of its much-anticipated Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion, and let’s just say this: we’ve come a long way, baby. I remember back in the day when a Real Housewives reunion consisted of a few generally polite ladies sitting around a cozy couch in what appeared to by Vicky Gunvalson’s den. Now the outlandish productions take place in casinos, and instead of friendly, if passive-aggressive, exchanges, we get hostile screaming and dramatic exits. Plus, for the first time, cameras actually left the couches and followed the women into their respective dressing rooms / corners where various handlers and hair dressers offered moral support and a calming influence. The whole debacle leant a distinctly pugilistic feel to the episode. All that was missing was Don King; although, with Caroline’s big hair, she came pretty close to filling that role.

To be honest, it’s hard for me to recount some of the specifics of the hour. There were a lot of flare ups, a lot of accusations, and a lot, a lot, a lot of contradictions — both in terms of logic, statements, and emotions. Ultimately though, if I had to peg anyone as the “losers” of the hour (and fifteen minutes), it would have to be Teresa. Why? Well, she’s just an idiot. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Danielle is crazy, but Teresa is just dumb, and I believe the latter is worse — largely because it’s more contagious. Plus, Teresa’s not just dumb. She’s dumb AND tacky (which are often highly correlated).

Take, for example, her middling attempt to be tactful. This occurred in the first minute or so of the program when Andy Cohen asked a generic question about if the women objected to Jersey Shore’s portrayal of the state. Teresa suddenly anointed herself a classy broad and declared that the casual sex portrayed by the likes of Snooki or Sammi was totally deplorable. Meanwhile, this was the same woman who has proudly detailed the various sexual exploits of her and her husband on national TV. Not saying that marital sex and Jersey Shore sex are interchangeable, but if Teresa’s point is that she’s too “classy” of a dame to give her snatch away to any ol’ mook in Seaside, she certainly undermines herself by revealing the fairly “un-classy” details of what goes on behind closed doors.

Nevertheless, Teresa noted that SHE doesn’t give up sex that easily, unlike other women in the room. The insinuation that Danielle was a whore was pretty shameless in and of itself — after all, they weren’t even talking about Danielle, but Teresa went out of her way to pick the fight (much like at the POSCHE fashion show). However, just in case it wasn’t clear to whom Teresa was directing her wrath (you know, for those few who thought she was saying Caroline was a major slut), Teresa then clarified that she was indeed referencing Danielle. And from that moment on, the show was just insanity.

The screaming was through the roof, and often it came thanks to Teresa, who went out of her way to somehow insult Danielle. Making matters worse was Jacqueline, who once again proved that the vapid, idiotic apple that is Ashley does not fall far from the tree. The woman spent most of the reunion whining at Danielle with the sort of bratty cadence usually reserved for nine year old girls (although, this may be an insult to nine year old girls). It was sort of appalling (in the best possible way) to see this woman transform into the kid sister we all hated. Watching her yammer on about whether or not Danielle had accompanied her to a fertility doctor was about as silly as it gets, and the more petulant Jacqueline acted and the more bullying Teresa behaved, the more I found myself oddly on Team Danielle. Or rather, Danielle’s Mafia.

After all, Danielle kind of had a point: the women seemed to have had a field day dredging up her past and airing her dirty laundry, but whenever Danielle mentioned anything about the Manzos or the Giudices, World War III broke out. I suppose it’s not as simple as that though. These women are probably at their wits end after having read months of Danielle’s caustic, mean-spirited blogs. Still, it was hard to believe Teresa and Jacqueline when they claimed they never talked about Danielle unless they were on camera (doesn’t explain how they know Danielle’s kids cry at school).

Speaking of the kids, it still felt a bit baseless of Caroline to claim that Christine and Jillian (our favorite) lacked a certain light in their eyes. Considering she had encountered the girls probably about three times in her life, it was a bold statement to make. And let’s be honest, there’s only one dead-eyed child in the brood, and her name begins with an A and ends with SHLEE. Seriously, if you want to talk about vacant expressions, look no further. There are episodes where she looks like a beached flounder.

Don’t get me wrong, though. Danielle deserved a good amount of the crap thrown her way. She’s no innocent bystander, and she has a nifty way of distorting the truth to fit her perception of reality. Take, for example, when she claimed her kids were unaware of her sex tape because they live in a bubble. Not more than two seconds later, she claimed their feelings were hurt by Caroline’s dead-eye comments. How could they be so hurt if they live in a bubble, Caroline asked. BUSTED. Yes, Caroline was on fire, and truly, she emerged from the hour looking the best. She attacked when it was appropriate (unlike Teresa), she defended her family, and she tripped Danielle up in her own silliness. I believe I may have let out a yelp of excitement when Caroline uttered “Yippie ki-yay.” She was awesome.

That being said, I can’t pretend that I wasn’t delighted every time Danielle took a dig at Teresa. I mean, as crazy as Danielle is — and she is crazy — she still didn’t deserve the persistent, often random attacks by Teresa. That’s why when Danielle made mention of some nephew, thus sending Teresa into a rage, I chuckled with joy. And not just because Teresa had leapt up from the couch and was acting like a lunatic. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones (especially if said houses feature giant, breakable vases).

By the way, Andy Cohen does not earn a mazel for his ineffective attempts to wrangle Teresa back to her seat. I know Italian women will say that when they’re angry, nothing can stop them, but seriously… Andy got thrown around like an old pair of Banana Republic socks.

Anyway, I seriously can’t remember so many parts of the show. Be sure to chime in with your favorite moments. Until then, here’s the photocap.

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Jacqueline: “Look at this face. Do I look like someone who would watch Jersey Shore?”
Teresa: “I don’t watch it because I’m a lady. Don’t you forget: I’m from Paterson! Did you forget? DID YOU FORGET???”

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“So then I put my hands on the bed just like this, and I says to Joe ‘Joe. JOE. DO ME IN MY TORTELLINI HOLE. JOE!!!!’ And he does.”

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“I will refrain from saying anything. But that’s mostly because I have very few noteworthy things to say.”

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Teresa: “Do NOT break UP my FAMILY!!!”
Danielle: “I don’t need this. I don’t feel safe.”
“THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE A BITCH, and BITCHES DON’T FEEL SAFE!”
“Is that a threat? Because I will not clap.”
Andy: “Guys, c’mon…”
Teresa: “What the hell you doing to me, Andy? Milania has more upper body strength than you do.”
Danielle: “That’s because Milania’s a beast.”
“WHAT DID YOU SAY, BITCH? WHAT DID YOU SAY?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if she were on steroids. Just sayin’.”
“LET ME AT HER, ANDY. LET ME AT THE BITCH!”
Andy: “Ow, you’re hurting me.”
“Don’t be a pussy.”
Danielle: “Excuse me, but that was a derogatory statement against cats and gay people, and I don’t know what sort of racist background Teresa has, but I will not clap for it.”
Teresa: “Derog-a-what? Speak English, YOU BITCH.”
Andy: “It means ‘mean.'”
“Mean? I’ll show you mean. I’ll stuff a sangwich down the bitch’s mouth.”
Danielle: “It’s SANDwich.”
“Listen, BITCH. I’LL SAY WORDS THE WAY I WANT TO SAY WORDS. I AIN’T CHANGIN’ FOR NO ONE.”
Andy: “It’s not really about changing. It’s more about being grammatically correct.”
“I DON’T CARE ABOUT NO GRAMMAR! I’M A LADY! A LADY DON’T NEED TO SPEAK GOOD!”

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Teresa: “You’re a whore, Danielle. You’re garbage and a whore and a stupid, bitch. I hope you rot in hell. Oh, and your daughters are miserable and cry after school. Whore-face.”
Andy: “Um, all I did was ask if you liked Cherry Coke.”

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Andy: “Let’s move on to neutral territory. Danielle, what do you think about the weather today?”
Danielle: “I like it.”
Teresa: “Of course she likes it. It’s WHORE WEATHER TODAY. Let me at the bitch, Andy. Let me at the bitch!”

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Andy: “Okay. Moving on. Danielle, did you like the new Karate Kid movie?”
“Yes. I thought it was very good. It started Will Smith’s son, right? Or was it his nephew?”
TERESA: “DO NOT BREAK UP MY FAMILY!!!!!”

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“Wait for it… wait for it… wait for it…”

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“Ok… now!”

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“YIPPIE KI-YAY, MOTHERFUCKERS!”
Andy: “Um, Caroline, we’re at a break.”
“Dammit.”

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Caroline: “Answer me this: who took my other sleeve, okay? I was sitting here, okay, and I had two sleeves, okay. And now there’s one.”
Danielle: “Well it wasn’t me.”
“Who is the only other person on this couch?”
“I won’t answer that.”
“Who is the only other person on this couch?”
“My daughter’s friends actually love me and think I’m cool.”
“God bless. WHO is the only other person on this couch?”
“I’m sorry you can’t deal with the fact that I’m loved.”
“WHO IS THE ONLY OTHER PERSON ON THIS COUCH.”
“I’m not intimidated.”
“WHO IS THE ONLY OTHER PERSON ON THIS COUCH?”
“Teresa.”
“WHO IS THE– what?”
“Teresa is on this couch.”
“No, she’s not. Do you see Teresa on this couch?”
“I see lots of people on this couch.”
“Do you see TERESA though?”
“No.”
“So why would you say she’s on this couch?”
“I never said THAT.”
“You just said it.”
“No, Caroline. You’re making things up.”
“UGGH.”

What did you think about the reunion? Did you find it hilarious or insufferable? Who were the winners? Who were the losers?

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79 thoughts on “REAL HOUSEWIVES REUNION PHOTOCAP: Crazy Vs. Stupid, Or Just Another Day In Jersey

  1. They all really really suck. Theresa sucks the worst. How the hell did they ever get $11 million dollars in the first place?

  2. Theresa is just an awful person. Possibly bi-polar? Jacqueline seemed to serve no other purpose for being there other than being petty in her gripes with Danielle. Ashley’s being now make sense to me. Danielle, is masterful at twisting thing to suit her and in avoiding answering any straightforward question. Caroline just plain rocks. Love her to death.

    • That’s interesting. It makes sense, but then again Theresa never did need a reason to flip her lid.

    • Thanks for that link! Maybe Juicy Joe went out looking for action when Teresa was recuperating from the new bubbies…

      • I just read on another site that the whole Joe affair thing is a rumor started by Danielle herself and that a blonde Joe was seen with was Tamra from Real Housewives when they all had gone out to dinner together….

        I love the internet!! You can find any answer but the truth except for Bside…he speaks the truth. : )

      • But they were having sex on the way home from the hospital as you recall from last season’s table flipping finale.

        • My guess is that we’ll have to wait til the S3 reunion to find out what it means.. like we had to wait til this one to confirm what Danielle did from the S1 finale with Dina.

          • Wait I am confused…if Theresa’s husband has a lovechild with a mistress wouldn’t that be Theresa’s step-child and not nephew? What am I missing?

  3. What is very very frightening about Danielle is that she does things off camera.. in other peoples real lives… and then just waits to be on camera and sit quietly at their acting crazy.

    I am not fooled for one moment by her “innocence”.

    Theresa is crazy and low class. But Danielle is truly dangerous.

    Truly.

    • Yes, yes, yes! This is why I will never be on Team Danielle. Bitch is a Jafar lookin’ mofo (thanks Perez) major button pushing drama queen who plays the victim or villian card whenever she can get away with it. LOVE how Caroline does not let her get away with it.

      I am so glad she’s not on next season. I won’t miss her at all.

      • For some reason I always think Danielle looks like The Grinch as played by Jim Carrey.

        • Ha! DearTweslie, I will give you that one except for those drawn in upslanted eyebrows. That is where the Jafar resemblence is right on the money for me.

          Oh, I am still chuckling,
          The Grinch indeed..!

          Dee

          • I totally see the Grinch resemblence. Sticking with a good Christmas special, Caroline always reminds me of Heat Miser..only angrier.

            This whole housewives franchise is losing its appeal. Same plot in every city..one person is the one everyone hates and they all talk about that person..blah, blah, blah. I miss the old OC days. I thought DC might be better, but it’s the same old plot line. At least the recaps are always great!

  4. Cannot wait for the mannequin head from hell – or errh, Danielle’s bag. I have to say, Caroline looked stunning and I’m happy to see Danielle finally fixed her “squaretits” (Kim G’s words, not mine) and they look ALMOST as big as Jacqueline’s.

      • No, it was definitely Kim G in her screaming encounter with Danielle when Ms. Square-tits called her out for playiong both sides.

        • Bobby..beg to differ. Ashley mentioned them earlier in the season at one of those proverbial Manzo/Giudice/Laurita’s dinners. Check back about 10-20 episodes from this season. BTW, everyone laughed, of course (except for Caroline, I think).

  5. Yeah Danielle is a angry vindictive skank and Teresa is strong and excitable, DING! bring in the boxing ring and let them go at it!

    Andy did a good job w/asking the ? we want answers to, and getting answers. Plus we sorta got to see him being a TV executive

    • YES, i would love to see them in the ring!!!! Call me low class and trashy but it would make me very very happy to see Danielle finally get what she deserves. And let all the bodygaurds watch as i am sure they would enjoy it as well. lol.

      Caroline just rocks it.

  6. Yes B-side. Isn’t Jacqueline the best at joining in with all the bullies ganging up on her former bff? And quite the whiz at making friends with all of the dregs of New Jersey? Let’s see who her friends are/were: Danielle,Teresa, Kim D., Kim G. Oh right. I guess that beggers can’t be choosers.
    I doubt that Dina would consider her a friend. She may have forgiven her for all the beans she spilled to Danielle about her and then screeching at her at the last supper, “You’re SUCH A LIAR, DINA! EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT YOU!”. But, forgiving is very different than forgetting. I dont think I would want a friend like that in my life, would you?
    I don’t notice any love between Caroline and her, either. I think she puts up with her because of her brother Chris.
    I’d venture to say she’s the BIGGEST LOSER of the whole bunch. Yep. Loud applause coming from here!

  7. I’ve been a long-time reader, but something about these NJ wi-men (Danielle) got me here! I cant believe so many people are on team-Danielle (refuse to call it “Danielle’s Mafia”, gross). What annoys me is the fact that we clearly don’t know the half of what’s going on, especially with the “gag order” that danielle placed on dina and who knows who else. First of all, Danielle tries to have one of their nieces taken away from their sister. Disgusting and low. Second, she goes around calling their children “dogs”, “animals” and commenting on their weight. Ok, whatever, these children are annoying, but if someone called my child or niece/nephew something like that…. DONE. And THEN she back-tracks and pretends like she’s the victim. I heard she goes around to stores and supermarkets, telling people who work there that Teresa is “stalking” her and she needs to park in the handicap spots to avoid being ‘harassed’. That Teresa keyed her car and broke her windows. OK, I might believe that Teresa would do that based on her outbursts, but if she did do it, wouldnt Danielle be the first to report it to the cops? But, no police reports. So again, defamation. And also, the Brownstone event where she had to go and present a check… there’s an article from a NJ newspaper where the father of the child stated that Danielle was NOT an honored guest, she did not rsvp her other guests (hence no table) and did NOT raise ANY money or donate ANY money to them. She attended for FREE! Ugh, ok, Im done now. But also, I think delusional is more dangerous than plain stupid. Just sayin’…

    BTW, very funny recaps, i look forward to them every week :)

    • I totally agree. I think she is pathological and dangerous and the other women had every right to demand she be removed from the show. They may be enjoying the fame but I am sure they ALL regret letting that looney into their lives. She is a master manipulator and scary as hell. Did you notice when they called her out on the father of the child with cancer saying she did not donate any money, she very carefully said that wasn’t true and that she had ‘raised’ over six grand or something by going door to door. She may have gone door to door and asked for $6K but I am POSITIVE she never actually received or donated any money. What a sicko. That was kind of it for me on her…. using a child with cancer to get attention and further her agenda. No thanks. I will not miss her next season and I really hope she just fades away.

  8. Teresa’s version of events, from her Bravo blog (http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey/season-2/blogs/teresa-giudice/go-big-or-go-home?page=0,1):

    I know I opened my home and my heart to the viewers and I’m so blessed you have let me. But my extended family – my aunts and cousins and in-laws – didn’t and they deserve their privacy. I would not answer anything about them because it’s nobody’s business, but since so many of you asked what Danielle said that made me so mad, I will tell you as best I can…

    In April, my newest nephew was born off camera. (No, not Jacqueline’s baby; Jacq and I are not related.) And no he’s not sick. He’s perfect and beautiful and we’re blessed to have him in our lives. If you all remember, I was scheduled to do the live Bravo Chat Bubble for a Real Housewives of New York episode the night he was born, and I was at the hospital so long, I was late logging in. So, yes, of course I was at the hospital when he was born!

    When we were talking about Danielle not even acknowledging the birth of Jacqueline’s new baby Nicholas – which is part of the show – Danielle jumped in and accused me of not acknowledging my own new nephew. Did you see my face, how confused I was? At first, I had no idea what she was talking about because I WAS there and my 90,000 Twitter followers were kind of at the hospital with me that day too. But then I realized what she was saying – that she had been digging around my extended family and trying to find dirt on me and defame them. And I just had it. I will not stand for that (or sit still anyway).

    • Wow! Okay — normally I would not take Theresa seriously but I believe her about this! Super scary and not right. Go after Theresa all you want but when she starts digging around to find dirt on her family, yikes! I might have leapt at her too.

    • I read on another blog that Teresa’s nephew in question is her brother’s son. It was reported that Teresa’s brother married a black woman (gasp!!), and because of her color, Teresa’s family has “written him off” and severed all contact. That makes sense. Too bad Teresa doesn’t.

  9. See, thats why I think she makes the other women so crazy… she goes for stuff OFF camera, and then brings people who did not sign up for this into the drama. Shes scary bc she knows EXACTLY what buttons to push, sits there like shes shocked and shaken up while she watches it explode.

    • She does alot of her ugly stuff ON camera, too, though.
      Think of her confessions on camera:
      1. The “psychological” F.U. to Chris Manzo as she was entering HIS home at The Brownstone. When questioned by Andy about her behavior at The Brownstone that horrible night of the poor cancer baby, she denied having any bad intentions and “I even shook Chris’s hand before I went in” claimed she. I am so happy that they showed what she conveniently left out on WWHL.
      2.After the Sweet 16, she proclaimed to the world (Oh spare me her delusional narcissim): “I’m the BEST mom in the world.”
      3.Pretending like her children NEVER ever see their father. ie: “It was CRITICAL that you see Jillian sing tonight!” (on Camera, of course).
      4. “I learned from Paris Hilton to pretend to be speaking on the phone. It really pisses people off.” Yep. It pissed Jacqueline off enough to get her middle school “take” on matters.
      5. There’ll be no need for talking with Danny P. there. Right….except for Danny P. to roam around like an airplane circling for a landing strip spouting expletive after expletive.
      6. Claiming that she was an honored guest at the function and was to present the check. Hmm…would have been a little bit embarrassing to present a check for $300 (compliments of the lovely Kim Granatell).
      7. Making such a stink at that party she threw for herself (oh..excuse me, I mean for Christine) about the 2 empty seats. As if Dina and Jax just didn’t show up without responding.
      8. The best one, though, I think was when she said at her adult birthday party about Caroline and Al: “SHAME on them for not being there knowing I was coming and their son would basically be in harm’s way.”
      9. Can’t stand Teresa. Pathological liar. However, Danielle outdoes her by a mile…when she SMILES (couldn’t even pretend to be a little concerned) about Joe and his accident. Evil Danevil! And then makes up all kinds of stories she wishes were true and may have been, but only by mere coincidence and not through any special knowledge she had.
      10. Lying about not knowing that Gia was in Fashion Week also.
      “She’s 4 foot tall. How can she be a supermodel?”.
      I could go on and on and on. I don’t think that anyone here, especially B-side, is on Team Danielle. Pu-Lease. Listen up.
      We are merely stating that no one in this group of simpletons is INNOCENT. Some like Danielle and Teresa are worse than others. But, I must tell you, I think the phoniest one by far is Jacqueline.
      She’s the lighter fluid that brings the biggest flame to the grill. And I can’t stand cowardly followers. They always make the loudest noises when confronted with some truth about themselves and will conveniently throw anyone under the bus.
      Where do you think Ashley gets her personality from? The type that never truly accepts responsibility for her behavior. Think on that for awhile.

  10. Danielle is a sociopath. Sitting there acting so innocent- I loved how Caroline (Carolyn?) called her out at every chance. What is scary is, I don’t think Danielle is sitting there cackling inside about how devious she is- I think she actually honestly believes she is a good person. Even when she says something and tries to retract it 10 seconds later (“I didn’t say that”, “Uh ya, you just did”) she appears to genuinely be convinced SHE DID NOT SAY IT. It is chilling. Also- her kids do look totally vacant. The vacant differs from Ashley because there is dumb vacant and there is psychotic vacant. Those kids are bizare to say the least, I keep thinking like Flowers in the Attic levels of lack of socialization but I loathe to use that as an example as I only mean it on a basic level. Kids deprived of normal contact with other kids and adults. Teresa is ok- she makes me laugh usually in a mocking sort of way. I read the reference to the “nephew” was about her brother who married a black woman and they recently had a baby that the family didn’t acknowledge. But all this stuff about a Tara chick is amusing! Heh. Joe can’t keep his own wife and family financially taken care of so we are supposed to buy that he has some kept piece on the side? Nah. Don’t buy it at least on that level.

    • Poor Jillian and Christine NEED to have that very vacant look in their eyes. Can you imagine if everytime their mother did something wierd, wacky, disgusting or down right grimy, their eyes reacted? Their heads would be brain tumors waiting to happen.
      I have seen kids like this and have found that they do come from very emotionally disturbed parent (s). It’s a defense mechanism against all the craziness they experience.Oftentimes, their voices, too, will have very little affect.
      Those poor kids. I really do feel for them. And the saddest thing is this: they will be attached to her for life, because she made them responsible for HER.
      Their father disappoints me though. He has no pelotas. He can clearly see what this woman’s lifestyle has done to HIS children. He could easily win in court by just showing episodes of RHoNJ. Her pole dancing. Her taking her daughter to a gyno for the first time and having it ON CAMERA. Her hanging out with felons on parole. Her propositioning that fugly Steve in the restaurant ON CAMERA! Her confiding things to her daughters she has no right to do! Her making them promise that they’ll never forget about her once they make all their money (Only Christine really has a chance of making it…but again, she has nothing really any more special than a thousand other tall, beautiful girls. Her mother dearest made certain that she would only be mediocre at best).
      Gotta go: the men in the white coats are here to take me away. Byeee byeee (NO. That is not a death threat!).

  11. Favorite moments:
    -Andy telling Danielle “we didn’t know you could sing,” and her taking that as a compliment, saying “thank you.”
    -Teresa’s mind going even blanker while in a rage against Danielle that all she could manage to say was “…she is, she is…” (Now if we could find the button to push that could shut Jacqueline the eff up!)
    -Caroline calling Danny “Mr. Kot-tair!”
    -Danielle being called out on her use of “woman” as plural, & she still couldn’t say it right
    -Any time Jacqueline was not talking

  12. I love how on these reunions, all the Housewives always get so dolled up only to act like animals. I’m practically chanting “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!” when I watch the reunion.

    Yeah, Danielle is crazy. But what would this cast be without her. Caroline is way too sane to be a part of the Housewives…unfortunately, I find her to be a bit pious.

    It seems like Danielle’s explicit hints to a ‘nephew’ scandal really hit a nerve with Theresa. If it was completely untrue, Theresa wouldn’t have had such a violent reaction.

    • Teresa is full of s***. Jacqueline wrote that at the time of Teresa’s nephews birth, she and Teresa were out together. Teresa’s sister-in-law is not black, but she and Teresa do not get along.

      Teresa has said and written so many different stories about her ‘nephew’ that she can’t keep them straight and her Bravo blog is another of those stories. Teresa was stunned (it took her a while) when she finally realized that Danielle knew about Joe’s ‘nephew’ and because of that, Teresa went on the attack. I totally agree with Jose that it really hit a nerve with Teresa, otherwise she would not have had such a violent reaction.

      Teresa is just as deranged as Danielle and IMO, she and Danielle are much more alike than different. The major difference between the two is that Danielle has been schooled in the legal system by personal experience, so when she pushes Teresa’s buttons, she knows what to say and how far to go before going over the legal line. After the ‘nephew’ comment and Teresa went berserk, Danielle walked away and looked back, smirking at Teresa. Danielle knew exactly what she was doing and had that look of satisfaction on her face. Teresa, on the other hand, is devious but is stupid when it comes to when and how to draw the line. Danielle was sitting there hoping that Teresa would lay just one finger on her, just a wisp of a touch, just a teeny tiny hint of a little finger. Teresa was lucky she had Andy trying to hold her back, ’cause Danielle would have loooved to have smacked an assault and battery charge on her. Danielle is devious, but Danielle is scary, criminally devious.

      Teresa is stupid in other ways: she brags that she has a college degree (a fashion certificate from a training academy is not a college degree); she clearly is not an educated person as she is often grammatically incorrect and has difficulty pronouncing and enunciating words; she considers herself monetarily rich (no one, other than the nouveau riche, brags about their Gucci dinnerware… if you had real money, you would have either inherited your dinnerware or purchased Waterford, Lalique or had your own pattern custom made), but is $11 million in debt; she is ignorant of how to present herself and needs constant attention and reassurance from those around her (I’m nice, ain’t I Joe?, ‘Cause I’m a nice person, right Jacqueline?).

      Teresa would be smart to just stay away from Danielle and to let anything she says roll off her, but she is childish and her immediate reaction is to attack. Teresa is frustrated because she thinks of herself as a wonderful, kind, intelligent woman who is a real housewife (uh, does she think no one knows that her mother and father who live in her basement watch the kids and cook?) but her facade is slowly peeling away and the truth is creeping out. Teresa is clearly no match for Danielle. And Teresa knows that Danielle knows. What Teresa doesn’t know is how much Danielle knows and that is eating at her. Teresa is just too dumb to get in the ring with Danielle; she tries, but Danielle will eat her up… and she’ll do it legally.

  13. Danielle disgusts me, and I agree with many here, that she stirs shit up off camera, and tries to look victimized on camera.
    I will never be team Danielle, because I have a brain.
    If she truly believes in spirituality, she will see Karma hit her square across the face.

    • Danielle explanation of why she calls her peeps Mafia instead of Team was typical. Because a team is a group of people working together towards a common (usually good) goal whereas a Mafia is a group of people lying, cheating, stealing & killing. Appropriate.

      hb

  14. B-side, I’m disappointed at the Danielle support in your blog – sure Teresa is tacky, stupid, etc., but dirty D has asked for every bit of those reactions. She lights the fuse of the bomb, then sits back and acts like she’s never seen the bomb before. A perfect example: the “psychological FU” she gave Chris which, when she was called on the carpet for it, she tried to say was her saying the past was behind them. She’s delusional and scary. The level of emotion that Jac and Teresa showed is not just bitchy wOmAn ganging up, its clear they have been tormented off-screen by her. Caroline did a fantastic job of calling her out on just SOME of her lies. She’s pitiful and I feel so sorry for her kids.

    • THANK YOU! Watching the Housewives series is normally a weird sort of sociological study of a cultural subset that is amusing because they are so different than us. We ask, can they really be this vapid, materialistic, ect.?We all have our different favorites, and some will inevitably be on the villains side (Vicky, Jill, Nene, ect). I get that. But Danielle is really crazy and harmful to these women, and for people to still root for her is mindbogglingly to me…

    • that people may actually feel some sympathy for Danielle just goes to show you how out of control those other stupid bitches are. Now THAT was systematically bullying. What? They can bring up all kinds of shit on danielle – even 25 year old crap – but she can’t say anything about them? Fuck that.

  15. This reunion was insufferable, but in kind of a good way (if that’s possible.) All of these women are so stupid that I can’t be team anybody. Even Caroline got on my nerves with her dramatics “HOW DARE YOU SAY FUCK YOU TO MY SON!!!!” (I dunno, just didn’t seem like that big of a deal to me at the time) but Teresa definitely lost in this one. She looked like a complete psychopath with a tacky dress on. Danielle is a manipulative, psychopathic liar and Jacqueline is just a follower who goes where the wind blows. However, none of this will stop me from watching the conclusion next week. FML.

  16. Best part for me was when Danielle was discussing how Theresa got in her face with Andy…”what was to stop her from slapping me?” or something to that effect…I was waiting for the proverbial follow-up comment “And then my daughters don’t have a mother……”

    Also loved Danielle chanting some mantra about being amazing and amazing things happening with her hairdresser.

    Theresa came off looking the worst because of her inability to stop making everything about Danielle and what a whore/bitch/liar/etc she is. I was shocked at how well Danielle handled herself….clearly all part of her act, and obviously we don’t know everything that goes on off camera.

    • Let’s face it: Except for Caroline, they are all HORRIBLE human beings. Better use of these imbeciles would be to replace them all (except C) for the rats they use in human testing trials.
      See how it feels, Teresa, when they skin you alive and put you on the back of some over grown rat! Same to you, Jack-o-Lantern. And Danielle, I’d love to see you in the zoo behind a cage that says: “Do not feed the animals”.
      You’re all awful. Now, just GO AWAY!!!

      • Oh please, Carolyn ain’t any better than the rest of them. She excuses horrible behavior in Teresa but lays into Danielle about her horrible behavior? she nothing but a sanctimonious hypocrit.

  17. The Reunion was great!

    Theresa looked like a complete freak. The only time she was calm was when she was explaining about her financial mess. It seemed like it took all her focus to stick to the script she was given.

    Caroline is just an all-around great person, well spoken and makes her points well.

    I thought for sure that Bside would have used Caroline’s quote about Danny being a s”weathog reject”.

    Danielle is scary and creepy. But her boobjob looks good. Her boots on the other hand were stupid.

    And the only person who should be allowed to call Danielle “garbage” is Caroline. She used it first. It is a great zinger when Caroline uses it, but for some reason when T or J say it it doesn’t have the same effect.

    The problem with T and J is that they are not smart. They resort to name calling instead of making points and explaining things like Caroline does.

  18. Why didn’t Andy (or Danielle?!?) call Teresa out on her stupid lies about her financial situation? I LMAO when she made the comment about “do you believe everything in the NY Post?” WTH you stupid twat? The bankruptcy filings are PUBLIC domain. Anyone can see them. Then she tries to make it sound like “really? $85,000 in debt to Marshall’s (or whatever it was) really, who gets in debt like that?” like it was a lie told on by some reporter. The figures for their $11 million debt came from . .. drum roll . . . THEM. They were the ones that had to detail the list of all their creditors and what they owed them. No one pulled that outta their ass.

    Geez, Teresa’s the dumbest bitch on the planet. And considering KKB is just across the hudson that’s saying a lot.

  19. I’m watching the reunion and as write. Why is jacqueline always looking down her nose as she sits there. It is annoying and what’s with her always giving input and defending Theresa’s financial mess. Plus, her nose does not fit her face and I’m wondering if she had a nose job because it looks teeny tiny, like Michael Jacksons. And yes, I agree, Ashlee is the dead-eyed one, not Danielle’s. And another agreement that Jacq spent alot of time combing over Danielle’s past, present and future. She’s a big fat liar.

    Theresa is dumb as they come and it shows when she loses her temper like a child and jumps off the couch. How stupid does she think the viewers are regarding her financial problems and Joe’s dui. she is like a cat on a hot tin roof sitting on the edge of the couch. i think she was the more nervous of the bunch, which is rightly deserved siince she is trying to cover up all the crap in her life. Hope she’s back next year.

    I thought Danielle came off very well. She came off very scary during the season, but during the reunion, she seemed cool as a cucumber. theresa was the scary one and what a face. any more makeup and her mug and it would have slid off into her huge cleavage (or whatever theresa call it).

    Caroline should be ashamed of herself for not taking back her comment about danielle’s dead-eyed kids. regardless of what goes on btwn the wives, the kids should not have been criticized and I thought caroline was a bigger person. but maybe when she lost the 25 lbs, with that went her sensitivity. and why is she always defending theresa? maybe theresa’s husband et al throws alot of business towards the brownstone?? can’t figure that one out. i believe the theresa we see on the reunion is the real theresa. tacky, rude and immature.

    • I will not be there and I will not clap!Pu-Lease…anything to be in the public eye, these frigging narcissists! Why won’t they just go away!?

  20. Caroline said her children have no light in their eyes… not nice.
    Danielle calling a child a coke whore and telling her she’s fat and to lose upper arm flab on facebook etc… not nice…and also way worse than someone mentioning it to friends at lunch….

    Caroline wrong? Yes.

    Danielle psycho and will stop at nothing? YES!!

  21. I’m certainly not on team Danielle, but regardless of what she may have done to the manzo+ clan off-screen, nothing excuses Theresa’s behavior toward her in the reunion show. These women are all class-less, mean-spirited hypocrites who can’t seem to find anything better to do with their lives then verbally assault one another about the same nothingness over and over again. I can no longer stand to watch the show, but I do find the characters fascinating in a freak-show, I-can’t-believe-the-world-has-come-to-this-sort of way and relish your reading your blog for the hysterical commentary!

    • I think it has to do with rumors that Joe has a girlfriend on the side who suposedly has a baby boy. That is why she went ballistic & said that Danielle is not going to break up her family. Also, suposedly again, Danielle hired a private detective to dig up dirt like that on the other housewives. So yeah, they are pretty angry with her if the rumors are true. Who knows?

      • Isn’t it strange that they can dig up all the dirt they want on her and expose it to 3 million people, but should she just happen to say one word (let me think here….. NEPHEW), she is the undeniable spawn of Satan? I mean she may be an ancestor of King Kong, but pu-lease so is Teresa.
        Still waiting for the men in the white coats…….

  22. One thing I didn’t understand…Danielle said that she was able to throw her daughter’s sweet 16 with donations made to a Cystic Fibrosis charity, does her child have the disease? If not how were those things allowed to be used for the party?

    Anyway, in my opinion delusional is far worse than stupid. Delusional people will stop at nothing to prove their delusions, I doubt Theresa has the brain power to pull anything like that off.

  23. Theresa has stolen so much money from people and continues to have no shame. She is a bona Fide criminal. Danielle is just weird and pathetic.

  24. I think Theresa better watch out. She appears to be losing Caroline’s blessing and friendship.

    1. Caroline stating she wouldn’t be friends with T if she acted like that all the time (the screaming, etc…)

    2. Lauren did J and Caroline’s makeup for the reunion show – not T’s.

    3. The comments made on the Italy trip – and T’s subsequent blog responses to them. Ouch!

    There may be more, but I sensed Caroline pulling back. She may defend her, but it looks to me like she was saying “this is the last time, anymore and you are on your own.”

  25. Lots of great comments…here are a few of my thoughts

    I think that next season we will see a definite distance between Theresa and the Manzos (at least Caroline). We’ve seen the cracks in the friendship with the Italy trip and Theresa’s behavior. I’n not sure where Jaqueline will fit into this picture, since she’s as juvenile as Theresa in this whole Danielle mess. Jaqueline reminds of the second coolest girl in high school, always hiding behind the cool girl and often more mean spirited than her.

    Although I wish it weren’t aired on national television, I have to agree with Caroline’s comments about Danielle’s girls having dead eyes. I get a Mommie Dearest vibe in every scene with Danielle and her daughters. I feel so sorry for them-why, oh why won’t their father try to get custody of them?

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