Shocking ‘American Idol’ Results Finally Push Show Over Cliff and Into a Void of Pointlessness

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It happens every season. Well, maybe not LAST season when NOTHING happened. But every other season, there’s been someone who’s gone home way too early — perhaps most famously Jennifer Hudson, who didn’t even break the top five (or Chris Daughtry who missed the top three). Now this tenth season has been marred by a shocking, shocking elimination, and from it we’ve all learned a most valuable lesson. No, it’s not that we should always vote. It’s that the dumbass judges shouldn’t waste their save on annoying singers like Casey Abrams.

Yes, the jaw-dropping news is that Pia Toscano — the odds on favorite to win the whole thing — was ELIMINATED from Idol. This was not a joke; although, when my friend Andrea texted me about it, I thought for sure she was pulling my chain. Pia somehow wound up with the lowest number of votes, which I like to think is a testament to how much better she was than everyone else. After all, her elimination had to have been the result of voter complacency.

Without her, I’m not sure who I can throw my weight behind. Not Casey. He’s boring, indulgent, and annoying. And now we can add one more item to the list: a SAVE-STEALER! That’s not really his fault, but we’ll blame him anyway.

I can’t back Stefano, who also was in the bottom two and who also should have headed home. Sure, he’s cute like a little lemur, but he’s an arrogant lemur, and I simply don’t dig his musical style.

There’s Haley, who has a pretty good voice, but her affectations make me wish she’d fall through a trapdoor. And her awkward movements across the stage always feel like a teen girl playing the part of an older performer. (But at least she’s no Paris Bennett)

There’s Scotty McCreery, but who am I kidding? He lost his novelty appeal for me a few weeks ago, and besides, he doesn’t need my help. He has every red state out there dialing in ten times over.

There’s Jacob Lusk, but he sounds less like a singer and more like an AM radio trying to find reception. Plus, his ego came out strong this week when he told us that if he wound up in the bottom three, it wouldn’t be because he sang “Man in the Mirror” badly. Well, guess what? He DID wind up in the bottom three, and he DID sing the song badly.

There’s Paul McDonald, but let’s be honest — his appeal has worn thin. He’s the closest one left to being a natural performer, but I would never, ever go to one of his shows or buy one of his CDs. He belongs in last season.

There’s Lauren, but she’s generic and forgettable.

That leaves us with James, who might just be the best of the worst. He’s a poseur, that’s for sure. The bandana in the hair? The earring? It’s like he’s playing a rocker from what he’s seen in the movies (from 1989). I hate fakers like him, but he puts on a show, and he knows how to perform; so I begrudgingly have to root for him.

But really, America? Pia?

If Simon were around, he would have never saved Casey. Just sayin’.

And with all this Pia talk, it completely overshadows the second most shocking part of the night: that Iggy Pop performed on AMERICAN IDOL. I can’t imagine many tweens had any idea what was going on, and I also can’t imagine J-Lo enjoying the shirtless AARP member writhing in front of her, but for the rest of us, it was pretty amusing.

Nevertheless, what did you think about the elimination? Did America choose poorly? Or was Pia just a lot of hype anyway? And do we think the judges learned their lesson?

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10 thoughts on “Shocking ‘American Idol’ Results Finally Push Show Over Cliff and Into a Void of Pointlessness

  1. I was really shocked that Pia was voted. In my opinion, she was by far the best of the competition and should have won it all. I too am having a hard time finding someone else to back. I might just remove American Idol from DVR…I just don’t care anymore.

    The judges should feel horrible for wasting their save on Casey. Your assessment of him is right on…he is boring, indulgent and annoying!!

  2. American Idol has jumped the proverbial shark for the last time. The show really loses all credibility when gifted performers such as Pia & good ol Robbie from Hollywood week go home & we are forced to withstand the likes of Haley with her constant growl & Stefano with his constantly closed eyes & unimpressive vocals. Ugg, American Idol! I’m so disappointed.

  3. I found Pia to be kinda meh, perhaps because I imagined her to be very much like Rachel (Glee) off-stage, BUT she by far had the best actual singing chops on this season and was the last person who should have been voted off based on this week’s performances. Boo, America! Boo, I say! (I’m backing Paul, but mostly cos I think he’s goofy and was a HS classmate of a friend.)

    Maybe Pia can pull a Hudson now, though?

  4. Whoever you decide to root for now, it better be a guy because the women are getting knocked off one by one, just like an outnumbered team on Survivra.

    There’s only two girls left, and not one guy (except for Casey that one time) has been eliminated. go figure. Probably tells us a little about who actually votes.

  5. Yeah, I think Pia will be okay anyway. She can “pull a Hudson”. Actually, I think Pia is a better singer in this point of the game than J. Hud was during her season. J. Hud’s talent didn’t really shine (to me, anyways) until after she was voted off, kept singing/working, and then came back with Dream Girls.

    Pia will do the same if she works at it.

  6. Pia is in another stratosphere in relation to the remaining contestants. But as long as little 12 year old girls can text-vote 200 times for the boy they think is cutest, a girl may never again win AI. It should be one vote per voter. But alas, there is hope as Nigel Lythgoe, the producer has said that while they will not limit the number of times a person can vote(RIDICULOUS) they may start allowing the judges to choose who, from the bottom three goes home. That would work for me.

    And for those of you who question the talent of Pia Tuscano, go to Youtube and pull up two videos of “I’ll Stand By You”, Pia’s version she sang in AI, and Carrie Underwood’s version that she also sang on AI. Keep in mind I LOVE Carrie U. I will buy anything she puts out. However in this particular comparison, she loses. And it is not even close. See for yourselves.

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