With the Real Housewives of New York City heading off on an epic three-week Moroccan odyssey tonight, it looks like the tensions between Ramona Singer and Countess LuAnn de Lesseps will be reaching a new level. This is a particularly impressive feat considering the epic history of friction between the two ladies; an animosity that first boiled over in season two (prior to that, we only had offhand digs, such as LuAnn mocking Ramona’s hat at an equestrian event in the Hamptons). Their clashes are equal parts hilarious and cringe-inducing, and we can only imagine what insanity will be in store for us in Northern Africa.
To help get you in the mood, let’s take a look back at the best Ramona vs. LuAnn moments. I couldn’t contain the list to a mere five clips; so here are the seven best altercations (that I could find on Hulu).
7. Wine tasting
This posturing between Ramona and LuAnn is nothing splashy, but it does exemplify the tensions between the women. It’s the best wine pairing of all: classic LuAnn condescension with spicy Ramona exasperation.
6. Ramona tries to turn Simon and Alex against Countess
What starts off as a benign moment goes real ugly, real quickly. It all starts when Ramona mistakenly thinks LuAnn is talking crap about her husband Mario. What else to do but go for the jugular? It’s Ramona’s signature style, and before LuAnn can even get the “Daaaaar” of “Daaaaarling” out of her mouth, Ramona has already savaged her and turned Alex and Simon against her. Trademark Singer. And it all stems from the next clip…
5. Don’t Call her COUNTLESS!
Season three opened on a cantankerous note as LuAnn was still reeling from not just a divorce but a cruel remark Mario Singer muttered under his breath: COUNTLESS! That’s right, it’s the landmark insult heard ’round the world (or at least the Hamptons). Mario called the Countess “Countless,” and now LuAnn wants an apology. With Jill right by her side, she takes Ramona to town with the sort of cold WASPy rage we’ve come to expect from LuAnn. Tears and shrieking ensue…
4. Reunited, and It Feels So Tense
The season two reunion was unlike anything we had seen (little did we realize how much crazier these reunions would get). The women bickered to no end, and LuAnn happily mocked Ramona’s crazy eyes again. I don’t have a clip of that moment, but I do have them fighting about other stuff, namely the CANCER SOCIETY (never the CANCER SOCIETY!).
3. Thug In A Cocktail Dress Rears Her Head
These are two clips, but they come from the same episode and quite frankly, they’re like World War I and World War II: perhaps history will look back at them as just one BIG war. These confrontations only just aired last week and already they’re classic. The first clip sadly omits LuAnn’s opening attack, which starts off with her complimenting Ramona’s wine tasting event sweetly before adding “too bad you had CHEAPEN IT by having it out with Jill in front of your guests.” From there, the two women trade barbs, leading up to the second clip, which features LuAnn in rare form. Gone are her attempts at refined put-downs. In their place are incredulous statements such as “that’s a BITCHY thing to do!” Most amazing of all though: it’s Ramona who keeps her cool, not LuAnn. So funny, so bizarre, and so out of character that it just has to be an instant classic.
2. Ramona Calls LuAnn a Slut.
When it comes to cringe-worthy moments, nothing tops this fateful phone call, which has Jill chatting with Ramona on speakerphone while LuAnn quietly listens, her presence unannounced. This leads to immediate awkwardness as Ramona proceeds to TEAR INTO LuAnn, saying the sort of vile things one might not want to say to someone’s face. LuAnn takes it in stride, but the ensuing years of passive-aggression show that LuAnn may forgive, but she never forgets. And never was that more true than with the number one clip on the list…
1. Not At The Cancer Society. NEVER At The Cancer Society!
This is the mother of all fights (at least by press time). All seems well at first until Ramona deigns to note that LuAnn’s husband is old. This unhinges the Countess, who accuses a stunned Ramona of being rude before mocking her crazy eyes and disparaging Mario. The best part of all, however, is that in an attempt to smooth things over, Ramona does not apologize but instead digs a deeper and deeper and deeper hole. And then she digs some more. She does eventually say sorry after the clip ends, but the damage has already been irrevocably done. And thank God! Where would we be without it?
What are your favorite Ramona and LuAnn moments? And whose side do you generally take?