Bravo did the old bait and switch on the latest episode of Real Housewives of New York City. The preview had shown all sorts of drama surrounding LuAnn and her music video, but what actually aired was none of that. Instead we were left with a pretty dull episode — perhaps the worst of the season — that featured Sonja prepping for a gratuitous burlesque party. It was all rather humdrum, and quite frankly, I don’t think many viewers really cared to see Sonja uttering meaningless, sassy remarks while writhing on a chair.
There were some noteworthy dollops of activity strewn throughout the hour. LuAnn attempted to teach her daughter Victoria how to drive, an endeavor that looked about as scary as diving head first into a gnarling combine. Ramona, meanwhile, was moved to tears by Avery’s sweet essay about her. However, Avery giveth and taketh away. Mere seconds after having praised her mother as a role model, she then complained that Ramona was never home. Oh the travails of a teen daughter.
As for Jill and Simon, they finally squashed their dumb beef, all while wearing pseudo-Belle Époque garb. It was bizarre.
Photocap after the jump…
“I love this boa. I can’t wait to flush it down my toilet!”
“These pasties have the worst manners. OFF OF MY BREASTS!”
“Victoria, look behind you. Pretend Alex is standing there. Now RUN HER OVER.”
“My love, you are all over the road! Have you been taking driving lessons in QUOGUE again?”
“My mom is my biggest role model. She showed me that someday I can start my own business and then get drunk on TV and make a fool of myself and my family in front of the country. I hope that when I’m older, I too can embarrass my daughter by giving my husband an oil rub in a chair. The End.”
“Ugh. Where is my necklace. Can someone check the toilet?”
“I like this look. It makes me look desperate but not slutty with just a dash of sadness.”
“This drink is weird. It’s weird. It’s weird. Close your eyes, LuAnn. Now open them. It’s a weird drink.”
LuAnn: “Well, I think it’s lovely.”
“It’s not lovely. It’s sad.”
“Yes… but mainly lovely.”
“It’s sad. And weird. Who’s going to get me a beer? Santa?”
“I AM SO HORNY RIGHT NOW.”
LuAnn: “I love the way this sounds. And that gentleman certainly has a sexy voice.”
“That’s not a gentleman. It’s you.”
“Oy vey, LuAnn. Why did you make this song? And why am I kiiind of starting to like it??”
“OH MY GAWD!! BAWWWBBY!!! LOOK AT ALL THE FAAAABRIC!!!”
“Please, Jill. Tell me that at least YOU can see that I’ve styled my mustache.”
“I see nothing.”
Sonja: “No one would be freaked out if I transformed into a swan on stage, right?”