Brenchel has been backed into a corner on Big Brother, and I thought for sure this would lead to some major Rachel fireworks, but the scientist was rather subdued in her post-nomination emotions. Sure, she compared herself to Excalibur (playing upon Daniele’s bungling of the metaphor “you drew first blood” — she said “first sword”), but other than that, Rachel didn’t scream or fight or get all bratty. Maybe that’s because Daniele has already schooled her once or twice in arguments last week. Or maybe that’s because CBS just hasn’t aired the juiciest stuff yet. I don’t know.
What I am certain of is that this season has turned 100% into the Veterans Show. The new kids exists solely as voters, loyal soldiers for their masters. They don’t have any loyalty to each other, which is kind of hilarious given how vulnerable this makes them. Then again, they don’t have to do anything these days except watch the Vets destroy each other. This week Daniele has gone after Brenchel. Next week, Jeff will go after Daniele. And in the end, we’ll have a showdown between Lawon and Adam for the half-million dollar prize.
One thing is for certain, Brenchel isn’t dead just yet. Technically, they have a chance to survive. Brendon of course won the Veto and vowed to use it on his lady, but in a stunning bit of strategy, he and Rachel pretended that he was going to use the Veto on… himself. Ooooooh. Nothing like pointless arbitrary deception. I think they were hoping that they’d catch Daniele off-guard, causing her to make a rushed and ill-conceived replacement nominee selection, but given that it’s not very difficult to plan for BOTH scenarios (Rachel coming off vs. Brendon coming off), Daniele was golden. It also helped that she was going to nominate Jordan no matter what. And so that’s what happened. Brendon saved Rachel and then preened about as if he had just executed one of the top ten classic Big Brother moves of all time. Fingers crossed that the neanderTAL gets the boot tonight…
Brendon: “A hug from one of Santa’s elves? Wow. Christmas literally does come early!”
“Daniele needs to know that if I pulled the first sword, then she pulled the second, and I just pulled the third, and it’s Excalibur, and it’s, like, such a strong sword. I’m, like, the best sword pulling person EVAR.”
“Metaphorical knights grab your swords!!!”
Brendon: “Wouldn’t it be awesome if we were sealed at the head? Or technically, the cranium? I know that word because I’m a PhD student.”
“I don’t want you to go, baby.”
“I don’t want you to go, Booki.”
“You’re my best friend. And please don’t call me Booki.”
“But Booki…”
“[sniff sniff] Okay, you can call me Booki. But only if you say, ‘Booki, PhD.'”
“You’re making me cry. WHO’S READY FOR DOUBLE TEARDROP TROUBLE??”
“I don’t want to be away from Rachel. I don’t want to go home. But then again… I WOULD be able to send pictures of my penis to more girls.”
“Don’t mind me, Rachel. I’m just trying to figure out if you’re partially an idiot or a full-fledged brain-dead twit.”
“This pillow is soft! It reminds me of clouds. And clouds make me think of, like, rain. And rain makes flowers grow. And when I was little, I’d take daisies and make a little crown around my head. And crowns are like hats. And I like top hats. You know, like a magician. And that makes me think of tricks. And… oh my gosh… Brendon is going to trick us by saying he’s going to use the veto on himself but he’ll really use it on Rachel!!!!”
“Settle down, Scarecrow and Mrs. King. How do you know Brendon’s even going to win the veto?”
“Well, um, I was thinking that this sofa is purple, and that’s like Grimace from McDonalds. And that made me think of Mayor McCheese, and like, Mayor McCheese must have a mansion since he’s the mayor. And rich people play golf. And that’s when I realized that there would be a putting green that Brendon would use to win the Veto competition. It’s pretty obvious.”
“HOOOO-WEEEE! It’s a Veto competition made up of past competitions? That’s CAH-RAY-ZEE!!!”
“I’m glad this challenge doesn’t involve serving drinks, otherwise I’d have to throw it, lest everyone discover my true, luxurious profession: VIP WAITRESS, which I’m NOT!”
“Ain’t no puzzle getting between me and MY Veto!!!! Oh wait, it just did.”
“Booyah! I just won the Veto, which means I can do awkward, forced smack talk!”
“HOOOOO-WEEEEEE! It is HOT up in here. What’s up with this weather. I’m like WHAAAAT?!”
“Hey baby, Booki got the Veto, and now I’m going to lick your nostril! Slurp slurp.”
“HOOOOOO-WEEEEE!!! I got pit stains that are touching each other. That’s CAH-RAY-ZEEE!!!!”
Brendon: “Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod let this hug happen.”
Brendon: “Ohhhhh yeeeeEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH.”
“Is it cool if I chew my cud up here?”
Jeff: “Hey bro, Jordan and I want to use the hammock.”
Brendon: “Well, I’m here already.”
“Hey hey. Settle down, Balki Bartokomous.”
Porche: “If that BITCH hoards one more apple…”
Rachel: “Ain’t no one coming between me and MY apples!”
“Hey everyone, it’s time for the Veto Ceremony wherein I will trick you all into thinking I’m saving myself but in fact I will save Rachel, and you all will be very, very surprised, which will result in no change in the game.”
“HA! We really showed them. Congrats, us!”
What did you think about the episode?
if brendon doesn’t go, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t think I can stand anymore of brenchal’s lovey-dovey crap! it’s like CBS wants me to quit watching.
Apparently, according to the CBS Big Brother captioner last night, the spelling is “Bukie.”
Which is spelled like Pukie … Which reminds me of Puke.
Which is amazingly accurate.
I’m sick of the Brenchel shit, let’s just go back to actual Big Brother… Bring in a fuckin Dr.Will wannabe, which I would prefer at this point… Barf.
A quote from the feeds: “Daniele’s soooooo not invited to our wedding!!”
is it ok if I chew my cud up here?
hahahHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA
Apparently CBS prefers Bukie.
The accidental genius Jordan strikes again! <3 Jordan.
I betcha we see some of Rachel’s waterworks tonight . Wonder if she will follow him out the door? say what you want, i love Jordan & jeff
HAHA…cud…ha! Hopefully cassie coms back next week. Im sick of Dicks Spawn and I love JJ. JJ/Cassie/Shelly to final 4!!!!!
How could you leave out Brendon’s amazing comment that he is going to cure cancer, then him and Rachel will be rich? I nearly fell out my chair laughing!
I really do think the newbs got maybe 4 minutes of actual air time. in the first 15 minutes alone the only newb that was actual shown was Shelly. Sure 3 newbs are gone, but there’s still… aw who am I kidding, they suck ass. Great recaps, and what’s funny about the Lawon DR recap is that’s just pretty much what he said lol. Also, I thought it was weird they gave him a big clock to look like Flava Flav…makes you think.
I loved Lawon’s impression of Flavor Flav.
hb
Huh huh you said cud huh huh………….You’re a scream!!! Love it!
The only reason she’s upset and started crying is because she realized he’s leaving before her and can flash his willy to everyone and she won’t be able to stop him. :O
Then Rachel will turn into the Sammi of the BB House…
I literally LOL’d at Scarecrow & Mrs. King and Balki Bartokomous! 🙂 Look forward to your photocaps every week. Great job!
oh that was so funny!!! I loved it.. wonderful.. =) Check out my blog about what HG’s are eating in the BB house, and check out my screen shot fun! =)
Hahahaha Shelly. That was the funniest, most random thing ever.
Sure Branden no rush on that Cancer Cure your only in your 30’s.
Hmmm….I wonder if Eintein would have taken a couple summers off if Big Brother has been around in the early 1900’s. Who know’s maybe Einieee would have been in a BB house with Jordan’s Great Grandma and the genius there could have been limitless.
Meant to type Einstein
I wonder how much trouble it would be for our dear B-Side to give us a Best of Jeff post from these recaps? “Settle down, Scarecrow and Mrs. King” is the best thing on the internet since yesterday when that mariachi band delighted the Beluga whale so and that thing was GREAT. I remember particularly loving a Jack Tripper one-probably why I will forgive Jeff almost* anything. (*really Jeff, I love you but I hope someone grills you about Dumbledore on finale night)
You would have thought with how concerned he is about being “handsomeified” that Lawon would have at least brought out that vomit colored patchwork thing again. He dressed like he was going to the grocery store to host the veto!
So with all the events of the last 2 weeks with Dom and now Brendon, I guess the chances of Cassi being the HG voted back in are slim? If they are doing that, which I hear that they might be? Loved her
I’m putting my disdain for the Donato aside this week and appreciating what she’s done to shake up the house. While I am definitely not rooting for her and believe she’s in trouble next week unless Kahlia wins HOH (hahaha yeah right), I have to say I laud the big move she’s made. Things were starting to get predictable (read: B-O-R-I-N-G); all of the newbies are devoid of any personality OR capability, a point that is underscored by the fact that the vets have won every single competition. I don’t see that trend changing any time soon.
Anyway, I think it was a shrewd play to put BOTH halves of Brenchel on the block to ensure that one of them goes home, which is obviously crucial for Daniele’s survival. If she had put up Brendon and Jeff she would HAVE to win the P.O.V. to make sure one of them went home. In addition, whoever survived would be gunning for her even more than before – this way at least she can claim pawn status for Jordan to smooth things over with J/J, and she cripples the steamroller that is team Brenchel. Say what you want about the two dolts, but you have to admit they WIN competitions, which is more than I can say for any of the other houseguests with the exception of J/J.
I look forward to seeing what happens tonight – I’m 98% sure Brendon is going home which should light the short fuse on that redheaded stick of dynamite named Rachel. OR it may cause her to go the other way – causing a meltdown of epic proportions and if that’s the case, all bets are off as far as predicting what she’ll do. She may even end up in some convoluted, behind-the-scenes alliance with Daniele (and this is actually probably her best strategy since she’d be on her own and nobody particularly LIKES her… but alas, methinks she’s a bit too impulsive and vindictive to think this through clearly). Who knows?
Ohhh my favourite Jeff comments are back and in full force!! Loved the Balki one…he was my favourite 🙂 Makes me want to watch my Perfect Stranger episodes on dvd 🙂
Your screen caps are hilarious – extra claps for Jeff’s TV characters and Jordan’s roundabout way to get to the right conclusions.
When I saw the one with Rachel jumping into NeanderTALs arms: “Oh yeeeahhhhhh double hugs! Neck hug and waist hug both at the same time! This has to be the way it will feel when I cure cancer”
Love the recaps, thanks so much!
Shocked you actually missed the obvious Lawon Flavor Flav Cah-rayyyyy-zee joke.
Maybe it was too obvious?
awww Booki!!!!!