REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NYC REUNION PHOTOCAP: Money Can’t Buy You Maturity

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Everyone knows I love me some Real Housewives of New York City, and I love me some reunion too. But this madness has reached a new low. I thought last week’s ninety-minute bitchfest represented a new low for the franchise, but it was nothing compared to last night’s parade of squabbling, which managed to make every single woman on screen look more idiotic than ever before. I’d be embarrassed to be related to, work for, or associated with any of them… but of course, I’d be thrilled if I ran any one of them on the street. What can I say? It’s all very love / hate.

There was something horrific in watching the women go at it last night. I think it was the rampant lack of self-awareness. It all played out like the worst schoolyard fight of all time, and while I understand that many of them had things they wanted to get off their chest, surely they could have found more productive ways to do so — like… maybe using indoor voices?

The whole thing was just more of the same. Alex was bonkers with rage once again, but I gotta admit, the brunettes were so obnoxious with their snide comments and upfront mockery of the blondes, that I felt some sort of empathy for the blondes. Sonja wisely stayed out of the fray for the most part this week, but Ramona more than made up for it with her usual combination of staunch self-defense and vicious attacks. One that outed Jill as a former AA attendee (allegedly) was particularly below-the-belt.

Amusingly, with all the harsh words being sent back and forth, when the scrutiny finally landed on LuAnn, she brushed off all her condescending and obnoxious comments by saying she was just having a little bit of fun. For someone who seems ready to take umbrage at the slightest offense (ie. a pregnancy test on a boat), she seems pretty quick to take on the role of casual jokester. Even more curious was LuAnn’s refusal to admit that she makes little digs at people. Perhaps that’s because she seems to think digs are only digs when they’re said behind one’s back. Who knows? Nevertheless, props to LuAnn for her passive-aggressive praise for Bethenny, to whom she referred as finally catching up to the rest of the gang money-wise. Not to burst LuAnn’s bubble, but methinks Bethenny has caught up, run circles around, and left all the gals in the dust.

Anyhoo… this second ninety-minute reunion special gave me a headache, and I can barely even remember anything that happened during it. At attempt at a photocap after the jump…

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Sonja: “I’m very sad. I just saw a video on the internet of a duck riding a ferris wheel, and it really touched me.”

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Sonja: “[sniff sniff] I dropped a seven million dollar check from my ex-husband down the toilet.”

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LuAnn: “Try not to stare, but Alex sort of looks like an angry carrot right now.”

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Alex: “I see you staring, Jill. And I’m not an angry carrot.”

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“Oh, I was just having some fun with you, Alex! Lighten up. Just having fun!”

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“Well, if I’m a carrot, then you’re a turnip.”

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LuAnn: “IT’S NOT YOUR TURN TO SPEAK, ALEX. AND IF YOU’RE GOING TO HURL INSULTS LIKE THAT, I WOULD HOPE THAT YOU’D NEVER SPEAK AT ALL.”

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“But you just called me a carrot.”

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“Oh, I was just having fun with you.”

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“And I was having fun with you!”

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LuAnn: “Oh please, Alex. You’re just rude.”

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“Everyone stop ganging up on Alex! The more we bash her, the longer it’ll take to get to the bar afterwards.”

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Kelly: “I’d like to say that I’m a nice person. I’m, like, REALLY nice. And in that spirit, you all should know that Alex is a bad actress.”

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“Don’t you love that Kelly? Just having some fun!”

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Alex: “KELLY IS OFFENSIVE! YOU’RE ALL OFFENSIVE!”

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Jill: “I’m not offensive. I’m very nice. Everything I say comes from a good place, and sometimes things come out wrawwng.”

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“That’s what I always say!”

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LuAnn: “Don’t listen to her. She’s wasted.”

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Andy: “LuAnn, do you give digs?”

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LuAnn: “I do no such thing. I say what I feel exactly to someone’s face.”

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“Yeah, but you can still give a dig to someone to their face.”

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LuAnn: “Andy, I do no such thing, and if Ramona thinks I give little digs, that’s probably just a byproduct of her latent alcoholism.”

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“You just gave a dig!”

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“Who me? I was just having some fun!”

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“Well, I think Jill’s an alcoholic also.”

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LuAnn: “Ramona, have you no dignity? You have crossed the line. No class.”

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“Don’t say that word.”

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Jill: “I… I can’t deal.”

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Cindy: “I would like to say something about Ramona and her alcoholism. When I had my party in Quogue–“

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Sonja: “UGH. QUOGUE. DON’T REMIND ME.”

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Cindy: “Can I get a word in here?”

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Jill: “Anyway, I just want to say that Alex is garbage.”

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LuAnn: “Herman Munster shoes. Great line by me.”

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Kelly: “Um, I came up with the Herman Munster shoe line. Because I’m so nice.”

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Alex: “I HATE YOU ALL!”

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“WE HATE YOU!”

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Wait… what? When did this happen?

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Alex does an impersonation of America after three hours of this mess.

What did you think about the second part of the reunion? Did anyone else notice how quickly Andy Cohen wrapped it up, forgoing the usual champagne toast at the end?

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45 thoughts on “REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NYC REUNION PHOTOCAP: Money Can’t Buy You Maturity

  1. “One that outed Jill as a former AA attendee (allegedly) was particularly below-the-belt.”

    i thought Below-the-belt was the name of the game, Ramona just said that after Jill said she was a drunk, crazy, bad mother, selfish, old, menopausal and that her husband was cheating on her and everybody knew but her

    • I absolutely agree. why is it ok for Jill to ‘out’ Ramona as an alcoholic, but Ramona can’t say anything about Jill? fuck that. I really hated the typical passive/aggressive Jill comment about how she just “heard in her social circle that Mario had been cheating.” Like that absolves her of all bitchiness – was that coming from a good place? I don’t think so.

    • You’ve been called out BSide! You are sooo freakin’ funny!! But agreed- you are unfairly harsh of Ramona. A lil like you are a bit rough on Rachel BB13. what is it with strong women who tells it like it is, and are emotional. Granted sometimes a lil over the top-sometimes too self centered about it. But they are honest about how they feel and hey own it. People are scared of truth. The brunettes on that couch are all delusional and MEAN girls. Bethenny was not a thing like em she def would be on the blondes couch. Keep up your truths we all adore your blogs and look forward to ‘em! Thanks

  2. Also, the contempt that the dark haired women of the group show towards Alex was beyond comprehension. Who would want to associate with people who think that sort of behavior towards another human being is acceptable? I have never really cared for Alex but I felt very sympathetic towards her during the show.

    Also, Andy deserves some sort of prize for enduring such ridiculousness.

    • I agree with you. While I think Alex and Simon are a very strange couple, I found it funny how Jill & Luanne kept getting so “offended” when Ramona brought up anything about Luanne’s daughter or ex-husband, claiming that the other family members should be left alone. Yet none of the brunettes had any trouble bashing Simon on camera.

      • . . . or Alex’s kids in previous seasons. I guess it’s not that “kids” are off limits, just LuMann’s kids.

      • I really don’t understand why people persist in calling Alex and Simon
        “strange”. I just don’t see that adjective applying to them and never heard
        an explanation. It’s almost like people are reaching for something negative to
        say and that seems to be all they can come up with.
        According to my observation, both are extremely hardworking, responsible individuals doing their very best to provide for their children, expose them to
        art and culture, give them the best possible education and create a loving, caring
        environment for them to grow and flourish. All of those things seem perfectly normal to me, in fact, that is exactly my purpose and goal in raising my own five children. They seem concerned about our economy, our rights and freedoms, the arts and entertainment, government etc. I just dont get “strange”, “weird”, “odd”, etc. They are two of the most normal people on reality tv.
        They may have eccentric taste in fashion and decorating, but thats what makes people interesting. They seem to have a zest for life and at the core of both of them I find them to be good souls. I, personally, admire, appreciate and embrace both of them.

  3. I have read bside for a long time now and have always enjoyed the photo recaps but it was hard to make this hate-fest amusing. I feel sorry for all of them. I never liked LuAnn and never liked Kelly. They are both as fake as they can be. Jill was once fun and funny, but she’s become a victim of her own imagined fame. Ramona is unimaginable as a business person. Sonja is living in the past and Cindy was lost in this crowd. Alex needs desparately to go back to Brooklyn and take care of her boys and try to have a normal life.
    I take it back. I don’t feel sorry for any of them. All’s I know is I am a very nice person and all these women are weird and creepy. I’m going to take my panties and have me a large pinot. Seriously? I am done with this show.

  4. Its time for a new cast, these women are all angry and bitter and its not fun to watch

    Props to Andy he gets the questions out there,and like always, we don’t get the answers

    I wonder what will happen if Bravo does recast ohh that is the sad side of reality TV when your life is no longer needed, what will these women do to stay relevant?

  5. Love your website! I haven’t smiled in just about 24 hours. The reunion left me depressed. Grown women acting like junior high girls. The show has run it’s course. Maybe all HW have.

  6. I went back and forth for the entire season thinking this one is vile and this one isn’t so vile. Never having a favorite even after watching B-side Housewife Hoedown weekly.
    I think B-Side was on the Kelly train all season, I would like to know how B-Side feels about Kelly now, because I think she was crazy horrible during this reunion.
    They all are horrible truthfully.
    Will there be another season? I can’t see these bitches getting together again without some major therapy.

    • Kelly is the WORST. She’s not nice, she’s not funny, she’s not intelligent, she’s NOT attractive. Period.

      • Agreed–Kelly is so very stupid. And the fact that she thinks she is smart makes it worse.

        • I don’t understand how Kelly functions alone in society. She is a horrible hot mess.

    • I still want to know HOW and WHY she was voted on top 5 list of anything, let alone being NICE. shes a complete condescending bitch.

      • Totally agree with all the Kelly hate – she is ridiculously infuriating. Alex gets a teeny bit of credit with me for not spontaneously combusting in frustration and anger at the way Kelly kept relentlessly coming at her.

        • I agree..and when Jill was massaging Kelly’s feet I wanted to throw something at the televison.

  7. For the sake of a good story I’m all for the willing suspension of disbelief, but there’s no way in hell I’ll be able to suspend my disbelief enough next season when things resume as if this disaster of a reunion never happened.

    I have many a year of reality tv viewing under my belt so it takes a helluva lot to offend me, but if Bravo continues to try and pass off this gaggle of bitches as “friends” next season I’m done. I hope Andy takes Neil Patrick Harris’ advice to heart and give this entire bunch the axe. The only way the RHONY can redeem itself from this ugly season is to rebuild from scratch.

    • My thought exactly John.How can anyone feign friendship with a person who calls them an “effin bitch” behind their back and then in front of their face.I noticed Jill intimating that “If” they came back for another season they’ll act civilised towards each other.

  8. Wasn’t there a rumor going around before this season started filming that they were going to be letting people (i.e. Alex) go if they didn’t start bringing the drama? If you ask me she brought this all on herself. Her style of fighting seems to be a 45 minute prologue telling everyone she’s about to make a point, by the time she’s ready to make it she’s been kicked out/abandoned at whatever event she’s at.

    But they were all awful.

    What was with those odd comments at the end about if the Count knows if Jacques is Jewish?

    • Last season, Luann was telling someone that if she dated someone who was Jewish the Count would just DIE. I don’t recall why that would be, but that is what they were referring to.

      • DId you see the look CIndy gave Luann when the whole Jewish thing was mentioned?

        I would also like to point out Cindy is wearing the ugliest shoes I’ve ever seen.

        I can’t watch Jill another season. She is just awful!

    • So, does LuMann’s ettique book contain a chapter on how to properly deal when one is married to a racist?

    • They weren’t odd. You don’t watch andys show. She said outright that count doesn’t do Jewish. Period. No no rumors about Alex being ousted. Alex is truly from old money and class. She doesn’t have the schoolyard behavior of these women who married into money. She has class and has tried to rise above the nonsense for years as they berated her husband, kids, home, and herself. She finally stands up for herself and she’s not as smooth and outspoken and ready to slam people and shut ‘em up and shut them down. She wants to actually discuss things. Go rent all the seasons and watch how these monsters have evolved into terrorists

  9. I commented last week and this weeks show cements my views – time to go ladies.
    On another note, why did they not air the Alex\Jill smooch you have a screencap of? Was this before or after Jill called her an effing bitch? I did laugh at the very end when the credits were rolling and Ramona slid off the lounge on to the floor – I detested her just a little less seeing that.

  10. I LOVE the ‘just having some fun’ photo you use of Luann by herself. It’s just the perfect haughty Countess smirk.

    Also, as much as I hate Kelly, her shoes were kind of amazing. Remind me of the wonderful ones Jill wore last year that still had the price sticker stuck to the bottom for the whole Reunion. Ahh Season 3 – Good Times. Back when we still had Bethenny and Sonja’s infinitely more likeable identical cousin…

  11. I think they need to revamp the whole franchise (NYC and beyond). They are all too corrupted by their perceived fame. Beverly Hills is the last man standing. They have so much REAL money and existing degress of minor fame (Club MTV, Witch Mountain) that can take the spotlight. They are also not trying to launch singles and shapewear.

    I said this before…Bravo needs to create at Real Housewives/MTV style Real Word/ Road type Challenge. I would love see NeNe pummel The Countess in the face with a foam jousting stick.

    Or pull from different casts and make them share a house on the Jersey Shore. Imagine Vanderpump and Sheree fist pumping at Karma?

  12. If this is a representation of the way “real” grown-up women communicate with each other, I am ashamed to be a woman. Extreme narcissism exhibited by all, with Alex
    being the least despicable. I think Alex still has a heart, the others have turned to
    stone.

  13. While I’m not a fan of Alex, I do believe the brunettes bullied her horribly during both parts of the reunion.
    I love the LuAnn “just joking” photocaps. Perfect.
    Cindy is useless. She added nothing to the entire season.
    Add my name to the petition to have the entire group recast.

  14. HILARIOUS recap! Thank you so much. After I watched the “Reunion” I felt like I needed a shower. They are ALL repugnant but the blondes at least have some likeable qualites and personality. Kelly is just a mean girl squared with absolutely NOTHING likeable (but she does have great shoes!). Jill is a bitch. Plain and simple. Her and LoonMan’s constant use of key words to try to start a trend (mean tweet, etc.) were SO transparent. It was also apparent very early in the season that the brunette’s planned to point out Ramona’s drinking every chance they could so as to try to impugn Ramona’s wine sales. Simon is creepy but he did have a friendship with Jill first so maybe Jill should pick her friends more carefully and not blame it on Alex. Cindy is just irrelevant. I did have to laugh when she tried to say she spent lots of time taking care of her kids. The look of exasperation on her face after 10 minutes in the restaurant with ONE baby showed she does very little on her own.

    I do like how in love LoonMan seems. Too bad being in love makes her mean. I still love Sonja. . . I guess. I hope she and her vajonia work out their financial issues. I can’t imagine her easy bake oven cookbook is going to be too successful.

    • Not only the exasperated look- she had to call an assistant( someone from her work is who she called- not 1 of her 2 nannies, yes2) to come and take he baby so she can eat food. She couldn’t put her baby in a high chair. She physically could not manage that. As her parents sat there in disbelief – careful not to say a word. Some princess they raised with a mouth from the sewer. Another brunette who skews truths

  15. I just can’t. Part II exhausted me. Electrocute them all save Alex, and start with a clean slate.

    I did love how the blondes coordinated their jewel tones.

  16. I want to know: When did rudeness and meaness become charming? Thank you Lord, I have no friends like this and I am so happy.

  17. I love how Jill said the martinis at the Anti Bullying party were just “for color” and that no one was drinking them….decorating with cocktails anyone?

  18. Alex – you are really really really REALLY better than the group. Please quit and resume your life without BRAVO !!! You don’t need to mix with the rest of these sad, jealous and pathetic middle-aged women.

  19. I’m going to agree with everyone here that said they need to recast this whole show. There’s absolutely no way they can try and portray these guys as friends. They’re not even frenemies . . . They’re all downright hostile to each other.

  20. These women have let their so called celebrity status get them waay off track. I agree with Neil Patrick Harris, they all need to go.Cindy has twins and doesn’t even know how to put them in a high chair! that’s beyond belief.Jill thinks she is a celebrity only she is just a woman who got on a reality show and has totally lost her way,she needs to watch the reunion show to see how low she has sunk. Kelly, she is so out of touch with reality ,who knows,I admit i have a soft spot for
    ramona she can be so mean spirited but then does try to repair what she has broke and Jill was so mean girl high-school bringing up what she heard in he (social circle) ugh about Mario,some friend! Luann thinks she is soo above everyone,what a crock,and Alex what has happened to her , she is angry all the time.Sonya was the only one who seemed like a woman you might want to sit down with. These woman have had their shot and make a real mess, get some new housewifes.

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