REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS PHOTOCAP: Spa Day Leads to Relaxation, Anxiety

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Game Night may be over on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but yesterday we were introduced to Spa Day, which had all the ladies gathering at Adrienne’s manse for an afternoon of pampering and indulgence. Oh, and some extraordinary tension. You see, this was the first time that Brandi and Kim would be seeing each other since the infamous Game Night, and as you can imagine, the drama wasn’t quite water under the bridge.

For the most part, Spa Day was just a tense, unpleasant experience, but there were no fights, screaming matches, or accusations of meth. Instead, it was just a lot of quiet murmurings behind people’s backs. Kim, Kyle, and Lisa gabbed about Brandi. Taylor, Brandi, and Adrienne talked about the Richards’ sisters. To be fair, Kim and Kyle were a bit more vicious in their gossiping, but what else is new? Ultimately, Adrienne urged Brandi and Kyle to clear at least some of the air, and to some effect they did. Neither woman backed down tremendously; although, credit Kyle for appearing surprisingly rational and eating humble pie when appropriate. Brandi was still a bit worked up about the situation, and once again, I found myself oddly feeling sympathy for her. And let’s not pretend like we didn’t all smirk when Brandi later refused to back off from the assertion that Kim might be on crystal meth.

Anyway, the episode was overall fun; although, not as terribly dramatic as the previews would suggest. I will say that I was mildly thrilled to see my friend Katie lingering in the background as one of the aestheticians in Adrienne’s home spa (an excessive indulgence that only a Maloof or perhaps that guy Mohammed could spring for). I’d also like to add that I enjoyed the large amount of Lisa Vanderpump “fancy” music on this episode as well as the several shots of Kim in her candy cane neck bow ensemble. You know what I’m talking about.

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Lisa: “Okay, first rule of roasting chicken: be sure to wear baggy sleeves that can accidentally get salmonella goo all over them.”

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Lisa: “Good God, why are you using soap on the chicken?”
Adrienne: “Because I have no basic instincts as a human being. Paul surgically removed them.”

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Lisa: “Goodness, you can’t clean a chicken with soap. Don’t you remember the episode of Amen when Thelma did that?”

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Kyle: “My stomach feels a little weird.”
Dana: “We’ll get through it. That’s what we do. Together until the end. Always will be. Always have been.”
“Huh?”
“Girls like us, we stick together. I got your back, you got mine. Until the end of time. That’s how it’s always been.”
“But we just met last week.”
“I know, isn’t it AWESOME?”

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“Isn’t it crazy how I can make my hands look like trees from a Tim Burton movie?”

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“Hey guys, just so you know, this machine is NOT for roasting chicken. Learned it the hard way.”

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“Does anyone get the feelings that we’re really just joining a cult right now?”

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Brandi: “You look like Eddie Cibrian.”
“Thank you.”
“I HATE Eddie Cibrian.”
“Oh…”
“I WILL KILL YOU.”

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“Kyle, I just want you to know that if something should go wrong, and I don’t wake up, I love you. With all my heart I love you.”
“You’re only getting a foot massage.”
“I… I get nervous.”

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“And Kyle?”
“Yes, Kim.”
“Tell Mauricio and the kids I love them too. You can have my share of the house. I don’t care. I love you.”
“Aw, Kim. You’re so sweet. And it’s ours already.”
“YOU’RE A GODDAMN BITCH!”

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Kyle: “Is Camille in there with Kelsey.”
“No. She’s alone.”
“Then why are we all staring? I mean, who would care about Camille without Kelsey? Amiright?”
“That was mean, Kyle.”
“What? I would NEVER say something like that….”

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“Hahahhahahaaha… the poors.”

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“Wow, Brandi. You are MUCH taller than me.”

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Kim: “I don’t care what Brandi has to say to me. It’s like feeding a… a… a PLANT!”
Kyle: “Or a piranha!”
“Yeah, it’s like feeding a piranha!”
Lisa: “Neither of your analogies really make sense, but okay.”

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“I mean, why should I care what she has to say? You know what it’s like? It’s like feeding a PIRANHA!”

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“Okay, Kim. We get it. You like the piranha thing.”

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“I… I’m sorry. There was no power, and I couldn’t do my hair, and I… I just LOVE the airplanes at that one airport. What’s it called? I… I get nervous.”

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“Kim, you’re not making any sense.”

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“Piranhas.”

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“Listen, Brandi, I need you to apologize to my sister because otherwise she’ll never stop saying that line about piranhas I gave her.”

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“Do NOT talk ABOUT piranhas! I WILL KILL YOU!!”

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“Brandi… do you know if it’s bad to cook chicken in a washing machine?”

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“Kim, Brandi wants to apologize to you.”
“With that sewer mouth of hers? I won’t hear any sewer mouth apologies from no GODDAMN SLUT PIG. It’ll be like feeding a piran–“
“Okay, you really need to stop.”

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“Wait a second. That frozen yogurt I just ate had CALORIES?”

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Adrienne: “Well now you’ve ruined EVERYTHING.”

What did you think about this episode?

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21 thoughts on “REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS PHOTOCAP: Spa Day Leads to Relaxation, Anxiety

  1. I refuse to believe those Richards sisters are so innocent that they don’t know what crystal meth is. That act is wearing thin with me, but I will give Kyle credit for actually listening to Brandi. Kyle isn’t the “traitor” that Kim thinks she is, Kyle was at least trying to be a bit more adult.

  2. Bernie skulking in the hallway making sour puss faces while Lisa tries to teach Adrienne how to roast a chicken. He is such an arsehole.
    Adrienne doesn’t even know where to find salt & pepper. Really??

    Mohammed’s girlfriend is tall but shallow. I wonder if he leaves her bread crumbs so she can find her way around 60,000 square feet.

    Klye probably thinks her sister is on Crystal Light.
    Kim was late to the spa day because someone gave her the wrong time. Last time it was because she didn’t have any kids coming with her and the time before that it was because her power went out. This bitch has more excuses than the defendants in Judge Judy’s courtroom.

    hb

    • Typical addict behavior. She was either doing or looking for her drugs.
      She also has that addict craggy skin…one day she will do something so outrageous that even Kyle will have to admit what she already knows.

      That’s not “doing things my own way”….she hates Brandi because she knows Brandi sees thru her shit.

      • I think kyle knows kim’s on drugs. why do you think she chases after her like a puppydog? She’s trying to cover for her. and I absolutely agree, they both hate brandi because not only does she see through their shit, she ain’t keeping quiet about it either.

    • Oops. Intended this reply to go here:

      Seriously. But it’s okay for Lisa to scream, “Bend over!” to Camille while the poor woman is minding her own business.

    • Seriously. But it’s okay for Lisa to scream, “Bend over!” to Camille while the poor woman is minding her own business.

      • Good point. They are prudish when it is convenient. Kim spelling out b-i-t-c-h was ridiculous.

  3. The bubbles fame out of the turkey when George Jefferson cut it, omgosh, I forgot how funny that was

    Brandi was treated like crap, never expected Lisa Vanderpump to be so catty she seems elegant and respectful not all trailer park, Kim & Kyle how freaking rude are those two, and why is Kyle such a bitch? Last season her bitching at Camille, this season her and Brandi is that her “character”? and what is Kyle hiding about Kim there is something there w/Kim and her craziness, or is that Kim’s “character” too?

    Adrienne’s spa are you kidding me to think that someone, anyone has something like that in their house it makes me giddy, she is a lucky girl and to think that catty Lisa Vanderpump didn’t even know that it was there and they are neighbors that makes me smile a bit

    • It’s like when Kelly(NY), AFTER posing for Playboy, suddenly became a prude with regards to nudity and/or sex talk of any kind.

  4. I have to say last night was really boring and petty. And I don’t understand why Brandi is on the show, even thought the Richards sisters are acting like jerks, I just don’t really feel sorry for her. What is she bringing to the show?

  5. The Dana stuff is PRICELESS!!
    “We’ll get through it. That’s what we do. Together until the end. Always will be. Always have been.”
    LMAO!! I noticed that at the Game night party too. What is this chick smoking? She must’ve snuck into the bathroom with Kim…

  6. Kim is a burn out, or a dry drunk, maybe she is menapausal cuz the lack of hormones can really screw with your memory.

    I think that if you are young woman joining a group of older women you have to show a certain amount of respect for your elders. Brandi isn’t going to do that so she is going to have a hard time of it and will never be accepted.

    • They are totally jealous of her youth so I think no matter what she did they would give her a hard time. Remember that first night when all she did was walk in the room and they were instantly around Kyle whispering about her husband cheating on her.

  7. The only thing that makes sense to me is that there is a history between Kyle and Brandi. One is friends with the other’s “enemy, ” or some such thing. Either that, or Mauricio has the hots for Brandi.

  8. Did I see in the coming attractions Taylor screaming at Kyle? Or was it just edited like that?
    Seeing Russel was really creepy.

    • I got the same creepy feeling when I saw him. Just waiting for someone to make the “I see dead people” comment.
      Oh – I just did.

      hb

  9. best contradiction is kyle telling brandi, “nobody can talk about my sister” and “how dare you accuse her of using drugs”. ummmmmm, that is EXACTLY what kyle did in the limo last year.

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