An Amahzing Story

Happy Endings is the funniest sitcom on TV at the moment, and one of its most endearing characters is that of Penny Hartz, played by SNL alum Casey Wilson. Chief among Penny’s quirks is her penchant for saying “amalzing” instead of “amazing,” a nifty bit of slang that is routinely rejected by the other characters on the show. Of course, I am an impressionable youth, and as such, I realized that I’ve started to incorporate “amalzing” into my everyday speech — first as a tribute to Penny but now because I can’t help myself.

That’s why yesterday afternoon, when I had twenty minutes to kill before meeting someone (appropriately enough at a bar called The Happy Ending), I decided that I would Like “amalzing” on Facebook. You can only imagine my surprise to learn that there was no Facebook page dedicated to “amalzing.” There was, however, a page dedicated to “amahzing,” which is apparently the more accepted spelling of the word. The “Amahzing” page, however, is dedicated to some product or line of something-or-another, and it most certainly is not affiliated with Happy Endings. Therefore, I took it upon myself to make a page for “Amalzing” for the sole purpose of being able to have “Ben likes Amalzing” on my Timeline.

Fun times. Fun, silly times.

But what a strange turn this simple story would take…

Well, after I finished making this silly page for “Amalzing,” I then trotted off to The Happy Ending bar where I met my friend to watch some football. The night was toodling along as usual when all of a sudden in walked Damon Wayans Jr., a.k.a. Brad from HAPPY ENDINGS. I use caps lock, you see, because a) Damon Wayans Jr. is my favorite cast member on the show, and b) it was a Happy Endings star at The Happy Ending, and c) I’M TOTALLY OBSESSED AND THIS WAS AWESOME.

I tried and failed to contain my giddiness, but luckily, while my composure was all but lost, my sense of dignity was barely intact, and thus I did manage to stay firmly planted in my booth instead of strutting across the room and accosting Mr. Wayans (Jr.).

Nevertheless, I tried not to ignore my friend too severely, but when I saw a bevy of flashes coming from the area that Damon Wayans Jr. was seated in, my curiosity overtook me. I took a well-timed trip to the men’s room, and of course on my return route, I circuitously ventured into Damon Wayans Jr.’s section of the bar and discovered that there seemed to actually be a photoshoot going on with him. Ah — it all made sense. Happy Endings at The Happy Ending. Not so coincidental after all. There was a part of me that was slightly saddened — I suppose I was holding out hope that I might be drunk, and he might be drunk, and I could go over to him, and we could be chummy, and we could maybe — I don’t know — be best friends? But clearly he was here on business; so I returned to my table and continued on with my friend.

But then mere minutes later in walked Zachary Knighton, the guy who plays Dave on the show. WhaaaaAAAAA? Two cast members from Happy Endings?? This was too good to be true. Maybe this was to be a group photo shoot! Maybe the whole GANG would show up!

Well, sadly, I saw none of the other cast members appear…

But then about an hour or so later, I saw Eliza Coupe (JANE!) walking out of the bar. Wait a second… had other cast members snuck in? Sure enough, I turned to my left, and one by one, a different cast member walked by and out of the bar. First, I saw Zachary Knighton again. Then Damon Wayans Jr. too. And then Elisha Cuthbert. They were all there! And all walking by! But unfortunately, while they were close, they were just a shade too far for me to say (in my coolest, most mature voice) “I really enjoy your show.” And of course we all know that would have come out as “I AM OBSESSED WITH YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU DO.”

Only one cast member happened to walk directly by my table, and who should it be? None other than Casey Wilson. She was within stalking proximity; so I quickly reached out my hand and said, “Excuse me.” She stopped and smiled as I rose from my booth and proceeded to tell her how much I enjoyed her and the show. I then name-dropped (I used to intern for the show’s executive producer), and once I felt like our rapport was on solid ground (side note: she was GREAT), I humbly told Casey that a mere three hours prior I had made a Facebook page for “Amazling.” Casey flipped out. She absolutely loved it and insisted that I message her on FB. “I feel like this is fate!” she said. The feeling was mutual (especially since the decision to go to Happy Ending was a last minute one by me). With any luck, she said she’d get ABC to link to the page. We then gabbed (or more like I gushed) for a few more minutes, and then we parted ways (I foolishly forgot to nab a photo for the page). I haven’t heard back from Casey, but I’m hoping that at the very least she’ll like the page.

In the meantime, given the sheer amount of kismet involved, I think it’s only appropriate that you and anyone you know who’s a fan of Happy Endings “Like” Amalzing on Facebook.

Amalzing.

Update: I’ve changed the FB page to “Amahzing” because after further consultation with Casey, the head writer, and the Internets at large, it appears as though that is the accepted spelling. Huzzah!

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