After two weeks off, The Real Housewives of Atlanta returned on Sunday, and maybe it was just me, but this episode was about as boring as it gets. Almost nothing interesting happened, save for Kandi’s songwriting session with JoDee Messina, which proved fascinating in the way that all of Kandi’s professional scenes have proven to be fascinating. I almost feel like she deserves a spin-off where we watch her working with artists because it’s a hell of a lot more compelling than most of the other stuff we were stuck with. Phaedra continued to investigate a second career as a funeral home owner; Kim continued to pack up for her move (when WILL that happen already?); Nene played dress-up and pretended to be a high class lady; Sherayay did yoga; and Cynthia and Peter fought again over nothing particularly noteworthy. The big takeaway on that front was that Peter doesn’t like being called a dinosaur and will only compliment Cynthia when forced to by a pastor. Great.
“Cynthia, there’s something you should know about me. I am a HUGE asshole.”
“That’s okay. I’m the most boring woman in the world.”
“What was that? I instantly fell asleep.”
“Brielle, are you seriously not going to get me any Chick Fil-A? BRIELLE, GET MOMMA HER CHICK FIL-A!!!”
“No, Kandi, you’re not allowed to use my Grammy as a vibrator.”
“Hey Marlo, let’s talk about this Charles Grant issues a little more since NOBODY CARES ABOUT IT.”
“I’m wearing a doily.”
Hugs By Hugreé.
Yoga by Yogareeé.
Juicing By Juicingreé.
“EW. What’s that?”
“Ginger? Is that some sort of strange, new-age plants? I never seen no ginger at KFC.”
“This is what I want to do with my ex’s penis.”
“Wow. I can’t even taste the Chardonnay.”
“There is no Chardonnay.”
“Jesus, no wonder why it’s so bad. Brielle! BRIELLE!!! GET MOMMA HER CHARDONNAY!!!”
Nene: “When should I mention that I’m very rich from Celebrity Apprentice? I really want to impress these high society women with it.”
Pastor: “Now why are y’all here today?”
Peter: “Because I’m an asshole.”
Cynthia: “And I’m boring.”
Pastor: “I’m sorry. I just instantly fell asleep. What did you say?”
Cynthia: “I’m boring.”
Pastor: “Yup. Happened again.”
“See, she has a very sharp tongue. You see the way she call me a dinosaur? She think I’m a dinosaur, and that’s supposed to be a little dig, right? Well, the joke’s on her because I don’t even know what a dinosaur IS.”
“Peter, I just want to get back to the way we were: smiling, laughing, digging ourselves into enormous debt…”
“Hey, let’s throw another party without air conditioning.”
What did you think about the episode?