REAL HOUSEWIVES OF OC PHOTOCAP: Costa Rica Suave

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I suppose the Real Housewives of Orange County will be wrapping up in the next few weeks because we’re already at the group trip that almost always signals the home stretch of every season. This year, the ladies headed down to Costa Rica for a five-day excursion — or rather, a two day jaunt in Alexis’s case. The poor girl probably thought Costa Rica was a spa in Laguna Hills, which perhaps explains why she volunteered to travel down there for a scant two days. Of course, there’s also the distinct possibility she merely confused Costa Rica with Costa Mesa (also in Orange County), but at the end of the day, one truth remains: she still thinks she’s in Mexico.

This first Costa Rican episode was noteworthy because pretty much all the girls ganged up on Alexis, who spent what appeared to be three hours crying before her first zipline experience. I should note that after all the hoopla about whether or not she’d take the plunge, I couldn’t help but notice she was about eight feet above a river. Grand heights these were not (at least on that first section).

But the fact that Alexis is an idiot is nothing new. Tamra and Heather happily took Alexis to town for being materialistic, citing her penchant for name-dropping every brand of vehicle, handbag, and vaginal cream she seems to acquire. In the end, Alexis was left tearing up, questioning why Tamra couldn’t be a nicer person. She did have a point: Tamra is a huge bitch, even to her friend Vicki who she called a hypocrite. I would have used the word “annoying” instead. I could get into the squabble (it involved an inane alphabet game and bawdy language), but is it really worth it? I think not.

Also, there were monkeys.

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“You told Alexis that we think she’s phony? And she knew that wasn’t a reference to telephones? Wow.”

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“I’m incredibly excited for Costa Rica. I really think my ’80s hair will play well there.”

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“I’m pretending like I’m already down in Costa Rica, soaking up all that Mexican sun!”

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“So, while I’m gone, are you going to look for a job?”

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“I like to think being a deadbeat dad already IS a full-time job.”

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Alexis: “Oh my gosh. I am so ready for Costa Rica. Panama, here we come!”

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Vicki: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T HAVE INSURANCE???”

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Alexis: “Cheers to this delicious Costa Rican meal. Who would have thought there’d be such wonderful food in the middle of Brazil?”

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Vicki: “Excuse me while I pull a policy off this Insurance Tree!”

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Alexis: “So many animals and sights! Who knew that Germany had jungles?”

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Vicki: “Aw! You bought renters insurance, didn’t you?”
“¡Si!”

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Vicki: “I canNOT believe no one wants to play the alphabet game!”
Tamra: “Fine. I’ll play it. My name is Tamra, and I’m bringing an anus to the picnic.”
Vicki: “Great! And I’m bringing BROOKS.”
“ugh.”

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Gretchen: “I have to admit that I’m a little nervous.”
Alexis: “Don’t be. And even if you get hurt, the Costa Rican hospitals are great. They know what they’re doing here in Africa.”

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“Wait, I don’t want to do this anymore. What if my nose comes off? They had to surgically remove it. I’m not sure if the stitches are healed. Wait!!!!”

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“I know such great sadness.”

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“I think my love tank sprung a leak.”

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“I’m gonna DO someone on a zipline.”

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“Cheers to Alexis being a total idiot.”

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“Really, Tamra? You’re going to insult me while we’re on this lovely trip to the country of Alaska?”

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“WE’RE IN COSTA RICA.”

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“Yes, I know. In the state of India. Blah blah blah.”

What did you think about this episode?

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11 thoughts on “REAL HOUSEWIVES OF OC PHOTOCAP: Costa Rica Suave

  1. Alexis she can show no emotion on her face cuz its full of filler, her lips are the only thing that moves Vicky is out of control, Brooks gives me the hebejebe’s.
    I love Heather, when Alexis said, that she can only stay 2 days because she doesn’t have any nannies for her 3 kids, and Heather days neither do and Terry is taking care of all 4 of them, perfectly put! But Jim is working on his trampoline park? and how would a trampoline park work anyways?

  2. The irony of the other women telling Alexis that SHE is materialistic . . . hmmmm. I wonder if they really know what that means, seeing as that they ALL apply. What a joke. Vicki’s face looks awful. So bumpy. What is that? Acne?

  3. Is this the year of the fedora? All the hats…guess they cover the roots.

    I thought Tamra was over the top mean to Alexis…there is telling someone you think they are kind of full of themselves but to gang up on this poor dumb woman and rip her to shreds just seemed mean to me and I’m from Jersey!

    Vicki’s skin is horrid….I don’t even know if a peel or anything would help that…it looks like old old scars from her teenage years. But it doesn’t matter because Brooks loves her….until her assets are gone.

  4. As someone who flies frequently, often taking early morning flights out of LAX…I cannot imagine the UNGODLY hour at which Alexis roused herself to get from OC to LAX at 4:15am looking that done up! I mean, hair, makeup, mr. potato head lips, the commute…that had to have 2 hours at least. Heather, by comparison, looked refined and casual…as well-heeled women are wont to do at 4 in the GD morning. Alexis had to have gone out of her way to look that cheesy that early.

  5. Alexis is probably my least favorite housewife but I really felt for her during the horrible dinner. These women are all AWFUL for ganging up on her about being too materialistic… puh-leaze! They are all the most materialistic bunch around and a bunch of mean girls. Tamra is a bully and terrible person and Gretchen is the worst friend on the planet. Instead of being upset that her friend was hurting she was pissed that Alexis wouldn’t let her comfort her after joining in on the name calling with the other nine year olds at the table. Alexis should ditch all these broads…. horrible, horrible women… all of them.

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