Well, the time has nearly come to say goodbye to our first houseguest of the season on Big Brother. Technically, we already said goodbye to Jodi, but she barely counts as her only contributions to the show thus far have been smiling awkwardly and falling over. Actually, that’s kind of awesome. Coming into Wednesday’s show, Frank (big hair) and Kara (big boobs) had been put on the block. Would either one be able to save themselves? Or were HairyBoobs destined to square off on the live show? Answers after the jump…
Well, I’ll just get to it: Shane won the Veto and left the nominations intact. It was sort of a bummer because a) I like Frank and think he’ll be voted out, and b) we then had to sit through a lot of filler leading up to Shane’s inevitable inaction. That being said, I still thoroughly enjoyed the episode, thanks to this nifty coaching twist that has these great vets scheming like hell. Watching Janelle smile to Boogie’s face and then confess to us that “I hate Boogie,” was a pure delight. Janelle may never have won the game, but she is still the very best player in my book.
The coach situation has certainly led to an interesting dynamic. They all seem to be “gaming” hard, but their players are just sitting around mostly, waiting for orders. Normally, that would drive me mad (viz. last season), but in this case, it actually works. The coaches are running the game, and they’re supposed to. What will be real interesting, however, is the first insurrection, which apparently is happening tonight, according to the promos. We’ll see how that goes.
In other news, Ian can kick himself in the head, Joe is still annoying, and Kara is quickly becoming the most boring Playmate of all time. Seriously, this girl has no personality, and if I may be catty, she hardly looks like she even belongs in Playboy. Total Kara FAIL. Meanwhile, Danielle seems like a waste of space too, and her inane comments are already starting to annoy me. I like Dan, but his team is the worst.
“‘Allo guv’nah! Penny for shoe shine?”
“I’m starting to realize that I am very, very boring.”
“Gosh, I would love a Kit Kat right now.”
“Okay, Willie, I’ll be straight up with you: I don’t need this money. I earn millions farming my hair out for pillow stuffing.”
“Boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs, right?”
“Seriously, Janelle. How do those things not drag you down to the floor?”
Riverdance just got REAL.
“I don’t have deep thoughts.”
“Is it me, or do I sort of look like a mom already?”
“Hmmm… this potato chip tastes funny. Oh wait, it’s a condom.”
“Yo, if you wanna make out, I would be totally down for it.”
“Hey, y’all want to play Farmer’s Market? I’ll stand here by the produce.”
“Omg, I’m glad you said that. I HATE koala bears TOO!”
“Sometimes I get confused and think tin foil is actually from outer space.”
“You know, Janelle, I think we will make a great alliance.”
“Hey, y’all. What’s a thermostat?”
“There ain’t nobody to do sex with in here.”
“Seriously, I am SO boring.”
“There were so many bubbles in the veto competition. I was like wow, I never seen so many bubbles! I felt like I was in a bubble bath! It was the most exciting day of my life. More exciting than that time I decided to wear a tenth layer of makeup on my face!”
Joe: “YEEEEHAWWWWW!!! THIS IS SOME DOGGUN CHALLENGE!!! DAGNABBIT YEEEHAW SOULPATCH!!!!”
“Is it me, or am I getting hotter?”
“I would like to talk about health insurance.”
“Y’all seriously want to get rid of this hair? You have no APREESH.”
“Aw, Frank! You are TOTES cute!”
What did you think about the episode?