It occurred to me this morning that it’s been ages since I’d written up a photocap for The Real Housewives of New York City. Maybe that’s because the new cast has yet to really gel (or at least spark). The revamped RHONYC has been something of a mild failure. The show is still entertaining to watch, and our old guard of LuAnn, Sonja, and Ramona certainly keep things interesting, but truth be told, the new girls are just too normal. Well, not normal, per se. Aviva’s boatload of phobia’s and insecurities are far from the norm. However, the new ladies are almost too polite and self-aware. We need brash, ridiculous behavior from these women, otherwise we’re stuck with just another Bravo show about affluent but boring city-dwellers.
On the plus side, Carole Radziwell has been consistently amusing with her little barbs and comments, but she’s a far cry from the manic and catty observations of Bethenny Frankel in her heyday. Aviva stirs the pot, but she’s got nothing on queen yenta Jill Zarin. And Heather is fake and real at the same time, but lacks the goofy appeal of, say, Alex or Kelly. I fear that Bravo may have thrown the baby out with the bathwater with this cast revamp.
That being said, we do have some real gems. The fact that Sonja is still peddling this triple-decker toaster oven while simultaneously waltzing about Manhattan in couture gowns is a juxtaposition for the ages. This is a woman who should be spending her days nibbling on tea biscuits and raisin scones, not yammering about heating coils and crumb trays. I mean, who tries to launch a party planning business AND a toaster oven line at the same time? UNDER THE SAME BRAND UMBRELLA? Amazing.
Anyway, here’s the photocap:
“Tell me about London. Was LuAnn awful? How was she awful? What did she do? Did she walk into the room first? Did she sleep with another man? Did you record it? Did you blackmail her? What did you do???”
“I would like to clarify that the only reason why I fell over at my party is merely because I have a deep fear of remaining in a stable, upright position.”
“Okay, this woman Sonja is a disaster, but do me a favor and humor her. I mean, she’s a socialite with a toaster oven. ‘Nuff said.”
Sonja: “I don’t like this. It’s not classy. What about my suggestion of using Comic Sans with an emoticon at the end?”
“Perfect. This poison in this wine is odorless. GIVE IT TO RAMONA.”
LuAnn: “Look at stupid Ramona and her stupid wine. Hahahhaa. It’s so good to talk like this.”
“This smells like the Berkshires, which is really a MUCH better place than ANY place any of YOU people EVER go to.”
“And that’s how I got kicked out of a taping for Wheel of Fortune.”
Reid: “Look, there’s Cuba.”
Aviva: “Reid, you know I have a deep-seated fear of island nations.”
Aviva: “Dad, you’re killing me. You know I have a chronic fear of having my children being held in pink lighting.”
“Dad, you are a strange man. Now excuse me while I enjoy some wine from my sippy cup.”
“Hello, 911? I’d like to report one of my oversized family portraits to be missing. Please come by quickly. I have a deep-seated fear of art thieves!”
Aviva: “I’m so glad you’re here. Please don’t let go of me though. I find your husband’s sport coat to be TERRIFYING.”
LuAnn: “RAMONA, what a bitch? Amiright?”
Heather: “Actually, I asked you your thoughts on global warming.”
“So seriously… what’s the deal with Sonja and her toaster oven. Are we not laughing about that yet?”
“I don’t know what Heather’s talking about: this waxing is painful. Almost as painful as RAMONA’S COMPANY, AMIRIGHT?? AMIRIGHT???”
Ramona: “I would like my cherry tomatoes sliced in half. Not quarters. Not thirds. Half. Sorry, any other fraction is rude. No, you know what it is? It’s déclassé. I’m SORRY! It’s déclassé.”
Aviva: “I wonder if I should tell Reid that I have a great fear of endive in martini glasses. I can’t even look at it…”
What did yout think about this episode?