BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Double The Eviction, Double The Fun!

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I’m back! For the moment. Sorry everyone, I’ve been working on some non-blog stuff that has totally monopolized my time. Despite that, I knew I just had to write something about this week’s double eviction episode of Big Brother, which was AH-MAH-ZING. I tend to love these “Big Brother Fast Forward” shows. They’re awkward, oddly-paced, and totally low-rent, but there’s a rustic charm that always prevails — like watching some hog tackling competition at a country fair (full disclosure: I’ve never been to a country fair or seen hog tackling).

Anyway, as herky-jerky as these episodes are, the fact that it all unfurls live leads to some pretty spectacular fireworks, and this year’s “Fast Forward” was no different. In fact, this may have been my favorite of all time. From the eviction videos to the HoH results to the Veto competition — it was all high drama and comedy. The only letdown was the second ouster, which sort of ended the great hour on a sad, deflated note — like a balloon slowly weezing out air. Minor quibbles though. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. An excellent capper to a stellar week of strategy and drama. It’s so nice to have an interesting season again…


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“Good evening. I’m Julie Chen, and I just walked into a bedskirt.”

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“I really think this corner of the house could use more colors and patterns.”

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“This wire is not to be trusted.”

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“Mike Boogie thinks I’m giving him the silent treatment by reading the Bible, but the joke’s on him because I don’t even KNOW how to read!”

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“Yo, Jenn City is fired up! I’m so mad that I might do something crazy… like talking about doing something crazy!!!!!!!!”

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“I am such a friggin’ wildcard. You never know what I’ll do. Maybe I’ll sit quietly. Or maybe I’ll sit silently! WHAT WILL I DO???”

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“I am fired up. If Shane thought he could nominate Jenn City and get away with it, he has another thing coming. I am going to march up to his room and sit there VERY quietly!”

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“WHOOOWEEE!! MAH SOULPATCH IS STARTING TO LOOK LIKE A LITTLE STORK WADING IN A POND! YEEEHAW!!!”

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“Hey everyone, it’s been a wild ride. As you can see, I’m all fired up. I know you’re probably thinking ‘We should get rid of Jenn because she’s such a friggin’ wildcard.’ I get it. I’m a huge threat in this game, but yo, that’s just how I roll: loud, crazy, and wildcardy!”

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“Ashley, I need a vote.”
“Oh, sorry Julie. I was just pretending I was in a daisy field with a sparkling pony.”

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Ian: “You’re going to hear some things you won’t like.”
Boogie: “Never mind that. You have the most supple rib cage I have ever felt!”

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“You guys, how hilarious is it that I’m doing something that was cool nine months ago??”

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Britney: “Brrrrring! Brrrrring! Hello? Oh hi, Janelle. No, Mike’s not here. What’s that? I’m sorry, I’m not getting reception. Literally, I CANNOT HEAR YOU. Oh my God. If fake AT&T does not fix their fake coverage, I’m going to literally climb up a fake cell tower and throw myself to my death. I can’t.”

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Ian: “I masterminded your demise. Also, I may have masturbated in your shampoo.”

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Danielle: “THERE’S A NEW JUG OF FOUNDATION FOR ME IN THE HOUSE. RUN!!!!!”

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“YEEEHAW!!! WHERE’S MAH CLOVER?? DAGNABBIT SOULPATCH WHOOOWEEE!!!”

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“DAGNABBIT!!! THIS RAINBOW HAS ME FEELING MORE TIRED THAN MAH ROCK’N ROLL BUFFALO SALMON MEATLOAF!!!”

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Chef Joe is brought to his knees as he suddenly realizes that a rainbow is like six multi-colored soul patches all existing as one.

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“So… I’m not the most articulate girl… but… I just… I thought… I mean… it’s just… we all… turtles are… how does… because… tin foil… pistachios… bumper cars.”

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“I don’t really understand what’s going on because I posted on my dream board today that I specifically did NOT want to be evicted.”

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“Wow, I am fired up. I am such a friggin’ wildcard. Everyone should be real scared right now that I might just stand up and do something very quietly.”

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“You guys, I’m just going to take a standing nap, okay? Let me know who wins the game.”

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Deaf people: “Why is he yelling his sign language?”

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“Ugh! YOU GUYS. I left my ID back there.”

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“I love your side pony, Julie. My ideal man would have a side pony too. And arms. And a cane. And a mouth. And a neck. And a torso. That’s so sexy.”

What did you think about the double eviction?

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11 thoughts on “BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Double The Eviction, Double The Fun!

  1. I’ve missed a few shows and I had NO IDEA that Jenn was still on the show. Whenever I watch, she’s never on camera. I saw her for the first time in a while on the Double Eviction show.

    You may also want to tell Boogie that George Costanza’s dad wants his leisurewear back. Why is he wearing glasses/clothes/hats for a 60 year old anyway?

  2. I LOVE THIS!!!! Everything was hilarious as usual. Although now I’m going to miss all the comments about Ashley.

    But this was by far the best line, I could not stop laughing:
    Deaf people: “Why is he yelling his sign language?”

  3. Ian pacing back and forth in front of the camera while Julie was talking – priceless.

    hb

  4. This season of Big Brother has been petty at times but also really funny. It’s nice to see that the people on the show aren’t afraid to actually get in there and get mean. They are competing for a pretty big cash prize after all. The PrimeTime Anytime feature on my Hopper makes sure that I don’t miss anything on CBS, especially Big Brother, seven days a week. It’s pretty cool and thanks to a Dish co-worker I signed up for it before the fall TV show starts. This show is made fantastic by the feeds and this year they have been drama filled to the max and I am just so addicted!

  5. These are always entertaining to me. That shampoo line was hilarious and the Joe yelling and speaking gibberish was great as always.

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