BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade! (Or Dry Hump)

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So much has happened since my last photocap of Big Brother 14. I took two episodes off, and I’d like to say it was to protest the ouster of Janelle, but honestly, I was just being lazy. I was, however, quite QUITE mad about Janelle’s eviction, but at the very least it came as a result of some massively compelling strategy; so I can’t complain too much. Last Tuesday’s episode was probably the best of the season, even if it did imperil my precious Janey.

The real surprise has been the emergence of Danielle as a power player. Dan was right: she has graduated from his school of Big Brother, and now she is no longer some forgettable wallflower with spackled on makeup. No, Danielle has become rather strategic. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Or, Lady Nicety (she IS a woman after all). That being said, I kind of hate Danielle because she did set up Janelle, and while I have to respect the move, there’s nothing about Big Brother that ever states we should have rational, non-contradictory opinions about anyone or anything in the game.

Actually, I hate Boogie more right now (which is odd because I have a friendly relationship with him outside of the house — I just compartmentalize the two and pretend one is Real Boogie and the other is BB Boogie, the latter of whom I really don’t like). Boogie has been gloating about Janelle’s ouster, which makes me want to strangle him through my TV, but at the same time, he does realize the importance of a villain, and he’s doing the best job out of anyone of assuming that role. So I guess I can’t hate THAT much. And yet, it’s my duty to hate the villain massively. So I DO hate that much. I’m not even sure what I’m writing anymore. Just words, people. Filler until the photocap.

Pictures after the jump…

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“Literally, if I shed another tear, I’m going to light every onion in this house on fire and then stab myself in the head.”

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“YEEEHAW!! I RECKON I CAN MAKE MAH MOHAWK AND MAH SOUL PATCH MEET!! WHOOWEEE VERTICAL AXIS OF HAIR!!!”

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“I gots to figure out mah next move. I know it’ll involve yellin’. But how much yellin’? Thank the Lord I have this fuzzy wishbone on mah chin to help me think.”

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“I hate this room. I hate it more than having to insert a catheter into an old man… which happens frequently in my job as a kindergarten teacher, WHICH I AM.”

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“Do you guys like how I sort of look like a kooky librarian lady?”

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“Sometimes I just sit out here and think about English muffins.”

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“Isn’t it amazing how accurately this mask depicts my eyes when I’m asleep?”

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“YEEEHAWWW I’M REENACTING TITANTIC! PAINT ME JACK!!!”

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“Shane, why won’t you make out with me? It’s not like I’m some massively successful nurse you have to be intimidated by. Yup, I’m just a humble school teacher with a blood pressure of 140 over 90, a resting heartbeat of 73 heartbeats per minute, and an average temperature of 98.2 degrees Fahrenheit.”

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“Oh my gosh. This orange pillow behind me is literally so uncomfortable that I’d rather throw it at those two tacky champagne flutes on the table and pour a vat of acid over my head than sit here any longer.”

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Ashley: “Guys, you have to get me to the bathroom. My dream board said I’d be peeing today, and now it’s about to happen!!”

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Ashley: “Hey guys? It’s too late. Just peed m’pants.”

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“I hope Frank doesn’t backstab me this week. Luckily, I know how to treat a stabbing wound, on account of me being a teacher, not a nurse, WHICH I’M NOT!”

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“Wow, I feel like I’m a lesbian, and I’m not just saying that because there’s a lesbian pounding me. Okay, maybe I am.”

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“YEEEHAW!!! THESE LEMONS REMIND ME OF MAH SIGNATURE DISH: CHEETOH-CRUSTED FISH STICKS WITH ROCKIN’ FRUIT LOOP LEMON SAUCE! DAGNABBIT SOUL PATCH!!!”

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“LORD WHAH HAVE YOU PUT ME IN THIS LEMON JUICE? IT FELT LIKE IT WEIGHED THREE TONS, AND THAT WAS ONLY WHAT MY SOUL PATCH ALONE HAD SOAKED UP.”

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“Oh my gosh. I am over this key. It’s ruining everything. Literally, I just want to throw it across the room and dive off a bridge.”

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“I would not *totally* rule out the idea of dating a Big Brother key.”

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“I really hope I’m not nominated. Oh wait, that will never happen because NO ONE KNOWS I EXIST.”

What did you think about this episode?

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6 thoughts on “BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade! (Or Dry Hump)

  1. “Danielle has become rather strategic..” – not really. Sure she wanted Janelle out because in Danielle’s delusional world Janelle did & said mean things to her. (never happened) Dan had already told Danielle that he didn’t think that was a good move. But the real strategic star of Janelle’s demise was Boogie.
    As for the merit of her “big move” – my crystal ball says everyone (except Froogie) will regret leaving the Frank & Boogie Bromance in the house.

    hb

  2. Totally agree honeybunny. Why Janelle was more threatening than Boogie and Frank who are diehard loyal to each other until the end is baffling. What’s even worse is that this move now has me hoping Boogie completely backstabs the new alliance ASAP and hoping for anything that benefits Boogie is physically painful.

    • Jenn’s big move was to make an alliance with Wil & Ashley. Jenn would have a better shot if she was in an alliance with the two chairs the nominees sit in.

      hb

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