Not much happened on the latest episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. We met Lydia’s kooky mom, who might actually be the first mother on these shows to be more age-appropriate as a cast-member than her actual daughter. A former hippie turned fairy dust enthusiast, Lydia’s mom was definitely something of a character, and interestingly enough, she actual shed some light on Lydia’s personality. It turns out this woman spent the majority of her life stoned, and because of that, Lydia sought structure in religion. Dare I say it was a nearly fascinating revelation? Maybe that’s going too far. Nevertheless, I find Lydia’s brand of devoutness to be far more informed than Alexis’s, which doesn’t seem to stem from curiosity but rather what Jim has ordered her to believe.
In other news, Heather continues to rebrand herself as the most humorless cast member on the show. After having landed a role on Hot in Cleveland, she went out to dinner with her fam and then proceeded to pick a fight with her husband, which she then promptly blamed on him. I’m not sure that Heather has as much of a stick up her ass as a giant, corinthian column from the Parthenon. She’s making me hate her, and I always liked her. Stop it! (Meanwhile, I’m loving Lydia).
On to the photocap!
Tamra: “This is one of Orange County’s classiest restaurants. Not only do they have a pan on the wall and a painting of horses, but they also serve a blooming onion that looks like a swan!”
Alexis: “I’m confused, Jim. Are we actually ON a trampoline right now?”
“I mean, how many cheeks is too many turns? And how many turns is too many cheeks? And what is a cheek anyway?”
“I sure hope you got baby seat insurance. Because I won’t be driving around an uninsured baby seat. Also, I’m looking like Carrie Fisher these days.”
“Oh just walking to things and such.”
“This here is fairy dust. Or as it’s known formally, COCAINE.”
“I love you, Slade. Almost as much as I love the ‘Caffé’ placard above my microwave and the rooster plate above my sink. And definitely more than the wrought iron bicycle wheel atop my china hutch.”
“I guess I’m just sad because TJ Maxx informed me that they are officially banning me from the rooster decor section. It’s not fair, Slade!”
“I’ve been offered a role on ‘Hot In Cleveland?’ Will there be onion rings involved?”
Vicki: “I’m being pulled in two directions: my daughter and the love of my life.”
Brooks: “Really? I’m the love of your life? That’s sweet.”
“What? No. I’m talking about INSURANCE.”
“Kids, this is supposed to be a joyous moment for me, and you’re ruining it by looking at the pumpkins.”
“Wait, should we be moving stuff into our Wines By Wives offices? I was thinking that we should have a dinner party there first, you know, as long as it’s empty and cold.”
Eddie: “So where are we going to put all the boxes?”
Tamra: “Of supplies or wine?”
“I cannot believe you would make an innocuous joke about letting the kids stay up late. That’s not funny. I am an occasional guest on TV Land sitcoms. I know what’s funny. And that was not funny.”
“You know what’s funny? Triangles. See? I just laughed. Why aren’t you laughing? You should laugh. The fact that you’re not laughing is very offensive.”
“Are you ordering onion rings now? That’s not funny. That is NOT funny.”
“Tonight was supposed to be about me, Terry. I don’t ask for a lot. Just some recognition once in a while… and for my cake bows to not be prematurely eaten… and that I have a mansion overlooking the sea… and that we have twelve bathrooms… and that my salmon be cooked for exactly 6.785 minutes…. that’s all!”
“Why is it that every time I’m humorless, you make jokes? Don’t you see? HUMORLESS PEOPLE HATE JOKES. IT’S LIKE POURING WATER ON A GREASE FIRE. A GREASE FIRE CAUSED BY ONION RINGS.”
What did you think about the episode?
I was surprised by my adoration of Lydia this week. She demonstrated a degree of insight that I would have never expected. Also, when she said to her mother that she loved her “no matter what” it was a display of unconditional love that was really charming. Viewer of this show rarely this kind of affection and it endeared Lydia to me.
I see a spinoff, “The Lydia & Judy Show.” Give me 21 minutes of them throwing fairy dust, Judy discussing her “smoking” habits, and Lydia gyrating wildly and I’m there in my He By Sheree finest!
I can’t believe noone said anyting about the “scrunchie” Alexis pulled out of the drawer and use on her hair!
I can’t believe that no-one else has noticed how much heather looks “coroline”…same looks, same personality underneath the clothes and tightly spread skin…
actually, i don’t know what happened to my full reply, but simply: heather looks and acts just like the ‘spider-woman’ in the movie “coroline”…both in appearance and personality…