BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Is Amanda The Stalin to Aaryn’s Hitler?

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Hey, remember those days on Big Brother when we hated Aaryn but liked Amanda, mainly because Amanda stepped up to Aaryn and called her out for being a racist? Seems like forever ago because nowadays, we’re hating Amanda just as much as Aaryn. It kind of got me thinking: is Amanda the Stalin to Aaryn’s Hitler? Think about it. Back in the thick of World War II, everyone hated Hitler (obvi) to the point where it made other assholes look like cool dudes. Stalin was our friend. But then as Hitler lost power, we came to realize that Stalin was an utter tyrant and killer and evil dude, and the only reason we liked him in the first place was because the enemy of our enemy is our friend. Well, I’m starting to think that Amanda may be following a rather Stalin-esque arc of public perception. All this time that we thought she was so funny and outspoken, but the truth is that she’s ready to send everyone to the Big Brother gulag. And if I were McCrae, I’d sleep with one eye open. We all remember what happened to Trotsky…

Anyway, with Howard out of the house, Amanda had to set her sights on a new enemy, and this time it was Jessie, who complained about being excluded from a backyard BBQ that Helen had won during the HOH competition. Granted, Jessie was whining like a spoiled brat, but I still found myself rooting for her when she eventually locked horns with Amanda, who had no tolerance for Jessie’s gripes. Ultimately I was pretty impressed with Jessie during the argument whereas Amanda’s growing cockiness and self-righteousness is continuing to grate me. I guess I have a thing for bullies who act like they’re the ones being bullied, and that’s pretty much what Amanda did. Not cool. Classic Stalin.

On to the photocap…

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“I don’t know how I’m supposed to do yoga on this log, but at least I’m not in a one-piece, no OFFFENSE THANNNNKS FOR ASKING.”

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Amanda: “Why do we have to walk on a log? I blame Howard. Let’s evict him.”
Candice: “You already did.”
“YOU DON’T TELL ME WHO I ALREADY EVICTED.”
“But it’s a fact. He’s no longer in this house.”
“Just keep running your mouth, Candice. You’re just digging a deeper hole for your boy Howard.”

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“I just won a BBQ. Can’t wait to throw some meats on the grill and HUG PEOPLE I HATE.”

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“If my hair looks extra shiny, it’s because I’ve been showering with this new product for ‘ethnic’ women, as they say. I actually really love it. Consider me a fan of ETHNIC CLEANSING!”

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“Like my blazer? I plan on wearing it to my next board meeting, which as we all know is when I sit in a room and talk to cutting boards.”

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Elissa: “Hey Amanda, I can’t believe you’re wearing a hoodie. I SAAADLY must inform you that it makes you look 400 lbs., no OFFFFENSE THAAANKKKS.”

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“I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed with no one else but me and the piece of foil Nick once pulled off a Hershey’s Kiss.”

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“You guys, Judd has been staring at the microwave for five minutes. I think he thinks it’s a porcupine.”

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“I hope GinaMarie doesn’t realize that I’ve just farted in her direction.”

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“Mmm. Smells good in here.”

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“Sorry, but this bed is for HOT GIRLS ONLY.”

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“MY XTINA CD!! I used to listen to this whenever Luca Tortelloni banged me in break room of Dress Barn.”

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“Hey America, could you make me MVP again? I’m obSESSEddddaaah. THANNNKS.”

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“This is, like, slutty and ugly. Are you sure it’s not for Amanda? No OFFENSSSSE THANNKS but NO THAAAANKKKS.”

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“You guys, it’s a pic of me and Nic. Look at his eyes, you can see… what’s the word?”
Aaryn: “Fear.”
Helen: “Revolt.”
Candice: “Disgust.”
Spencer: “Nausea.”
Judd: “Frogs.”
Elissa: “Terror, thannnks.”
Amanda: “Embarrassment.”
McCrae: “Embarrassment.”
Jessie: “What about what’s in my eyes?”
Andy: “Total, unabated repulsion.”
GinaMarie: “LOVE. That’s the word. His eyes are full of love.”

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GinaMarie: “And here are my parents, Dog The Bounty Hunter and Mrs. Dog. This was, of course, pre-mullet.”

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“Hey guys. Here comes my ass.”

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“Why am I the only one who dressed like a ’70s slasher film victim?”

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“Why can’t I go to a barbecue? Charcoals are hot, like me! It just makes sense!”

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“Jessie, you have no friends, you will never have friends, your personality is lame, and your parents probably regret having you.”

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“You’re such a bully.”

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“What? I am the farthest thing from a bully. Like, get over yourself.”

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You get over yourself!”

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“I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS BULLYING.”

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“You think that because you control the house that you can intimidate me?”

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“That is ridiculous. I don’t control anything in this house. Except McCrae. And everything in this house.”

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“Oh and by the way, Jessie, you’re going home this week, NOT THAT I CONTROL THE VOTES OR ANYTHING.”

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“How can you act like you don’t control the house and then simultaneously threaten to have me voted out?”

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“I don’t make threats. And if you say that again, I’m going to slit your throat.”

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“Damn, this is some bad garlic breath.”

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McCrae: “I think you need to calm down. You’re making the target on your ten times–“
Amanda: “YOU DON’T TALK UNTIL I TELL YOU TO.”
“Yes, ma’am.”

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“Hey McCrae, does my creepy tramp stamp turn you on?”
“A little bit.”
“I want you to lick it.”
“For real?”
“LICK IT!”

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“I’ve called this nominization meeting to discuss a style icon who happens to be a personal inspirization. I speak, of course, of Tara Reid.”

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“I may not be smart, but… that’s really all I had to say.”

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“Candice, I nominated you because, I don’t know, you’re a rat and a snitch, and I hate rats and snitches, but I do like sandwiches, which are different than rat snitches; so anyways, in conclusion irregardless of such and whatnot, rat potatoes salami Nick. Thank you.”

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“For my second nomineeing, I choose Jessie because I think you’re a… a…”
Aaryn: “Bitch.”
“Pitch. Yes, like in baseball. You’re a pitch, and you’re coming too fast. Three strikes and you’re… you’re…”
Aaryn: “Out.”
“Audi. Three strikes, and you’re Audi. Let me tell you something: I hate those fancy… fancy… uh…”
Aaryn: “Cars.”
“Carts. Fancy carts. I hate them. You know what I say? Bring a tote bag. Save the environment. Respect this… this…”
Aaryn: “Planet.”
“Janet. Respect Janet. And Chrissy. And Terri. And Mrs. Roper. In conclusion, come and knock on my door, we’ve been waiting for you, irregardless whatnot neverthemost nonetheleast Nick hair dye.”

What did you think about this episode? Did GinaMarie nominate the right people? Thoughts on Amanda?

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18 thoughts on “BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Is Amanda The Stalin to Aaryn’s Hitler?

  1. OMG. This has to be the best one yet.

    “Janet. Respect Janet. And Chrissy. And Terri. And Mrs. Roper. In conclusion, come and knock on my door, we’ve been waiting for you, irregardless whatnot neverthemost nonetheleast Nick hair dye.” – Best line of the article.

    On a serious note, your Hitler/Stalin scenario is right on. “everyone hated Hitler (obvi) to the point where it made other assholes look like cool dudes”. -LMAO so true.

  2. LOL!!! “Why am I the only one who dressed like a ’70s slasher film victim?” These were all so funny! Thanks for the morning laugh 🙂

  3. I love your photo caps…I look forward to them each week..I can just hear Elissa speaking in my ear when I read your caps for her. This weeks caps for GM in the nomination ceremony were classic. Keep up the good work. We all the a good laugh after suffering through these horrible people on the feeds.

  4. better them the bb show now this was funny!!!! and no gm did not pick the people that needs to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. “If my hair looks extra shiny, it’s because I’ve been showering with this new product for ‘ethnic’ women, as they say. I actually really love it. Consider me a fan of ETHNIC CLEANSING!”

    I know I’m going to hell for laughing at this one

  6. LMAO @ Aaryn and Amanda! First there was Aaryn’s “concentration camp” line about camps for people who need to learn how to concentrate and now this one about showering with ethnic shampoo and how great “ethnic cleansing” is! And Amanda’s threats to anyone who dares consider voting her out is so spot on!

  7. Another winner, Ben. But you missed a chance to remark about Aaryn’s mismatched eyebrows!

  8. Trotsky? Was he on Survivor?

    I love how GM started of her HOH week wearing her “nice” outfits, but by last night she was holding court wrapped in a towel.

  9. Are those 100% GMs ‘rents? Holy sh!tballs! I honestly thought that was a joke picture you put in of what she & Nick will look like in 30 years (with her ridin’ him hard & putting that poor, confused Gelding away wet…)

    That’s even funnier knowing it IS her parents. Her jokes just write themselves. If she wasn’t so awful with the racism & the ‘snake’ stuff, I’d *almost* feel bad about the illiteracy, the bulemia, the loss of a job & lack of any discernible qualifications to replace it with something outside the Adult Entertainment Industry, etc., etc. girl makes it hard to feel sorry for her…

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