BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Tongue Tied

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Few things have been as bizarre as Jocasta’s speaking in tongues on Sunday’s Big Brother. However, in an episode short on drama, we certainly had many record-scratching moments. There was Jocasta, of course, who has emerged as a slightly deranged woman of God. When not busting out a funky “d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dd” rapture, she’s lately been prone to over dramatic wails of joy that seem more akin to surviving a bomb blast than a veto ceremony.

Also in the head-scratching department was Zach opening up a dialogue with Frankie by stating that yes, he will bang him. I’ll just assume that was an inside joke between the two pseudo lovebirds (a showmance I wholeheartedly endorse). And then there was Cody, whose infatuation with Zac Efron makes Caleb’s obsession with Amber look quaint at best. Yes, this is a kooky cast, and I like them so much that I didn’t even mind that the only dust up of the episode was some kerfuffle about beds. I couldn’t even really follow what was going on — basically, no one wanted to sleep with Victoria because she’s annoying (allegedly, she claimed on the feeds that she was once abducted by a crow) — and one thing led to another and suddenly Brittany was in total bitch mode and blah blah blah. Who cares. The whole thing landed her on the block with Victoria, and now they face an uncertain fate.

But for now, here’s the photocap:

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Frankie: “You know who’s really good at this stuff? My sister. Her name is Shmariana Shmande. And she’s NOT a pop star at all.”

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Jocasta: “Hey, Britt. I have an egg ready for you. I said I have an egg. I said D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D DDDDDAHAHDD-D-D-D-D-D-DDDD-D-DDD EGG.”

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“This egg reminds me of this one time when a crow picked me up as a toddler and flew off with me. I guess crows like HOT baby girls!”

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Britt: “Slow and steady, honey.”
Jocasta: “I’m trying, but I GIVE SO MUCH TO EGGS, AND NOW SOMEONE IS GIVING ME THE EGG! BWWWWAAAAAAAH!!!”

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Donny: “The key with eggs is that you have to hold them carefully. I don’t come from a real emotional family, you see. We don’t hold eggs at home.”
Hayden: “I wanted to start a band in 1994 called Egg.”

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“Dear Jesus, give me the strength to hold this egg, even in the face of Satan himself who crouches beside me.”
Britt: “Um, I’m not the devil. I’m just wearing a costume. And so are you.”
Jocasta: “JESUS THE DEVIL IS TAKING OVER OUR BODIES. HELP US JESUS!”
“Literally, these are 99 cent headbands.”
“LORD I REBUKE THE EVIL ON MY HEAD. I REBUKE IT!! DDD-D-D-D-D-D-DD-D!!!”

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“I don’t know whose erection I’m feeling, but I’m okay with it!” — everyone.

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“I can’t believe people equate me to Victoria. I mean, she doesn’t even talk game! Now excuse me while I brag about not talking game with Cody.”

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“If I were a superhero, my mask would look like this.”

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“omg I am histrionically crying and most certainly NOT doing it because I know the cameras are me!”

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“You know who’s hot? Zac Efron. I want to lick the sweat off his shredded torso. But, you know, not in a gay way.”

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“I never thought I would be the butchest guy in the house.”

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“Ha. Butch. That’s the name I always imagined Zac would call me if we were friends. He’d be like ‘Yo, Butch,’ and I’d be like ‘Yo, dawg,’ and he’d be like ‘Is it me or is it hot in here?’ and I’d be like ‘We should take off our shirts,’ and he’d be like ‘I like the way you think, Butch‘ and then he’d pat me on the shoulder, and we’d laugh and shit but kind of connect too. I don’t know. Just something I’ve thought about.”

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Derrick: “Here’s what I don’t understand: when Elton John says that me and you, let’s rendez-vous at the club at the end of the street — what if there are two clubs? Which club do we rendez-vous in?”
Donny: “Oh shucks. I never thought of that!”

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“My kids and I love to watch High School Musical. I think we can all agree that it’s Corbin Bleu’s movie.”

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“It’s a Zac Efron vehicle, Brittany. What are you talking about????”

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“Who is Zac Efron?”

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“JESUS. YOU CLEARLY DO NOT STICK TO THE STATUS QUO.”

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Caleb: “I am so over Amber. Enough of her. I don’t care about her anymore. And to prove it, I’m going to write her only five love poems today, instead of seven.”

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“Can you believe that Victoria thinks that she annoys me?? She doesn’t annoy me! Ugh, that is SO typical Victoria — ANNOYING.”

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“You guys, there’s a crow that’s been hanging out in the backyard, and I think he likes me. I wonder if we’ll have a showmance. Or as I like to call it, a crowmance.”

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Frankie: “What’s this?”
Cody: “Oh, just my box of Zac Efron photos.”

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“I hope I don’t get nominated-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dd.”

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“This game is very emotional to me because ALL I DO IS GIVE TO CHESS, AND NOW CHESS WANTS TO GIVE TO ME! BWWWWAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! d-d-d-d”

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“D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D.”
Donny: “Is something wrong, Jocasta?”
“I’m sorry, I can’t form words when my bow tie is crookeddd-d-dd-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d.”

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“I’m sorry, I just realized I forgot to set my DVR for Game of Crowns. I CAN’T EVEN!”

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“I have no more moves. So I guess this is when the crow swoops in and flies off with me, yes?”

What did you think about this week?

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8 thoughts on “BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Tongue Tied

  1. The ‘club at the end of the street’ reference exploded my whole face. Your photocaps make me so happy. Thanks for sharing your talent. 🙂

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