BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Why Make A Big Move When You Can Sit Pretty?

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Well, here we are — umpteen weeks into a once promising season of Big Brother, and we’re stuck with a dominant alliance that would rather pick off outsiders than think 1.5 steps ahead and make some big moves. It’s been the story of the summer, which has seen a passive minority slowly picked off by a surprisingly loyal majority. In some ways it makes sense — why turn on your team when there are easy evictions to be had? But what happens when the outsiders are gone? That’s when the Detonators will detonate themselves, and everyone who thought they were safe will suddenly regret the handy votes they could have had in Nicole and Donny. It’s their own dumb fault, really.

I guess I’m just bitter about Nicole winding up on the block. After all, there’s nothing more frustrating like watching the promise of a returning player getting snuffed out before she can wreak total, vengeful havoc. Is it so bad that I want something fun to happen on this show? The season started off so well. SO WELL.

Sigh.

Photocap after the jump…

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Jocasta: “I’m going to pray for you every night.”
Nicole: “No offense, bwwwwwwwut prayer didn’t really help the first time.”
Jocasta: “Sure it did. Remember that time I prayed to have more time to pray? That totally happened.”
“Bwwwwwwuttt…”
“THANK YOU JESUS FOR SHOWING THIS GIRL THE LIGHT!”
“Light? What light?”
“THAAAAAANK YOU JESUS!!!”
“Wwwwut’s going on?”
“JESUS!!!”
“Are you okay, Jocasta?”
“Oh girl, I am more than okay. I am FANTASTIC. And you know why? Because Jesus just told me to kiss you.”
“Wwwwutt?”
“C’mon, let’s see those lips. LORD, I AM YOUR MESSENGER.”
“Bwwwwuttt….”
“Girl, I don’t just speak in tongues. I speak with tongues.
“Bwwwwutttt… okay.”

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Nicole: “I’m not a lesbian, BWWWUTTT… I guess I can kiss Jocasta.”

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Nicole: “I wanna say your lips taste nice, BWWUTT they smell sort of like clown bow ties.”

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Jocasta: “Damn, that was sexy. Almost as sexy as JESUS!!!!!”
Nicole: “Can I go now?”
“You can’t escape the Lord, Nicole.”
“Bwwwwuttt… this is weird.”
“I don’t see what’s weird about a lady pastor wearing a cartoon bow tie trying to make out with you.”
“Hmmm… I guessssss.”

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Nicole: “That seemed like a good idea at first, bwwwwwwwwuuuuuttttt it was actually really weird.”

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Jocasta: Oh, Nicole. I give and I give and I give kisses, but I NEVER RECEIVE. THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!!”

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“I wonder why I’m never in the loop. It’s probably because I’m playing SO HARD.”

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Cody: “Wow, Beast Mode Cowboy can fly. That’s pretty dope. Anyone else kind of turned on by this?”

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Derrick: “We have to stick together.”
Victoria: “Just tell me what to do.”
Cody: “I want Donny out.”
Frankie: “yeahyeahyeah… Can we talk about my sister now? She’s, like, SO famous.”

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“You guys, I have an announcement to make, and as a social media MOGUL, you all really should listen.”

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“It’s time for tonight’s MAAAAIN EVENT. As the outgoing Head of Household, I’m ineligible to play. BUT as a FAMOUS person, I am eligible to sign autographs… so… you know… feel free to get in line.”

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“I’m so proud of myself. Not only am I one of the last women standing, but I also have the superhuman ability to lie here peacefully while my very comforter is on fire.”

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Little known fact: Cody’s parents are SNL alums Joe Piscopo and Melanie Hutsell.

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“I wonder if Kathy Griffin remembers me. I mean, she should. I am a social media mogul, after all.”

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“I just realized that this room is filled with birdhouses, but WHERE ARE THE BIRDS????”

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Donny: “You ever get to thinkin’ that the lemons next to the couch aren’t real?”

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“I’m not a bright man, but that Cody sure is stupid.”

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Donny: “I hope you don’t mind me pleadin’ my case to you right now. My momma always said the best way to win someone over is to wake them up in the middle of a deep sleep. They’ll never be grumpy!”

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Cody: “Whoooa — how did that wall know I was going to nominate those people??”

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“I’ve nominated you, Donny and Nicole, mainly because I prefer to keep the larger threats in the house. Sure, they’ll come after me as soon as you’re gone, but then again, maybe they’ll allow five winners this season; so… I guess we’ll see.”

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Cody: “Remind me again why you’re hugging me?”
Caleb: “I thought you were hugging me.”
“No, bro, you came at me with open arms.”
“Sometimes, I guess, it just feels nice to hold someone.”
“And to be held.”
“Yeah….”
“We’re kind of like the new Zankie.”
“What do we call ourselves?”
“Colub?”
“Cady?”
“Calody?”
“Mmm… I like that.”
“Me too.”
“Your skin feels nice.”
“Thanks. So does yours.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, bro. Feels like a soft balloon.”
“That means a lot, bro.”
“Calody forever.”

How do you feel about the latest happenings in the house?

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4 thoughts on “BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Why Make A Big Move When You Can Sit Pretty?

  1. Thank you! Finally something to make this season interesting. BB usually has some contestants who are a little dim, but these people are boring too.

  2. SO predictable and boring. I’m sick of the same type of idiots playing this game. Get some older, cleaner players.

  3. I’m almost over this season. Somebody do something for chrissake. These people are so stupid. I’m sick of the “hugs” and the “love you”s. I want to see this stupid alliance turn on each other. They’re such pussies, they’re just trying to avoid having to get dirty as long as possible. Cody is the biggest wimp. If he makes it to the final two. I wonder what he will say was his biggest move of the game? He hasn’t made any, other than the moves on Christine. She’s not hugging and rubbing on Cody as her strategy. If that was true, she’d be all over Derrick. Cody is a piece of meat. He has no power. He’s not going to help her get to the final two. So, she’s either stupid or she’s a liar. Nobody but Caleb, Frankie seem to be winning anything. This Thursday it will probably be either Frankie or Caleb as the new HOH. Same thing with the POV. Nicole came back and she was the first one out in the HOH comp. She entered 35 more than once, unless that was a trick of the show. I don’t really like the clique/alliance. It’s boring when it’s like this. Either you’re part of the big group or you’re on the outs. The big group is comfortable because they have the numbers. But then the others are forced to vote the way the house says. Why have a vote if nobody can vote the way they want to. Why didn’t Donny vote to evict Cody last week? He was on Zach’s side, but at the end he voted to evict him. Don’t be such a pussy. Vote the way you want to vote. Victoria is a big waste of space and air. I’m so over Frankie too.

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