Recently in Animals Category
Finding the unicorn is cool and all... but IF IT EATS MY FLOWERS I'LL KILL IT!!!
So after centuries of hunting down the unicorn, scientists think they've finally found the mythical beast. And no, it's not a white, equine animal as beautiful as the winter's snow.
It's a stupid deer with a little antler. Dumb.
UNICORNS ARE AWFUL NOW.
Single-horned 'Unicorn' deer found in Italy [Yahoo! News]
I just stumbled upon this article in Yahoo's "Oddly Enough" news department, and while I'm sure it's supposed to be amusing and heartwarming, I just found it troubling and sad. Okay, and amusing too. Basically, in 2006, a black swan named Petra fell in love with a paddleboat that resembles — you guessed it — a giant swan (a white one, to be specific). The two have been inseparable ever since. Well, almost inseparable. You see, Petra and her hunky boyfriend / boat were relocated to a local zoo where they've lived a storybook romance... until last week when a real life white swan entered the picture. This new suitor introduced Petra to the pleasures of the flesh, and soon, the old boat was given the heave-ho. At last, it seemed like Petra would be moving on from her awkward Lars and the Real Girl phase.
But in an inevitable twist, Petra's handsome new paramour up and left her to seek out the company of other black swans. When asked for a comment, the white swan merely stated, "Crazy bitch told me she spent the past two years dating a boat. A boat. That's just fucked up. I don't want my cygnets being dumb as rocks. Peace out, swan bitch."
Anyway, since being left at the proverbial altar, Petra has been visibly agitated, to the point where zookeepers fret that she's experiencing intense loneliness. Personally, I think she's just coming to the realization that she's a batshit loco swan who'll never live up to her mother's unreasonable expectations. The good news for her though was that on Friday, she was reunited with her inanimate boat lover, and thus her long-standing romance could resume. I guess it's sort of sweet and cute — until you realize how sadly delusional this bird is. [me whispering: psycho!]
For more on this kind of pathetic bird, click here.
Common sense and some sort of innate, animal instinct tells us that when it comes to lions, we humans should probably keep our distance. However, someone forgot to pass along the memo to British school teacher Kate Drew, who on a recent safari, opted to get up close and personal with the big cats, thinking that, you know, she wouldn't get her head gnawed off. Turns out that maybe she should have thought twice. The unlucky woman quickly found herself the chew-toy of choice for one jovial lion, but thankfully, she survived this completely predictable and avoidable attack. Non-graphic photos after the jump...
About ten days ago, scientists released underwater footage from the depths of the ocean that portrayed, among other things, sea spiders swimming along in the dark, icy currents. I was rather fascinated by these water-bound arachnids, and as one is wont to do in such circumstances, I promptly headed over to Wikipedia for further reading. Much to my surprise, there was a wealth of information about these little underwater critters, but nothing surprised me more than when the article announced that sea spiders "are cosmopolitan." I know that in this context, "cosmopolitan" refers merely to a near-global biological distribution of the species, but upon further research, I discovered that sea spiders are also cosmopolitan in the everyday sense too. Shocking photographic evidence after the jump.
It's funny because it's true.
I love when the Yahoo! News algorithms go funky, as evidenced here when a picture of a dog was chosen to represent the twenty-four semifinalists on American Idol. Ominous foreshadowing or merely wishful thinking? I'd tune in.
Here's something to brighten your dreary afternoon. My friend Michelle hit up the Westminster Dog Show this weekend and filmed her exploits for Best Week Ever. The results are highly amusing. Or rather, if you're looking for an unfunny video, you're barking up the wrong tree. Ha, I kill me.
Today, stalwart climate clairvoyant Punxsutawney Phil — the Al Roker of puffy rodents — emerged from his stump, and in an ominous sign for those seeking a return to warm weather, the celebrity groundhog saw his shadow, thus ushering in six more weeks of inclement winter weather.
But not all is as it seems.
The Associated Press reports that Phil's Southern counterpart, Gen. Beauregard Lee of Lilburn, GA, had not in fact seen his shadow, which means winter will end early. Furthermore, this is the third year in a row that these groundhogs have split over meteorological predictions. Have the days of bipartisan groundhoggery passed? Or maybe is it time that The Punxy Philster be dethroned?
WHOSE SIDE DO YOU TAKE???
So THIS is what happens when Kim Kardashian opens her legs...
I decided to make a LOLcat for the first time ever. If you think it's funny, click on the pic and vote on the site. If you don't think it's funny, well, then I guess this is very awkward, isn't it?
"Oh hello. I'm a little sad because I'm SO DAMN ADORABLE."
A few months ago, we all loved Knut the polar bear to pieces. I for one spent many a goofy moment smiling at the assorted galleries dedicated to his cute, joyous youth. In fact, on a recent trip to Berlin, it was all I could do to avoid dropping by the zoo and purchasing a collectible Knut tchochke. However, Knut eventually hit those awkward polar-tween years and like so many child stars before him (Jonathan Lipnicki, Hallie Eisenberg, Prince William), he quickly lost his cuteness in favor of general gawkiness (or in his case, muddy bloodlust). Luckily, we have a new cub to dote over, and unlike those silly polar bears, this one is guaranteed to stay cute for the rest of her life. Why? Because she's a goddamn baby panda, that's why. Knut will always have a special place in my heart, but for now, let's all enjoy the glory that is ZHEN ZHEN, the San Diego Zoo's newest media sensation.
A few more photos after the jump.
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