There are many things I'd expect Beyoncé to endorse. Hamburger Helper is not one of them. And so marks the most amusing Beyoncé commercial since her bizarre Directv spot.

I'm now looking forward to the inevitable Solange partnership with Past-a-Roni.

Ten days ago, an exciting thing happened: I was invited to spend the day in the Big Brother house along with eleven other members of the media. This was a minor dream come true: I got to taste the Big Brother experience without committing to a summer of national exposure (most of which I'm sure would be extremely embarrassing for me). While in the house, we played a week's worth of the game -- from Head of Household to Veto to eviction. Yes, we did it all, and it was, in short, awesome.

Nevertheless, I've been under a media embargo for the past week and a half -- but as of 6 AM this morning, the blackout has been lifted! The house guests are safely sequestered, which means I can now share not only my experiences but also the neat video that CBS edited together of us in the house. It's all sorts of fun (although, curiously, the eviction ceremony was not included on our DVD). Either way, the videos are highly entertaining, and if they don't get you psyched for the season, I don't know what will.

Also, be sure to check out my very thorough account of Media Day. It's up over at TV Week (and while you're there, be sure to check out a nifty profile of my college classmate Mindy Kaling). For those who don't need to read every single detail of the experience, I'm planning to write an abridged report that I'll have up on this site at some point. Plus, if you have any questions about the house or the experience, feel free to ask them in the forums on a thread conveniently titled "Big Brother House Q & A."

After the jump, parts I, II and III of the Big Brother media day video as well as some screen shots to help give you a sense of the house...

Another angle of the kitchen area. Unlike previous seasons which seemed hellbent on driving the houseguests nuts with a tacky decor, this house is very well appointed (with an exception or two). The whole Asian-meets-sustainability theme felt very New Age and peaceful. We all were surprised at how much we liked it.

Upstairs.

The living room. Again, the overall feel of the place is modern/upscale. Lots of plants growing along the walls (they were probably fake). What you can't see here and what you will probably rarely see on the show is that the walls are actually two stories high. As a result, the whole space is surprisingly very large and airy, and the living room in particular has a very lofty feeling, thanks to the high wall of tiered planters.

Another angle of the living room. Lots of woody and green (both literal and figurative) touches. Also, plenty of CB2 decor -- note the vases in the background.

The swanky bathroom. I had a zit I really wanted to pop, but I was afraid to look in any mirror longer than half a second for fear that a long, lingering close-up of my face would wind up in the press footage.

The backyard. I enjoyed the silly mural of windmills against the back wall, but that might be just because I tend to like anything windmill related. Also, the yard was much narrower than I had expected and certainly not as expansive as I had always imagined it to be.

One of the bedrooms.

The "pool" room. The entire decor of this bedroom clashes with the rest of the house, offering up a bright and gaudy public pool experience.

From what we could tell, people in the pool room will have no blankets. They'll have to make do by sleeping under these foamy rafts. And yes, the pillow cases are vinyl. Expect lots of sweaty faces.

The exercise/spa room. As you can see, the walls have been decorated with recyclable materials. It actually looks very cool in person. Additionally, the leftmost wall is entirely covered in bubble wrap, and yes, I accidentally popped three or four of them. (Also note that the two bikes power the light bulbs on the counter. Sustainability etc.)

The hallway leading to the Diary Room.

Me complaining about berries in the Diary Room. As you can see, lots of bright blue colors in there and a modern backdrop.

Entering the HOH room. The wall behind the bed actually featured a trickling waterfall. Very zen.

Exposed beams and a photographic mural of a coastline were surprisingly effective in creating the illusion of being perched in a hillside mansion.

Here we are lounging in the HOH room. It felt much larger than it looks here in this shot.

Me in the Veto Competition wearing a beanie. A proud moment.

An even prouder moment: pulling my key!

And now the video. This is all the footage we were given in its entirety. The Big Brother production staff edited our stay together like an actual episode. Needless to say, it's totally surreal and awesome. A lot of stuff didn't make the cut though -- specifically the scheming and campaigning and whatnot. We weren't a particularly cutthroat group, but there was a bit more there than perhaps this footage might suggest. To read about all that stuff, check out TV Week. To see us in action, check out the videos below...

Part I

Part II, wherein I present a glorious pit stain to America.

Part III.

Also check out We Love Big Brother and Fancast!

Scallions can really be a pain in my ass sometimes. If you buy too many, they wilt. If you buy too few, you run out. It's a balancing act that can drive a man to tears, but thankfully, I think I've stumbled upon a solution. You see, during last week's episode of Next Food Network Star, one of the contestants imparted a helpful tip to the audience: if you stick the white bulbs of a scallion in a cup of water, the stalk will grow back. Could it be? Does a solution so simple truly exist? Might this signal the end of my scallion woes?

Well, after some cross-referencing with the Internet — which is always factual — it seemed like yes, this method does work. I couldn't wait to try it. Luckily, my Korean burrito adventure last week required the use of many scallions. I was sure to save the bulbs and place them in a glass of water on my windowsill. This would be an experiment of the ages, and as such, I've decided to document it religiously here on the blog in what I call Project Scallion.

The experiment, which is only four and a half days old, has already proven to be quite exciting. Images after the jump...

The next morning, I was shocked to see what looked like about half an inch of growth out of one of the stalks.

A day later, the stalks had grown even more. Plus, as you can see, I had also added more bulbs to the party.

That one scallion second from the left was proving to be the real superstar. The Dwight Howard of green onions.

By Friday, the scallions had breached the upper realms of the glass.

This was all very encouraging for me.

This might warrant a celebratory rendition of Celine Dion's epic work, "A New Day Has Come."

A veritable forest of scallions.

Today, the scallions have begun to emerge from the glass en masse.

By this time next week, I may have brand new scallions ready to use.

So far so good. Hopefully this experiment will prove to be successful and tasty. Let's just cross our fingers that no unexpected disasters befall this crop.

Developing...

Yesterday, I tried to visit Michael Jackson's star but found it unfortunately covered up by Bruno premiere scaffolding. Today, I decided to give it another go. My gym is conveniently located half a block away from it on the Walk of Fame; so I made a little detour to see what I imagined would be a sizable shrine to the King of Pop. Some photos after the jump...

See that guy with the sunglasses? Yeah, he was a security guard, and he wasn't letting people by to see the star. But what I could see from this vantage point was that metal barricades had been erected, keeping people away from MJ's star. Not all people were denied access though.

As you can see, the press had front row access to the star. Every media outlet from CBS to ABC to Univision to others were there. I think I saw Steve Croft from 60 Minutes. Nevertheless, between the guards, the barriers, and the press, there was no way to see the star. I think, however, I overheard someone saying that if I approached the star from the other direction, I could shuffle by it like a funeral viewing, emerging where the above guard was standing. As is often the case though, laziness won out. I wasn't gonna go trek down Hollywood Boulevard and circle back and then stand in a line. The moment had passed.

Better luck next time. Until then, I'll just content myself with the Mahalia Jackson star above.