Join Our Club! Oh, wait. DON'T.

I just received an email that was quite curious, and not because it called me by the Asian-esque name, “BEN BEN.” The cyber missive came from an organization called HollywoodMixer.com, and seeing that the title comprised two of my favorite things, I was immediately intrigued. After the header (From: admin@hollywoodmixer.com, To: BEN BEN), the first […]

Grammar 1, Idiots 0

To those unfamiliar with the latest offerings on Los Angeles’s Lazy Susan of fads, one particular sensation that has swept the city by storm has been the Frozen Yogurt craze, helpfully nurtured by Pinkberry and its many imitators. Basically, people have rediscovered FroYo, but this time around, they’ve taken out the flavoring, added fresh toppings, […]

ROW ALERT: Countess of Wessex Out-Hats Royal Family

Breaking news from the Royal Family. New mother Sophie Rhys-Jones, a.k.a. the Countess of Wessex (or C.O.W.), has proven that while her title is un-throneworthy, she’s certainly the queen (get it?) of hats. I know this must seem like a scone-shattering proclamation to all you Camilla Parker Bowles fans, but before you get your clotted […]

DEAD CELEBRITIES: Dan Fogelberg Edition

“I’m gentle.” Dan Fogelberg, singer of one of my favorite soft-rock weepies, “Same Old Lang Syne,” has died at 56 from cancer. Great. ANOTHER reason to cry at his music. More info here. And for those of you unfamiliar with Fogelberg’s brand of so-sad-you-want-to-curl-up-in-a-ball-and-sob music, here’s a strange little YouTube tribute to his album artwork […]

Further Evidence That Los Angeles Is Run By Idiots

MTA to Los Angeles:  You need more traffic  According to the Los Angeles Times, there’s apparently a movement afoot to install toll mechanisms on the previously free and glorious carpool lanes that extend across L.A. county’s myriad highways.  The thinking is that drivers should pay for the luxurious privilege of a reduced traffic lane, especially […]

I Will Eat This

Ever since the days of The Amazing Race 4 when the then-married couple of Chip and Reichen had to down a plate full of writhing octopus tentacles — a local Korean delicacy, no less — I’ve thought to myself “I bet I could do that.”  Yes, chalk it up to couch-emboldened bravery or a disillusioned […]

Kwanzaa Time? YUUUM!

“Happy Kwanzaa, black people.  From me and my breasts!” I happened to be perusing the program listings on my Tivo today, and not only did I discover that Sandra Lee was going to attempt a shiksa-tastic Star of David Cake in honor of my people, but she was also going to hone her inner Angelou […]

Whopper There It Is!

Never one to turn down a solid prank by Corporate America on, you know, America, I bring to you this joyful bit of viral advertising, highlights of which have been appearing on the air for a week or two now.  It’s Burger King’s curious question:  What would happen if the Whopper were discontinued?  Well, aside […]

RESTAURANT REVIEW: Vito's Pizza

For those of you who don’t live in Los Angeles, there’s something you should know about our currently frosty (63 degrees!!) city:  we have very bad pizza.  Let me restate that:  we have very bad normal pizza.  The dainty, gourmet stuff is fine.  You know what I’m talking about:  the fancy stuff with the proscuitto […]