How I Survived Zico’s “Banging Body Bootcamp”

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I am not known generally as a “morning person,” unless, of course, being a morning person means being irritable, slow, and angry at said morning. That’s why when I was invited to a bootcamp this morning at 8 AM, sponsored by ZICO chilled juices, I was like hellllll no. Why on Earth would I voluntarily wake up at 7:30 AM only to have my ass kicked?

But then I saw that there’d be massages and manis afterwards, and suddenly, my outlook changed. Needless to say, I soon found myself bright-eyed and bushy-tailed on the rooftop of the Montalban Theater in Hollywood, slurping down ZICO smoothies and booty-shaking to celebrity trainer Jennifer “JJ Dancer” Johnson’s aggressive routines. Somehow, I survived. I apologize in advance to the janitorial crew that later had to mop up my puddle of sweat.

Anyway, it was all super fun, and for once I was doing something healthy instead of stuffing my face with food. Pics of this extravaganza after the jump…

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Check Out The Junk in My Trunk

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Back in 1995, I was an affable young man, newly minted with a driver’s license and terrorizing the quiet streets of Katonah, NY with my brand of cautious driving and leery lane changing. My vehicle of choice (or rather, the vehicle my parents let me drive) was a bright red Toyota Camry — one that I later took with me to college and then eventually to Los Angeles. Over that span of years, the Camry accumulated all sorts of charming mementos (aka trash), and when the poor car finally flunked out on a sweltering Van Nuys side street in 2006, I was faced with the daunting task of cleaning all the crap out.

Naturally, I shoved everything into a thin garbage bag and transferred it into the trunk of my shiny, new Camry — with the goal that I would go home that night and sift through the memories. Eight years later, I finally got around to it.

This is what I found.

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BANTER WITH BEN AND LISA #69: Government Shutdown! New Britney Spears Video! Moby Dick!

You guys, this was a good one….

There’s only one podcast on earth that can discuss the government shutdown, Britney Spears’s new video, and Moby Dick without skipping a beat. We discuss all that and more on this latest episode of “Banter with Ben and Lisa.” Also going into the banter blender: “Gravity,” ghost tours of Savannah, biker gangs, Grand Theft Auto V, and what your Facebook status updates might say about you. Plus, more etiquette lessons from 1888. Come listen!

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Jim Bellino Might Just Be Super Mario

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Jim Bellino and wife Alexis from The Real Housewives of Orange County

I mean, the comparison just has to be made.

And if Jim is Mario, that makes Alexis…

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COMMENT OF THE WEEK: 5/16/11 – 5/22/11

Comment of the Week is back! I took a break back in April when I was traveling, but now I’m ready to start it up again. Plus, the fact that people are so fired up about Real Housewives of New York City and New Jersey has helped boost the number of funny comments on this site.

This past week saw a lot of gems, but the one that made me chuckle the most had to do with LuAnn on RHoNYC. Robbie wrote:

“I loved LuAnn’s comment in the van on the way to Rancho Relaxo ‘She (Ramona) better behave herself on this trip (Morocco) or she’s not coming’ – is this a paradox?”

Well done, Robbie. Your quote will be on the sidebar for a whole week!

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Introducing The Coolest T-Shirt Ever (If I Do Say So Myself)

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IndianJones with our custom t-shirts.

Once a year, the fine (and entirely way too cold and rainy) city of San Francisco hosts a race called Bay To Breakers, wherein several people run across the city… and everyone else dresses up in costumes and drinks their asses off. I’d heard from my friend IndianJones that it was a blast; so I decided to head up to the City by the Bay this weekend to partake in the action. Now I’m here, and even better: so are blog regulars Malibu Judie and Sly (as well as our other friend who wishes to remain 100% anonymous). The only thing missing is a group costume. Well, we weren’t really planning on going all out, but as it turns out, IndianJones’s friends have all adopted a British theme; so in the spirit of all things Royal Wedding and such, our little group decided to design t-shirts for the occasion. Our fine work after the jump.

And yes, this is all very self-congratulatory, but we’re just really really excited about these t-shirts…

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COMMENT OF THE WEEK: 4/11/11 – 4/17/11

In an effort to promote further activity on the site and community building and all that fun stuff, I’ve decided to introduce a Comment of the Week feature that will highlight some of the best and funniest contributions by you, my dear readers. Whoever is selected will have his or her quote featured on the sidebar for a whole week (oooooh!!) and will thus be able to use those bragging rights in whatever manner seems appropriate.

There were a lot of great comments last week, but the funniest ones all seemed to stem from the Real Housewives of Orange County photocap. And the winner is…

“Tamra and her twat talk are boring. Newsflash, a good pounding will make you think that you found your ‘soulmate’. Enjoy the fucking and get off my TV already. Unless that fight with Jeana is soon, I could care less.” — LAC on REAL HOUSEWIVES OF OC PHOTOCAP: Putting the Eh in España

Congrats, LAC! Runners up after the jump… Continue reading

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COMMENT OF THE WEEK: 4/4/11 – 4/10/11

In an effort to promote further activity on the site and community building and all that fun stuff, I’ve decided to introduce a Comment of the Week feature that will highlight some of the best and funniest contributions by you, my dear readers. Whoever is selected will have his or her quote featured on the sidebar for a whole week (oooooh!!) and will thus be able to use those bragging rights in whatever manner seems appropriate.

I must say that there were some funny comments this week, partially thanks to some leftovers from last week’s Ina Garten flame war. But whose commentary reigned supreme? Why, it’s this one:

“Damn. Why is a dick in a mouth an insult? It’s a positive thing for most people. Just sayin.” — Dainsey on Make-A-Wish Kid Rejects Ina Garten, Is Awful

Runners up after the jump…

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COMMENT OF THE WEEK: 3/28/11 – 4/3/11

In an effort to promote further activity on the site and community building and all that fun stuff, I’ve decided to introduce a Comment of the Week feature that will highlight some of the best and funniest contributions by you, my dear readers. Whoever is selected will have his or her quote featured on the sidebar for a whole week (oooooh!!) and will thus be able to use those bragging rights in whatever manner seems appropriate.

We had some really funny comments this week (as well as several angry ones). Here is the winner:

“I still find it odd that the kid’s wish was to meet a 60+ year old Food Network personality vs. like, iCarly or the Biebs.

In the words of Jack Donaghy, ‘Her name is the Barefoot Contessa. And you’ll NEVER be like her.'” — Alli on Make-A-Wish Kid Rejects Ina Garten, Is Awful

Congrats Alli! You get glorious bragging rights!

Some very funny runners up after the jump.

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COMMENT OF THE WEEK: 3/21/11 – 3/27/11

In an effort to promote further activity on the site and community building and all that fun stuff, I’ve decided to introduce a Comment of the Week feature that will highlight some of the best and funniest contributions by you, my dear readers. Whoever is selected will have his or her quote featured on the sidebar for a whole week (oooooh!!) and will thus be able to use those bragging rights in whatever manner seems appropriate.

This week’s choice:

“Vicki – still hitting all the uggh notes – No speakie the Spanish? Ok, bitch, how about just asking the foreman to translate. I do not speak Spanish very well at all, but you bet your truffle hunting face I would not be doing the pigeon spanish shit at them. Those bannisters can be “fixed” to go while you duck walk your always working ass down the stairs, you heiffa.” — LAC on REAL HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Time For A Ho’ Bath

Congrats, LAC. You get bragging rights for the week!

Runner-up:

“poor little Enzo will never know the true beauty of the stamens of crocuses now. Damn you Ina!” — Zoobabe on 10 Reasons Why INA GARTEN IS NOT A MONSTER

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