How much do we love Kelly Cutrone? Let me count the ways…
Unfortunately for us, it doesn’t appear as though Kell on Earth or The City are returning to the air anytime soon (booo!); so while we wait for another reality show to display Kelly in all her splendor, we have her book to play around with. In fact, if you’d like your own free copy of If You Have To Cry, Go Outside, by all means head over to my friends at Socialite Life who are holding their very own contest. Jump on this opportunity now before IT’S FUCKING FASHION WEEK!
There’s no Kell on Earth or The City on TV these days; so where can we get our weekly dose of Kelly Cutrone? The Internet, of course! Specifically The Huffington Post where Kelly posted this angry screed of a video which documents the alleged bungling of a wake-up call and a request for coffee by the Sheraton Hotel in Toronto. Kelly is rightfully angry that her wakeup call is twenty minutes late and her pot of coffee totally non existent, and she makes her voice heard in a shaky, hilarious, and slightly terrifying video.
Most amusing of all is when Kelly threatens to expose these crimes against humanity on the “FUCKING HUFFINGTON POST,” as if that’s going to put the Sheraton out of business. Kelly then goes on to proclaim that she’s an MTV star (not a Bravo star??) and a television personality and that she shouldn’t be treated this way. Normally, I’d be loath to applaud such prima dona statements of entitlement, but this is Kelly Cutrone, and when she does it, it’s amazing.
Last week, I received a Tweet from B-Side Blog reader Aiii (not to be confused with Real World: Cancun’s Ayiiia), who had fantastic news to share. She had just gone to a book signing for none other than pop culture’s preeminent power bitch, Kelly Cutrone. Clearly this was a very exciting and important development; so I demanded details. Aiii was happy to oblige and sent me the following email, which features plenty of tasty morsels of gossip.
Nylon magazine held a party for “Young Hollywood” last night, and my friend Jenny and her friends managed to wrangle invites for themselves. Jenny got me on the list too, but by the time I got there, the fire marshall had shown up and shut down the line. This was a tragic setback for me and my celebrity sighting ambitions, but fear not, I did have two noteworthy run-ins. First, as I mentioned in my Cityphotocap, I walked right by Whitney Port, who looked stunning — no exaggeration. Less glamorous but still worthy of my excitement was my second “star”: Robyn from Kell on Earth. She was actually working the door, and I must admit I felt a sense of trepidation as I approached her. I thought she was going to just throw me out of the Roosevelt Hotel (and then complain that I hadn’t filed something properly). My interaction with her was fine though, and she merely redirected me to a table outside for check-in (which, sadly, never happened thanks to the pesky fire marshall).
Well, I missed out, but Jenny got into the party, and she brought along her little Pink Toy Phone. I capitalize the letters because Jenny and her friends have launched a little Facebook community devoted to this “phone,” which in actuality is just a trinket from McDonald’s. The deal with the Pink Toy Phone is that Jenny and her friends bring it to cool places (usually in Hollywood) and take pictures of it with various people, celebrities, or who knows what. Just think of it as Flat Stanley, except not flat and much gayer.
Nevertheless, Jenny certainly got a few choice pics of the phone with various luminaries (mostly from The Hills). Her pics — with and without the phone — after the jump. Continue reading →
Every week I extol the many virtues of Kell On Earth, and while normally I live for the high drama and screaming overlords, this time around, I come praising the series itself and its notable depiction of a hectic office. Often times, the workplaces we see on TV tend to be glamorous salons or fashion boutiques or otherworldly places that don’t ever seem to take place in reality. The cramped confines of People’s Revolution, however, has the genuine feel of most work environments. Sure, its business is concerned with the rarified world of high fashion, but at its core, Kell On Earth is as much about running an office as it is about gawking at designer labels. Week in and week out, major plot points and drama center around reports getting done, office supplies going awry, and personnel deficiencies that threaten to undermine the entire operation. It’s the nitty-gritty, workaday world that we see, and while People’s Revolution may not be as cleaned up and sanitized as say a docuseries based at an insurance corporation, I imagine the themes are similar. Kell On Earth is truly the most accurate portrayal of small business culture on TV.
Last night’s episode didn’t have much by way of major fireworks, but it did feature the departure of yet another staffer — this time Andrew Serrano, who ultimately quit after an episode’s worth of hemming and hawing. Clearly his bumbling ways were not missed, as evidenced by the dubious “Thanks for the Memories” montage Bravo afforded him — complete with tanning bed moments and Atavin offerings. Aside from that, the hour mostly focused on the other Andrew and his affable, if privileged, ways. The long-haired assistant dealt with many obstacles over the course of the show, from paper shortages to photo shoot tasks, but no ordeal was quite as drama-filled as his silly Addams Family themed dinner. You see, Andrew had told everyone to be there at nine, but Skinner and That Other Girl didn’t arrive until eleven. Dunh dunh DUNH!!! What to do? Normally, I’d say “eat,” but Andrew, being the gentlemanly host, waited and waited and waited. This way, once the ladies arrived, everyone was appropriately crabby and hungry. Fun times.
Alas, no major drama resulted from this dinner party, but that was okay because I knew we were in store for a major tragedy; one involving an ambulance and Kelly crying. After all, it had been all over the promos all week. But no! Despite heavy promotion, there wasn’t even a trace of a medical emergency. Not cool, Bravo.
Photocap after the jump.
After an egregious, abhorrent one week absence, Kell On Earth returned to the airwaves Monday night, and while FUCKING FASHION WEEK is now over, the stress remains high and intense at the offices of People’s Revolution. This latest episode focused on the trials and tribulations of Stephanie Skinner, who seemed to be crumbling under the weight of Steph Vorhees’ abandoned responsibilities. And let me tell you something: poor Skinner does not take stress well. Her eyes become sunken, her face goes pale, and she more or less looks like death. You know, like Kelly (who amusingly admitted that she is not the most photogenic person in the Western World).
Anyway, as Stephanie tried to take on every task herself, her life was made imminently more difficult by the two-headed beast that is Robily (or Emilyn?). The two senior staff members repeatedly demanded more and more from wee Skinner, who admittedly seems to be fairly unskilled in the delegation and prioritization department. As you can imagine, this led to a one way ticket on the meltdown express, especially after Emily — the most cutting and nasty of the group — asked for some much needed reports. Skinner announced that she didn’t have them quite ready, and then the next thing we knew, both women were yelling at each other, with Skinner ultimately trotting out of the office to sob in the street. To be fair to Emily, I wouldn’t say Stephanie’s methods of communication are always the wisest. I get the sense that she’s trying to hold her own in this office of power bitches, but her responses to her superiors’ questions often come off as defensive and bratty, not self-possessed and confident. It’s enough to make a supervisor go batty. Plus, I’m not sure they want to keep hearing about how she’s doing the work of umpteen people.
But then again, Stephanie is doing the work of umpteen people, and as far as we can tell, the Andrews are doing nothing but staring at their computers and dreaming about getting laid. Part of me feels like Stephanie doesn’t want to delegate her work in an effort to be something of a martyr, and then another part of me wonders if maybe she’s just wary of letting someone like Andrew Serrano touch anything vaguely important, lest he spill a bottle of bronzer or lube over an important document.
With the mania of fashion week (or rather, FUCKING FASHION WEEK) over at Kell On Earth, one would think things would calm down at the offices of People’s Revolution, but as last night’s episode showed us, there’s still plenty of wonderful chaos swirling about at any given time of the day. Yes, there were tears and heartache in spades as not one, but two people got fired over the course of the hour. Well, actually, three people got the axe. Although, one of them sort of quit amidst the firing. It’s hard to say. The point is, people lost their jobs, and there was much bitchery to go along with it.
I have been bubbling with anticipation for tonight as Bravo airs yet another episode of my new favorite show, Kell On Earth. The series has been everything I could dream of, and last week in Club Med, I forced both my parents to watch it. Even though they might not have enjoyed it per se, they did discuss Kelly and her office quite a bit over the next two or three days, and I’m pretty sure my mom is going to record it on her Tivo now, which is impressive being that my mom’s normal reaction to reality tv is “Ben, this is the lowest of the low.”
Yes, getting my parents on board with Kelly Cutrone was a very exciting development for me, but even more thrilling was that over the weekend, Ms. Cutrone herself retweeted on of my tweets! This means only one thing: you and all your friends should be following me on Twitter. #shameless
Anyway, before I alternately gush and brag too much, here are some preview clips for tonight’s new episode. Above, Kelly kicks some lady out of her seat at a fashion show. It’s nothing that hasn’t already been shown a million times in promos all week, but hey, it’s still funny. After the jump, two more vids. One features that mousy, pill-pushing assistant (whose name I neither remember nor care to learn) having a total breakdown, causing the bronzer to flow off his face. The other clip hints at the beginning of a major People’s Revolution scandal as one of the previously unseen assistants winds up tied to an alcohol theft at one of the shows. HMMMMM…
After last week’s awesome series premiere, Kell On Earth returns tonight with a whole new hour of footage that will hopefully feature Kelly Cutrone screaming at every mortal soul around her. If the preview clips are any indication, she’ll certainly be flipping her shit at least once or twice tonight, especially when the interns en masse screw up a vital gift bag project. The video above shows the lead up to what will surely be a withering attack, but sadly, it cuts away before we can see Kelly truly lay into the newbies.
After the jump are two more clips. One features a model collapsing off camera, and the other shows crowd control in the wake of last week’s list mishaps getting out of hand. My excitement knows no bounds!
At long last, Kelly Cutrone’s new Bravo series Kell On Earth premiered last night, and it was pretty much everything I could have wanted. The entire episode was one big tea kettle of stress, slowly bubbling away over the course of sixty minutes until finally the pressure was too great, leading Kelly to flip her shit in one of her most seething blow-ups I’d ever seen (if you’re still following the metaphor, that was the moment that the teapot began to whistle). Even better, I got the distinct impression that this explosion was just a little nothing on the Kelly scale. Oh, I can only imagine what treats will be in store for us over the course of the season.