Category Archives: The Hills

Coming Soon To A Theater Near You: ‘The Hills?’

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Here’s a fun rumor I’d like to indulge: a big screen version of The Hills might be headed our way. Back last year when the series ended, Hills creator Adam DiVello hinted that he wanted to take the seminal pseudo-reality show to the multiplex, but alas, the cast wasn’t on board.

Now it’s been a year, and the stars have aligned. Maybe. Audrina Patridge told Ryan Seacrest that “We’ve all had our break. Maybe we’ll all come back together and do a movie.” Translation: “Okay, I’m ready to be famous again.”

Of course, just because Audrina has fleetingly suggested she’d be game for a Hills movie doesn’t make it a green-lit project. However, with Lauren’s MTV pilot rejected, Heidi’s fame dwindling, and Whitney… well, Whitney seems happy and plucky — point is, the time might be right to get the band back together. I know I’d watch (and don’t you dare pass judgment, especially if you’re racing out to see Glee 3D). If only there were an epic big screen edition of The City in the pipeline too. Kelly Cutrone in Imax? I’m there.

There’s only one question: what will hit theaters first — this project or the Arrested Development movie?

Would you watch? Yea or Nay?

For more information, click here.

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‘Beverly Hills’ Housewife Taylor Armstrong’s Cameo on ‘The Hills’

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Before Taylor Armstrong was known as that woman from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills getting divorced, she was merely friends with Linda Thompson, a.k.a. Brody’s Mom. And just as Linda Thompson has made several cameos in Taylor’s world on RHoBH, Taylor, it turns out, has made at least one appearance on The Hills.

Pics of Taylor’s MTV debut after the jump…

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THE HILLS FINALE PHOTOCAP: Goodbye, Sweet Hills

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I already posted a recap of The Hills finale, but MTV hadn’t posted pics yet from the episode. Now they’re up, which means that I can put a close to The Hills with one last photocap for old time’s sake.

After the jump, the end of an era. Sniff sniff…

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Spencer Pratt Crashes ‘Hills’ After-Party, Looks CRAZY

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I don’t know many details about this, but according to USA Today, Spencer Pratt tried to go to the Hills after party last night in Hollywood. Unsurprisingly, he was turned away at the door.

Upon seeing the above photo, Heidi’s reasons for divorce are now massively clear. Why even bother going through ten surgical procedures just to be stuck with what appears to be the offspring of Santa Claus and the Yeti.

But wait! According to People, Spencer’s crazy appearance was merely a costume intended to help him get into the Roosevelt Hotel. And MSNBC reports that Spencer told fans outside the Roosevelt that “I’m legally released now to be free in America. Freedom of speech. So you can hear my obnoxious mouth on a whole, grander scale!” The whole thing is sort of bonkers and pathetic. But sadly not unexpected.

Crystals FAIL.

MSNBC: Spencer Pratt makes a scene at ‘Hills’ party
People: Spencer Pratt’s Wacky Night at The Hills Finale

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THE HILLS FINALE RECAP: The Rest Is Still Unwritten

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And now it’s over. Last night, The Hills sadly went off the air, capping a television season that saw many heavy hitters (Lost, 24, and Law & Order) go the way of the dodo. It was a bittersweet moment for me. Bitter because the show I had loved (and occasionally loved to hate) was now gone. Sweet because, well, I don’t know. Scratch that. THIS WAS AN ALL BITTER EXPERIENCE, AND NOW I’M ANGRY. Why must the TV gods yank this series from the airwaves, especially when it had just found its voice again in the past few weeks?

Alas, all good things must come to an end, and truth is that prior to its late-run rejuvenation, The Hills was kind of running on fumes. Plus, media awareness of the cast and all their lives really undermined any element of surprise, which is maybe why last night’s finale lacked some of the drama that perhaps was intended. The whole premise was that the central clique of girls — Kristin, Audrina, Steph, and Lo — were suddenly, for no apparent reason on screen, at a crossroads in their life. They had reached a quarter-life crisis, one that no doubt was spurred on by MTV’s decision to cancel the show. Now they all wanted to figure out what to do with their lives (ie. pitch their next reality show projects), which meant it was time to “move on.”

Now, I realize that at the ripe old age of 31 I may be over the hill, but when I hit 25, my friends and I didn’t suddenly raise a glass to the good times and decide to hit the road. But this was the finale; so I suppose we can suspend disbelief and pretend like these women were all on the verge of disappearing into the ether that had swallowed up Lauren Conrad whole.

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THE HILLS PHOTOCAP: Most Depressing Episode EVER

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There’s only one, one, episode left of The Hills, and I’m starting to get a little misty-eyed. Where else am I going to get my weekly dose of grungy douchebags galavanting about Hollywood with no discernible direction in their lives? I suppose I could just, you know, step outside my apartment to find that, but it’s not as fun when I have to encounter it in real life. Nevertheless, the show is about to disappear forever, and perhaps the cast is realizing that their stars are about to fade away significantly. Why else would last night’s penultimate episode have been SO DAMN DEPRESSING?

The biggest downer came from Kristin, who revealed that she did truly want to have a relationship with Brody. Sucks for her though because the Brodester is dating some mystery girl now (my money’s on LC. The dramatic reveal in the finale would be too great for MTV to pass up, even if the two aren’t dating in real life). Brody first told his boyz about the secret lady friend while visiting a body shop that Sleazy-T apparently works at. And yes, in case you forgot, Brody’s new thing is to be all about Hemis and motorcycles. Why? I don’t know. But when one is a mercurial spirit like Brody Jenner, one never knows what douchey interests might surface in his life.

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HILLS PHOTOCAP: Audrina’s Lazy Susan of Douchebags Brings Justin Bobby Back Into The Fold

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I’m loving The Hills these days. Kristin’s bitchy demeanor has come into its own (much as it did on her second season of Laguna Beach), and the introduction of this Allie Lutz girl has been nothing but pure entertainment. It’s somewhat tragic that we seem to be limited to only one run-in per week between these two because when they go at it, America wins. On last night’s show, it was more of the same between them. The two encountered each other at local club MyHouse, and unsurprisingly, Allie felt the need to march up to Kristin to announce that there was no reason for them to hate each other. Kristin wasn’t having any of it and retorted that Allie was certifiably insane. There was much talk about an alleged diamond ring, but ultimately, Allie retreated to her seat with McKaela, who once again bore the brunt of the cool kids’ wrath. Didn’t she know not to bring loser Allie “around”? (I love that they talk as if they’re in some 1950s diner).

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HILLS PHOTOCAP: When Idiots Attack

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I’m starting to feel a little sad about something. Out of nowhere, The Hills has become good again, but alas, it’s getting the ax. Such a sad fate for a once mighty show. To be fair, it’s downfall was its own doing. The show began to focus too much on the dolts and douchebags of Hollywood, rather than the girly girl crap that once made it so proud. Remember the days of Lauren and Heidi rifting as friends? Their arguments on the sofa? Their seething attacks? Their occasional negligence of Ashes the cat? Back then, the show was about girls bonding with girls and getting mad at each other (ie. Jen Bunney).

It seems as though The Hills has gotten back somewhat to its former place. Maybe the sudden disappearance of Speidi has something to do with it. Or maybe it’s that the “new cast” with Kristin at its helm has finally gelled. Stephanie has become oddly winsome lately, and her sweet romance with Max, who earns the title of first non-douchebag male suitor to appear on The Hills, has been shockingly charming. There’s something about her hangdog face and his smiley smile that makes me want these two to get together. Plus, he brought her Girl Scout Cookies. Bonus points there.

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HILLS PHOTOCAP: Breaking And Entering

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The big news on this week’s episode of The Hills is that Kristin’s newest, biggest enemy is a cougar with a California drawl and a penchant for trespassing. Allegedly. And technically the girl isn’t a cougar. She just plays one on TV. I’m talking about Allie Lutz, a blonde mason jar of a girl who made an unexpected arrival at Stephanie Pratt’s birthday (notably absent: Heidi and Spencer, who were thankfully MIA the entire episode for the third week in a row). Sporting tacky lipstick and a persnickety attitude, Allie did little to win over any new fans, and my goodness, she had an annoying voice, even for Hills standards.

Well, Kristin and Allie got into it at the bar, with Kristin accusing her rival of having broken into Brody’s house. Of course, Allie denied all charges, and I was inclined to believe her. After all, since when do cougars climb through windows? Clearly too many threats to the fake nails and Juicy Couture sweatsuits. Oh, but that’s right. Allie’s not 47. I have to keep reminding myself of that. Luckily, I wasn’t the only one picking up on her aging-pornstar appearance. The other girls at the bar agreed that Allie looked like a washed up stripper, and all kidding aside, I really did think at first she was some mid-level personality from the adult entertainment industry. However, she wasn’t. She merely dressed like one. And poor, sweet McKaela was stuck with her, not realizing she had committed a crazy party foul by bringing this daffy trollop to the party. Bitch can’t catch a break.

Ultimately, McKaela and Kristin wound up hashing things out about Allie and Brody, with the Kristin informing the ingenue that if she kept bringing A-Lutz around, there were gonna be problems. Kristin was also happy to pop McKaela’s bubble when she theorized that the only reason why Brody had ever whispered sweet nothings in her ear was because — SHOCKER — he wanted to have sex with her. Too bad he was still knocking boots with Kristin. Woops.

As for the rest of the episode, there was some forgettable patter between Audrina, Ryan, and Justin Bobby, but as you can imagine, the extreme douchiness of these scenes forced my ear canals to swell shut and block out all auditory input. Funny how that happens. Nevertheless, not an exciting subplot. Heck, not an exciting episode (minus the Allie junk, which looks like the makings of a wonderfully campy rivalry). Hence the short recap.

Photos after the jump…

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HILLS PHOTOCAP: Justin Bobby’s Back. Again.

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Do not adjust your televisions. Justin Bobby has come back to The Hills, which may or may not explain that wafting stank emanating from your entertainment center. Yes, the oft-dirty, oft-annoying ex-boyfriend of Audrina made his triumphant return to the series last night, and lucky us, we got two douches (viz. Ryan Cabrera) for the admission price of one. The settup was simple. Audrina suddenly had a job at Epic again, and as part of her responsibilities, she needed to check out some band named Purple Melon at the Viper Room. She brought Lo and Steph along for the ride, and then wouldn’t you know it? Justin Bobby’s band took the stage after Purple Melon had taken their bows. This led to the usual sequence of events. First Audrina felt awkward and wanted to leave. Then she began smiling. And then she was back in love all over again. Meanwhile, we had to sit and watch as every cutaway to Justin Bobby revealed him in less and less clothing (and more and more sweat).

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