Love ain’t what it used to be. These days, the idea of embarking on an open relationship is becoming increasingly common for couples — although, perhaps not necessarily normal. The entire concept — for the uninitiated — is that partners remain emotionally loyal to each other but engage in the occasional (or perhaps regular) extracurricular sexual encounter. It’s an untraditional arrangement that works perfectly well for certain couples, but may in fact create more headaches than romance for others.
This is why ground rules are usually needed, and when it comes to establishing parameters, nothing tops the contract a friend of mine received when he and his partner experimented with an open relationship six years ago. Thankfully, my friend granted me full permission to post it here for your entertainment. And no, the “friend” is not me. It’s a shame because I would love to take full ownership of this story. Nevertheless, this document truly calls the notion of “open” into question.
There are many pressing questions in this world: is Carnival Cruise Lines actually run by carnies? Is Carnie Wilson related to Owen and Luke? And does Owen get jealous that it’s called Luke warm and not Owen warm?
I know what you’re saying: “Ben, you are INSIDE MY BRAIN.” Well, you’re welcome. But I’d like to add another puzzling question to the list.
Is the man in the above photo smiling or scowling? It sort of looks like a smile, but it also looks vaguely angry. Maybe he’s “smizing.” I really can’t tell, and I welcome all input on this VERY. PRESSING. ISSUE.
Some creative souls in Sweden animated a Super Mario Bros. adventure with beads, and the end result is nothing short of awesome, amazing, genius, and great. I think this may be one of the best things I’ve ever seen on YouTube.
For two more shorter adventures, check out the filmmakers’ SMB playlist here. Oh, and here’s a behind-the-scenes / making-of video, which is conveniently in Swedish.
Every so often, I post some amazing cake that my friend Mark Randazzo has whipped up at his bakery, Mark Joseph Cakes. Well, this latest offering for a Trump Soho bridal shower is one of his most impressive, at least in terms of recreations. It’s a cake in the form of a Christian Louboutin shoebox with a red-soled sugar shoe on the side. Color me impressed. I fully expect this to take Pinterest by storm.
Some intrepid culinary pioneer in Japan decided that a mere Big Mac with Fries meal (with a side of McNuggets) wasn’t tasty enough on its own (ed. note — it is), and so this daring person opted to put the whole thing in a rice cooker and press go. I’m not sure I’ll be putting this on my slate of Adventures in Domesticity plans, but then again…
In case you haven’t seen this video yet, do yourself a favor and watch it now. And then remind yourself to never, ever do the cinnamon challenge (attempt to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon without spitting it out or barfing).
Last night, a friend of mine offered me a free ticket to the Taste Awards (also known as the Tasty Awards, depending on which part of the official website one visits), which is a burgeoning celebration of food, fashion, drink, and style — four realms that most certainly deserve a glitzy award show. I was quite excited to attend, and while I knew this event wouldn’t have the same celebrity wattage as the Critics Choice Awards down the street (which featured, you know, celebrities and production values), I still looked forward to seeing some of my favorite food and lifestyle personalities honored.
It was therefore somewhat shocking that a ceremony celebrating style and fine living would be executed in such an unstylish, shoddy manner. Let’s not bury the lede here: in the ten years I’ve spent in Los Angeles, this was by far the most inept, bumbling, and downright amateurish formal event I’d ever attended. It made the Fox Reality Channel’s “Really” Awards look like the Oscars. It made the Grammys look like the Nobel Peace Prize. It made the People’s Choice Awards look like the Kennedy Center Honors. Have I hammered home the point yet? I’ve seen preschool awards delivered with more grace than these things.
On the plus side, the Taste Awards offered up a never-ending supply of unintentional comedy. At least it was funny to me as I went for free. The same can’t be said for the poor saps who spent $125.00 on tickets on this fiasco.